[DownunderDave]

My 15 year old Daughter who lives with my Ex wife, recently (Last 14 weeks) she wants nothing to do with me, she will not speak to me or when she does it is an offhanded manor.

I keep leaving messages on the telephone with no reply, I have asked if I have done anything wrong still no reply.

I am at my wits end wondering "What should I do"?

She was happy to see me 4 weeks ago when she wanted a digital camera!

Desperate Downunder Dave

[CatherinenDaniel]

My 15 year old Daughter who lives with my Ex wife, recently (Last 14 weeks) she wants nothing to do with me, she will not speak to me or when she does it is an offhanded manor.

I keep leaving messages on the telephone with no reply, I have asked if I have done anything wrong still no reply.

I am at my wits end wondering "What should I do"?

She was happy to see me 4 weeks ago when she wanted a digital camera!

Desperate Downunder Dave

Hi Dave,

Are there conflicts between you and your ex wife? I was in the same situation when I was younger. Both parents would talk maliciously about one another and in the end I fell into depression. I felt as though I was betraying one another by having anything to do with either of them, but since I lived with my mother she seemed to have the upper hand and my dad was ruled out of my life. Bare in mind it was my own choice, which was offered to me by my mother, who insisted she wasn't pushing me either way but was thrilled when I did choose to not have anything to do with him because I felt obligated to side with her - to make her happy.

Therefore I was never really close to my birth dad, and am not to this day. He didn't attend my wedding, which is sad, but I feel like I don't really know him.

I really hope that you can come to some arrangement with your ex wife, and make something work now so no one regrets anything later.

Good luck, Catherine.

[Abuhar]

It is a typical case. Selfish divorced spouses and their desperate child, who has to "choose" while there is no choice, if the child lives with a selfish parent.

But, there is one only thing you can do to gain your child's attraction to you, no matter what your ex-spouse wants to. However, it will take your huge efforts of soul, intelligence, wit, research, and creativity! Hours and may days, maybe months or years of hope and struggle for your child:
You must become your child's HERO!
Particularly, for your daughter, since she still comes to you even though just to get camera, you find a chance to talk to her about her life, well, maybe find about her school problems, boyfriends, etc. If she doesn't speak, well, you would need to watch by yourself, secretly, ask her classmates, teachers, what would be her PROBLEM, which you could help to solve for her. This is a creative work!
I remember It was a movie. I was admiring one father's effort to gain her daughter's love by following what his daughter told him to do in order to impress her boyfriend. He pretended to be her old boyfriend so that her young boyfriend would get jealous! Of course, he resisted this role, but she asked so desperately... He helped her to write love letters, to make tricks, etc, which I don't remember, but I had an impression that such love will not possible to deny, even if mother is against. That is something one should see.

So, if you love your daughter so much that ready to fight for her love, you will find the way. But if you just want her to be there when you want her, then it is better for her to stay with her mom.