[madonna2006]

My son's dad and I do not have a good relationship. He cheated many times while we were together and lies about everything, including important things that have to with our son(like where he takes him, who he is with, etc). We live in different cities, have a custody agreement, and his dad refuses to ever introduce me to his girlfriends that spend time with my son. Ourson is 5. Recently, his girlfriend who I never met contacted me and told me not only does my sons dad tell my son to lie to me, but that she found pictures and texts in his phone of his getting oral sex from a man he met from sexual encounters section of craigslist. I am not homophobic, but I find this information disturbing because I worry about his judgement and who he has around my son. If he wanted to have a relationship with a man and be open about it that's one thing, but to be having sex with random strangers off the internet scares me and I'm just shocked getting this information about his dad. I always felt he may be a sex addict. What do I do with this information and should I be worried?

[kcomissiong]

I'm sorry, but I actually don't think that it is any of your business. You are intruding into his life in a way that is inapprpriate and bordering on harassment. Why should he have to introduce you to a girlfriend, or to the people he visits? Do you give him an accounting of where your son is and who he encounters when he is with you? A court found him competent to make choices for your son during his visitation period. If you have evidence that he is not doing that, take it back to court and ask that the visitation be supervised or limited. I am not seeing a reason for a court to do so based on what you provided here.

As long as he isn't exposing your son to inappropriate behavior, or placing him into harmful situations, who he has sex with is his decision. Who he visits when he has his son is also his decision. I would open a dialouge with him and your son so you all have a clear understanding of what is appropriate and what is not, and that you son knows what things he needs to discuss with an adult, but other than that, leave him alone. His behavior may be uncomfortable, but isn't illegal or even bad parenting. (Again going off what you have shared here).

[JudyKayTee]

... Recently, his girlfriend who I never met contacted me and told me not only does my sons dad tell my son to lie to me, but that she found pictures and texts in his phone of his getting oral sex from a man he met from sexual encounters section of craigslist

If you can prove he is a danger to your son - and I'm not seeing that - go back to Court and get the visitation order changed. Proof is going to be the problem.

I'd be MORE concerned that the current girlfriend is contacting you to discuss your mutual or otherwise concerns about your ex and her current boyfriend. Very strange, indeed.

Otherwise it would be "nice" if you met the women he brings into your son's life. Unfortunately, that decision is in his hands.

He's the father of your child. No matter how estranged you are from each other aren't you united in what is best for your child? What would I do? I'd meet with the father, tell him what you THINK you've learned and ask him straight out what's going on.

I see the girlfriend as a troublemaker - for whatever reason.