[Kohoutek]

My boyfriend left his partner for me - We've been together 4 months now and we're completely in love, but she won't leave us alone. She's been alternating between begging him to come back and then telling him he's ugly and that she doesn't know what I see in him. She's attacked him twice in front of their son when he's been round to visit him - the first time she threw him down the stairs, the last time she broke his ribs!

She's been texting me long abusive messages (everything from calling me ugly, to telling me that my boyfriend is a liar and has been sleeping with her all along), after stealing three of his phones and getting my number, and lying about me to his friends and family.

The last text she sent said that she was coming to see me whilst I was at work on Saturday (I work in retail). What should I do? I'm terrified she will turn up - my boyfriend said that, knowing her as he does, there's a 30-70 chance she'll keep her word but 30% is still too high for me!

I never reply to her texts but I replied to that one and told her that if she set one foot inside my place of work, and given her violent history and the fact that her last attack on my boyfriend 'went on record', I would have the police out on a charge of harassment faster than she could say "Criminal Record" - but she replied that I couldn't stop her from shopping and that she was going to bring her son and show him the 'ugly *****' his father left for.

I don't know what to do. I really want me and my boyfriend's son to have a relationship in the future. I see this lasting a long time, and, as my parents separated when I was young, I know her behaviour is only being detrimental to her son's feelings towards her in the long term - but I'm so terrible at confrontation and I really don't want the unprofessionalism of her turning up in my place of work.

Any advice? I have a horrible feeling she's right and that I couldn't have her thrown out if she just 'turned up'. Obviously if she starts having a go at me in public, it's a different matter, but as it stands I'm just scared to go to work!

[Schoolmarm97]

Restraining orders are always nice. :) Then you most definitely can have her thrown out. Go to the local police station and see if they'll swear one out for you as a temporary until you can get a judge to grant a full one.

If you can't get that done in time, you CAN have her arrested for assault if she shows up and makes a scene. Press charges. It's not pretty, but it might be your best bet. But if she just shows up to shop, there's truly nothing you can do without an RO. It's a shame that she's not going to let your new love's son have the pleasure of your company, but really, did you expect that moving in on someone else's lover wasn't going to have repercussions? Sometimes you pay the price up front, and other times it comes over time in small increments, but there's always a price.

And here's a word of advice: If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you, so don't be surprised if four years from now you're the one chasing down his next Big Love. You and he were in the wrong, not his partner. She may be a total she-devil, but he should have left her on those terms before he started a new relationship. It would have been the right thing to do, and his integrity would have shone like a beacon.

[talaniman]

CALL THE COPS, AND REPORT THIS!! Like he should be doing!! I guess that's what happens when you steal somebody's baby daddy, and he ain't handling his business to protect you.