[weirdnworried]

Hi All, been driving myself crazy over this for the last 9 months and although I've come to some peace with it, I feel like I still need help from the community. Maybe just for reassurance to know that I'm OK to feel weird... Or to hear the truth from others in my situation. Anyhow, thanks in advance, here's my spot, any suggestion/advice will receive an open ear :)

So I came out of a marriage just 3 years ago from someone I was with for about 7 years. We were dating for about 5 years before getting engaged and then only married one year before I found out she was cheating on me with a close friend of mine (who also happened to be one of my groomsmen). So, that being said and done, I had a pretty tough year or so after that and had gotten myself back in order :) Another year later I met a girl who'm I've now been dating for a little under a year. We've built a great relationship and even better, she has a daughter which is one of the greatest kids I've ever met. I get along great with the kid, even to the point to where the kid is constantly calling my her "stepdad" even though she knows I'm not and even over that, she has asked me a few times if "i can ask her mom to be her stepdad" (she's under 10 so I'm sure she's not even aware of what she's asking, but to a certain extent, I want to deny her obliviousness). For most guys, this may be a scary situation, for me, its great, two wonderful girls in my life and I really do feel like a family man. Anyhow, here's where the troubling part comes in, when I first started dating the girl I am currently with, she had literally just split up with her ex due to him being abusive, he had also just gotten out of jail, which was one of many times he had been in jail since the daughter was born (total of over 6 years of the daughters life). So, needless to say, the daughter doesn't really have a relationship with the dad other than his promises to take her to toys are us on his infrequent "jail releases". Throughout the times he was in jail, his family was helpful to my girlfriend in taking care of their daughter, to the point of where they were feeding, clothing, housing and educating her. More recently (within the last year) my girlfriend has gained some independence in being able to support the child on her own (as well as with my help), the problem comes in with the relationship with the exboyfriends family. I suppose the time in jail for the boyfriend and my girlfriends need for support stemmed some sort of relationship between the exes family and my girlfriend, I just figure this should have somewhat been severed after she actually gained the independence. I spoke with her about my feeling uncomfortable with her being so involved with his family and her response was that she had to allow the daughter to still be able to communicate with the father, and that the only reason she had an open line of comunication with him is because of the daughter. Well, not surprisingly, the father is in jail again, this time for a while, my girlfriend however still continues to communicate with his family, not for the daughter now, but more for being at their family events, like going to her ex boyfriends, sisters baby shower, inviting them over for parties and even having me meet the exboyfriends mom at a recent birthday party for the daughter.

Now, I come from a family with divorced parents and I can't remember once that my parents actually came together after the divorce, certainly not with their new spouses. My question is this, given the situation with the daughter and all, should I be weird to feel weird about her hanging out so much with her exboyfriends family? It just seems to irk me a bit thinking that these people, all of his family, are OK with my dating her and even more so, that they are encouraging her and my relationship. I would assume they'd be doing the exact opposite. Should I just let her live her life and stop future involvement of myself? Do you think the consistent communication with his family is her way of not being able to let go? She was with him for almost 10 years, is it possible that she still has feelings for him and doesn't want to let go but at the same time feels something financially stable with a good home which makes her not want her to take her daughter out of the situation. Help Please!