[lacarthic]

I was with my girlfriend of 10 months this weekend, and I was looking at her pics on her cell phone with her. One of her folders was the photo library from her old phone when she transferred the files over to her new one awhile ago. In that folder was some pictures of her ex. She had a really bad break up a year and a half ago and told me it took a long time for her to get over her ex. She also has some old pics of them together on Facebook . I asked her if she was over her ex, and she asked what I meant by over her ex. She said that she still has a place in her heart for him because he was part of her life at one time, but she said she definitely would never ever want to be with him romantically and that he was not a good human being and toxic to her and that she loved me and would delete the pics.

Should I be worried?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, you need to be seriously worried, that you are upset over old photos. If you don't have some photos of your ex if you were with them for any length of time as a memory of the past, I would worry about you also.

The fact you got upset it appears and was questioning her about it, I would be worried.

The fact you seem to want and perhaps made her feel forced to delete the photos, I would be worried.

[talaniman]

Worried about what?

[neverme]

In my mind it'a only a testament to who she is, someone who's willing to learn from her past but doesn't need to erase it. Strong and healthy girl, methinks.

Fact is she can erase them from a website but that won't erase them from herself. You need to think about if that's OK with you.

[geminichick]

So if he was not a decent human being and was toxic to her I would ask her why she would want to have pics of him in the first place and why would he would be in a special place in her heart if he was this type of individual. Thos pics of him should have been gone way after the relationship was over. She should not have them in her possession. This is one good reason for no contact and throwing memories away from an ex in tomorrows garbage. It's hard to move on and puts a wedge between any relationship the individual may be in the future. I would have a pretty good reason to be concerned.

[Jake2008]

Any relationship that ends, will have memories. Partners who have lost their wifes/husbands through death for example, carry memories of the good times.

Most of us, after recovering from a relationship, no matter how bad it was, realize that there were good memories.

She likely has good memories of any relationship she's been in- with her family, friends, boyfriends, etc. Removing the picture, does not remove the memories she chooses to hang onto.

All you are telling her, is that because you are now in her life, she has no need for pictures, or what really is memories, of her ex.

That is your problem, and quite arrogant in my opinion, to attempt to erase someone who was once, quite important to her.

Would you also ask her to delete pictures of her deceased Grandmother?

If it is only a memory, she is entitled to keep what she likes.

If you are concerned that she makes that choice, perhaps the problem isn't with her.

[joelebaltazar]

She won't have to delete them unless you tell her. For example I would could keep pics of my ex and when I got a new girlfriend still have them and unless she told me to gbvet rid of them I wouldn't. Don't worry just tell her you don't like them. She can delete them and that's it. She still loves you.

[mmresd]

Don't ever go through her phone again, you need to trust her. I still have photos of several exes on my phone that I haven't looked at in more than a year, I just really don't care to go over them and erase them. Trust your girlfriend, what is done is done, now she will erase, you don't need to double check.