[shmagggie]

So, we have been doing fine, until, today he hasn't talked to me, because his phone died. He refused to talk to me on the phone, physically. When, I told him to call me when he's ready, he replied with "k?". Then later, I sent him a text saying "So... You're not going to call me." and he replied saying "no?". That hurt and confused me. I asked him "what did I do?"... Another reply "nothing?". Then after that he didn't reply to any texts or didn't answer his phone. Nothing has happened, I haven't done anything, & I don't know why he is acting like this. If I back off, do you think he will call or text? Is this a sign he will end things? I need advice, please. He means so much to me.

[mmresd]

How long has it been? It seems like this all happened in one day. If it did, you need to back off and give him some breathing room, if he is busy, having someone call you and text you repeatedly demanding an answer is never fun.

[Wondergirl]

Be careful you don't sound like a needy, insecure girlfriend. Most guys are doers, not talkers. Be your own person who is happy and fun-loving--the girl he fell in love with.

[talaniman]

He is playing on your feelings, making you feel desperate and needy. This is a form of manipulation, and disrespectful. He does it because you let him. He knows you won't get mad or do anything about it because you are so scared of losing this fool!

When you allow bad behavior, you get more of it.

[shmagggie]

Sorry I am replying so late, he ended up answering. He told me it was because he was having his "bro time" with his best friend. This week, we have hung out twice, but lately it seems like something has changed.. He doesn't text me like he used to.. Like he'd randomly say "Love you" and tell me either good morning or goodnight. He doesn't do it... and just last week we were fine. Do you think something has happened? Is he not interested anymore? We have been together for 5 months.

[talaniman]

How old are you two? Sometimes when the newness wears off we see things differently and get use to the real ways of our new partner. All relationships change for good or worse, depending on the maturity of the partners to talk, and work together going forward.

A relationship is anever ending process of adjustments, and working together. So talk, and make sure your issues are realistic, and not insecure, clingy behavior.

[shmagggie]

I'm 18 and he's turning 20 this year. I try my best not to be clingy and make myself busy. He never wants to talk about our problems--he just ignores them.

[talaniman]

Trust me a 20 year old wants to have fun, and do fun things, not sit and talk about deep emotional things. He doesn't see this as a forever thing at all. I bet you do though.

Let me ask if you have things you like to do without him??

[Wondergirl]

Most guys don't like to talk about problems or even know they exist. (To them, a problem is when the car doesn't start or the toilet overflows.) I have to tell my husband there are relationship problems; otherwise, he's go off somewhere like to Walmart, whistling merrily.

[shmagggie]

But we've talked about being together for a long time... like having a future together... You really think it won't last and he's losing interest in me?.

[talaniman]

No I just think you are further down a hopeful path than he is. What's obvious though from what you have written, is you are way more into this than he is, and its only been 5 months. WAY to soon for those forever, and ever plans.

I don't care what you have talked about. There is just too much more to learn about each other to have such high hopes in my opinion. Be realistic, and have fun finding out if his actions and words match, without getting so carried away by feelings you ignore FACTS!

[shmagggie]

Okay, so how can I discover these "facts" ?

[talaniman]

You enjoy yourself, and pay attention to what's going on around you, without getting carried away by feelings. Then you can relax, and see how things go and not just how you want them to go. In this way, you can tell if words and actions match, and if they are even worth believing in the first place.

If you take your time and pay attention you won't rush to give your heart to someone that doesn't deserve it, or doesn't know what to do with it. I know that love feeling at the beginning is so hard to resist or keep your wits about you, but the heart you save may be your own.

What's the hurry??

[shmagggie]

Never thought of that. Thank you. I need to start worrying about myself, before him.

[talaniman]

Always be happy with yourself, and take care of yourself, even when others do not.