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sudsmaster · Mar 1, 2012, 10:55 AM

Hello Everyone,

I have posted on here before and today is my 2 month mark since my Fiancé left me. She came home one night after work, packed her stuff, said she needed a break and I found out I was single via Facebook. We never fought and was scheduled to be married this September. Reports I have been getting she left me for a guy at her work or had him lined up when we broke up. They went out the very next week and he dumped her shortly after. Since then she has a "buddy" that lives close to "our" home that we had (thank god it was in my name)and I see her car all the time. I treated her very well and thought we had a perfect relationship. Everyone you would talk to said we were a match in heaven. I have had no contact with her in 60 days today. I was so devastated I took a week off work when it happened. My question to everyone what should I do. I am following no contact and she is the one that ended it with me. Think she will come back? Should I contact her? Why do you think it could happen? How can I get myself to stop thinking about her and the guys she has been with so shortly after?

Thanks!

odinn7 · Mar 1, 2012, 11:15 AM

Buddy... you're killing yourself over someone who isn't worth it... really.

Will she come back? Probably not. She left you for some other guy and that didn't work out so what did she do? She found someone else... not you... someone else. That right there should be your answer.

No, don't contact her, it will only make things harder for you to deal with.

She really isn't worth it. I know you miss her, I get it. You need to look at what she did to you and how she left you (as you had explained in your other post a few weeks back). You need to think of the bad things and stop focusing only on how great things were because really, I bet there are plenty of poor memories as well. From what you have said about her, she seems to me that she is just a user... looking for someone to take care of her... looking for someone better than the last guy.

You also could wonder why the guy she left you for dumped her after only a week. Maybe he realized or saw that she wasn't all she makes herself out to be.

The bottom line is that you really need to stop beating yourself up over this and hanging on to false hope. Believe me, if she ever did come back, it wouldn't last and then you would be going through this all over again from the start. Hang out with friends, family. Find things to do. Time will heal you and you'll look back and wonder what the hell you were thinking. You will... trust me. You can do better, and if you give it time, you'll find someone that fits with you.

Take care and good luck.

sudsmaster · Mar 9, 2012, 12:30 AM

Sorry for the delay in reply but I do agree with what you are saying. Hardest part of my day is just know she is with someone else and just the fact like the last two years just disappeared from her head. Guess I would feel better of I knew she felt some type of hurt from it all. Also haven't talked to her any but one of her friends text me two days ago and says she wants to be friends with me now. I respectfully declined.

redhed35 · Mar 9, 2012, 12:54 AM

Well done on 60 days of no contact, its hard going, but your getting there, your healing.

Keep busy in your life, throw yourself into getting fit, work, family and friends, be so busy that you don't have 2 seconds to think about what she's doing, and when those thoughts come don't entertain them, move swiftly onto something more positive, perhaps plan a holiday?

Breakups are hard, heartbreak is even harder, but if you keep going in no contact direction you WILL heal, don't check up on what she's doing, tell her friends if they contact you that you don't want to know about what she wants..

If she's with someone else I doubt she's sitting there hurt and crying over you!

Your focus needs to stay on YOU not HER.

As hard as it is right now to believe the hurt your feeling will pass, continue no contact, its for you, not her.

sudsmaster · Mar 9, 2012, 06:41 AM

What do you think the wanting to be friends thing is about?

odinn7 · Mar 9, 2012, 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by sudsmaster

Hardest part of my day is just know she is with someone else and just the fact like the last two years just disappeared from her head. Guess I would feel better of I knew she felt some type of hurt from it all

I've been there, I understand. You just need to let it go and stop concerning yourself with what's going on in her head. Who cares... it's all about you right now and just forget about her.

I can only guess about the friends thing... it's probably to alleviate any guilt she may have had. Like it may make her feel better that she's "nice enough" to be your friend. Don't fall into that trap either... I made that mistake for a short time. It winds up being that they tell you all the things you don't want to hear. How great so and so is, how wonderful they are doing with this or that... really, it becomes a mess.