[Jord23]

I've been dating this guy for almost 5 months now and everything between us is great. He is a very sweet person who's hardworking and very forgiving. We have an agreement that neither of us wants a relationship right now, but we don't date other people. We have gotten VERY close. He and his ex were together for two years and they still communicate and have seen each other quite recently at a basketball game. Their breakup was over a misunderstanding so it wasn't something they really wanted to do, but that was over a year ago. I tried to ignore the fact that they still talk because I'm trying to trust him, but there was a tiny... Ginormous... Voice telling me that something wasn't right and my voice is never wrong. I decided to go through his phone one day and found text messages between them that were inappropriate (pictures, them talking about sex, etc). I didn't bring it to him because I mean... I went through his phone, how does that make me look when we are just "dating"? There were also several times when I was with him and she called him at a late hour. I don't want to seem crazy, but I don't think its fair that we can act like we're in a relationship yet I can't say anything about this because of technicalities. I've never told him that I know what I know, but I have voiced that I don't like him talking to her and he claims that since he's with me everyday I shouldn't be worried about her. He also stated that me bringing her up all the time is going to make him talk to her about it which is bs to me because that's what you have friends for. I think she wants him back.. I don't know about him though. I don't know... What should I do ?

[Missy02]

I totally understand where you are coming from.. My husbands ex calls all the time and uses an excuse about the kids but then talks about her life her family and he sits and listens.. She rings when she knows I'm at work and I've confronted him about this and like your boyfriend he brushes it off... I think it's the case of if I can't be with you I don't want anyone else to be with you... If there is no children involved he has no reason to be in contact with her.. Not good about texts sex talk.. If I was you as hard as it would be... I would tell him it's me or her and take some time off... If he comes back to you then it's you and she's gone.. If he goes back to her then you've saved a lot of time and heartache... And you can move on trust me - it becomes consuming worrying all the time what he's doing when your not around

[hsleep1992]

Jord, if I were you I would definitely confront him. Who cares you went through his phone? That won't be the issue once you tell him what you saw. And missy, if you are married to the man, why are you so insecure? I call my kids dad all the time to bs... Get over it. They have kids together. Assuming you knew that when you married him, you should really not be complaining about it. Trust your husband. He's with you, not her.

[Venelition]

Well now knowing what you know, I believe you should confront him, whether he knows you went through his phone or not. The phone aside, if he's not willing to make the effort to ignore his ex, he seems to be using you. I don't want this to sound harsh, but that's what it is. I believe that if he's still talking to his ex, he still has some sort of feelings deep down inside. Tell him either he cuts her off immediately, or you cut him off immediately. Now, I don't know how your relationship works, but I'm assuming you don't ask for much, so this really isn't a problem for him. Bring up the phone thing if you need extra evidence, otherwise I say you kick him out. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.