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    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #1

    Feb 22, 2012, 09:23 AM
    Insecurity in our marriage
    On the few occasions I have been upset by certains things and / or how they were said, and I try express my feelings and speak up where we both need to change and the response u get is if you don't like it leave...

    How would you take it?
    ads13's Avatar
    ads13 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Feb 22, 2012, 06:52 PM
    No one likes to be called out. No one likes to be confronted with something they did wrong with a WE need to do this and WE need to do that because all they hear is YOU YOU YOU!

    Works well on my Kinder students.. Try reversing the situation. If they talk to you in that tone you can try it again later on them and state how you hated it and how you could have handled the situation better. That way its about you not them. And come up with solutions together. Not just your solutions for the two of you.

    If it doesn't bother them then they won't ever understand why it bothers you.

    "If you dont like it Leave!" personally I would say that if I had already given up. OR If I was sick of hearing the same thing over and over. I would say it as if I were standing up for myself.

    Without knowing more details this really is not a bad problem depending on what the things were or how said. There is always worse. And if you truly love each other unconditionally then the relationship will be difficult and will need to be worked on from both not just dictated by one partner.

    Hope this helps. I really don't know all the details of your situation to help further.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #3

    Feb 22, 2012, 11:48 PM
    I feel under appreciated!
    I work to help out with bills, I look after our child, I cook, clean everyday, laundry, do grocery shopping alone.. he works hard, and I appreciate his hard work to support but shudnt I get some ounce of appreciation? I feel I get none!
    When I tell him, he stays quiet or says nothing!
    Its frustrating!
    Karma38's Avatar
    Karma38 Posts: 4, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Feb 23, 2012, 01:03 AM
    First, of all allow him to point out the things you need to change and you do him.Just because you want to discuss something doesn't mean he's ready to talk men will move on their time EGO thing. I don't agree with tick for tack but he's being selfish
    Both have to be willing to com
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #5

    Feb 23, 2012, 02:55 AM
    He is hard work and difficult and he admits to it!
    HE is very selfish sometimes.. All it takes is for him to tell me he appreciates me.. how hard can that be? But yet after I expressed my feelings about it and told him do you have anything to say (I opened it to him to tell him) but NO he has nothing to say.. that is not normal behaviour!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #6

    Feb 23, 2012, 03:00 AM
    I don't no whether the situation and him.. or try again :(
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #7

    Feb 23, 2012, 05:58 AM
    Karma38 I do give him the option to point out also.. Believe me its not a one way track with me. I open to options and changes where needed to help out a relationship. He knows how I am feeling, but yet he won't confront me or ask me.. he never does :(

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