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    emoXpixxie's Avatar
    emoXpixxie Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Feb 17, 2007, 02:51 PM
    Are these lyrics I wrote any good?
    Okay, here are the lyrics. Deep breaths.

    You misunderstand
    This isn't some insane phase
    Where I threaten and pretend
    Like some lost small child's
    Cry out for attention
    I'm full of good intention

    You misunderstand
    You misunderstand

    And we'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    And we'll save the day
    But with our feeling burieds undernesth the dirt

    I don't really care
    Just as long as your there
    Some addiction meant to scare
    The younger generation
    With faery tales and dreams of
    Polite consideration

    You misunderstand
    You misunderstand

    And we'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    And we'll save the day
    But with our feelings buried underneath the dirt

    Well, there they are. In all theie glory. Well, I hope so anyway. Please tell me what you think.
    Neelie's Avatar
    Neelie Posts: 512, Reputation: 39
    Senior Member
    		  
    #2

    Feb 18, 2007, 01:37 AM
    I listen to music all the time and they sound fine to me.
    moomin007's Avatar
    moomin007 Posts: 158, Reputation: 33
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Feb 20, 2007, 05:44 AM
    Hi Emo,
    They appear pretty good to me. Can't wait to hear the soundtrack! You should get them written up.
    think_pink's Avatar
    think_pink Posts: 124, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Feb 20, 2007, 10:31 AM
    Well I listen to many songs and those lyrics sound good !
    emoXpixxie's Avatar
    emoXpixxie Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Mar 2, 2007, 04:13 AM
    Thanks you guys, it means a lot!
    Redbone's Avatar
    Redbone Posts: 21, Reputation: 3
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Mar 23, 2007, 08:42 PM
    They look OK to me I would love to here the tune as I am a musicion Myself and bet it would be better with the music
    ThatCuteEmoGirl's Avatar
    ThatCuteEmoGirl Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #7

    Apr 1, 2007, 06:24 PM
    There good
    sarockgirl's Avatar
    sarockgirl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #8

    Apr 3, 2007, 11:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by emoXpixxie
    Okay, here are the lyrics. Deep breaths.

    You misunderstand
    This isn't some insane phase
    Where I threaten and pretend
    Like some lost small child's
    Cry out for attention
    I'm full of good intention

    You misunderstand
    You misunderstand

    And we'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    And we'll save the day
    But with our feeling burieds undernesth the dirt

    I don't really care
    Just as long as your there
    Some addiction meant to scare
    The younger generation
    With faery tales and dreams of
    Polite consideration

    You misunderstand
    You misunderstand

    And we'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    And we'll save the day
    But with our feelings buried underneath the dirt

    Well, there they are. In all theie glory. Well, I hope so anyway. Please tell me what you think.
    They are actually quite brilliant.I listen to songs with lyrics like this all the time.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member
    		  
    #9

    Apr 4, 2007, 12:28 AM
    They rhyme and have a rhythm to them. They would work with music.

    Music Teacher.
    rkim291968's Avatar
    rkim291968 Posts: 261, Reputation: 34
    Full Member
    		  
    #10

    Apr 4, 2007, 12:37 AM
    Very good. However, I didn't get

    "Some addiction meant to scare
    The younger generation
    With faery tales and dreams of
    Polite consideration"
    aliceinchains88's Avatar
    aliceinchains88 Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #11

    Apr 4, 2007, 12:57 AM
    They look pretty good to me, I listen to music all the time and I write poetry and lyrics also, put music to them, then they will really sound great
    Greminent's Avatar
    Greminent Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #12

    May 20, 2007, 03:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by emoXpixxie
    Okay, here are the lyrics. Deep breaths.

    You misunderstand
    This isn't some insane phase
    Where I threaten and pretend
    Like some lost small child's
    Cry out for attention
    I'm full of good intention

    You misunderstand
    You misunderstand

    And we'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    And we'll save the day
    But with our feeling burieds undernesth the dirt

    I don't really care
    Just as long as your there
    Some addiction meant to scare
    The younger generation
    With faery tales and dreams of
    Polite consideration

    You misunderstand
    You misunderstand

    And we'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    And we'll save the day
    But with our feelings buried underneath the dirt

    Well, there they are. In all theie glory. Well, I hope so anyway. Please tell me what you think.
    Well man, I also compose rap songs and you have to make your song longer
    NorCal68's Avatar
    NorCal68 Posts: 79, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
    		  
    #13

    May 20, 2007, 05:30 PM
    The song length is just fine.. this isn't rap by a long shot! You've done a good job here, keep working on your lyrics.
    Just a suggestion, look at your chorus - leave out the 'And' on both lines as well as the 'But' and you've made a powerful statement that feels like the kind of 'hook' that publishers are looking for. Trust me, I know these things. LOL

    We'll fade away
    A footnote in the lives of those we hurt
    We'll save the day
    With our feelings buried undernesth (sp?) the dirt
    rankrank55's Avatar
    rankrank55 Posts: 1,259, Reputation: 177
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #14

    May 20, 2007, 06:10 PM
    Love them... would this be like an alternative or rock song?
    yeahIskate's Avatar
    yeahIskate Posts: 19, Reputation: -1
    New Member
    		  
    #15

    May 22, 2007, 02:20 PM
    I like them and I would like to hear the music that goes with it
    cal823's Avatar
    cal823 Posts: 867, Reputation: 116
    Senior Member
    		  
    #16

    May 25, 2007, 03:17 AM
    Amazing song lyrics! I wish I could write good lyrics, and sing lolz
    lou007ct's Avatar
    lou007ct Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #17

    May 26, 2007, 07:09 PM
    The lyrics look good to me. Hope you have plans with them.
    emoXpixxie's Avatar
    emoXpixxie Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #18

    Jul 24, 2007, 06:04 AM
    Thanks you guys for all your comments, glad you like them!
    emoXpixxie's Avatar
    emoXpixxie Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #19

    Nov 12, 2007, 09:03 AM
    Thank you everyone for your kind words and helpful comments. I appreciate a lot! Thank you especially to NorCal, I have done what you suggested and it is a lot better. And to rankrank55, I would say its an alternative song. Thanks a bunch you guys!
    Xxxxxx
    IDontKnowMe's Avatar
    IDontKnowMe Posts: 19, Reputation: 5
    New Member
    		  
    #20

    Apr 10, 2008, 08:04 AM
    Wow. I know you wrote them along time ago, looking at the date this question was posted I mean. But I really like them.
    Have you written any other songs more recently? If you have I would love to give them a read too, if that's okay?
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