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That is not good.
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No I know. \his mum, is coming to collect Isla tomorrow evening for a couple of hours to spend some time with her and to enable pete to see her without me being involved and without me having to face pete! She will then drop her back to me a couple of hours later.
I am doing the right thing by letting Pete see his daughter and we are supposed to be having a chat in a couple of days - if things are still the same then that's when we will talk maintenance. I have got no problems with him paying for his daughter. He has already said we will discuss that if/when it comes to it. |
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You give your baby a kiss and hug from our little family to yours. Sounds like the baby is doing well, and yes it is good to have that time with the baby. You trust Petes mom right? You were pretty close as far as I can remember. Anyway, please let us know how things go and you and your little one is in our thoughts.
Joe |
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Thank you so much for help and support as always. I don't know what I would do without you all. My littlin is just over 2 months old now ans well over 10 pounds in weight. She is smiling, giggling, holding her head up and really is my little star.
I do trust Petes Mum - hence the reason I will only allow her to go round theirs if she is there. I will take all your thoughts and suggestions into account and try and make a decision (Its really tough being here again; but I have Isla this time so I am not on my own and she loves me like no other could and I love her just the same. Will keep you all posted as things unfold over the next few days - but any more thoughts along the way are always appreciated. Xxx |
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 Originally Posted by DJ 'H'
Im sorry for this drama to rear it ugly head again. You don't deserve that in the slightest. Throughout this whole ordeal you have shown a strength and resolve that only a remarkable women could, so whatever happens we all know that you will be fine and eventually everything will work itself out. And as you say, its different this time, you have more support than just us here. You've got the most special kind of support, a little baby daughter and she will love her mum no matter what happens! Don't be a stranger! |
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Just curious DJ, but Pete is not afraid of caring for Isla is he? I just remember my first an was scared to death changing that first diaper or making formula and not knowing what to do when my son wouldn't stop crying. I got use to it but it is a new experience for young guys. Not making excuses just asking.
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Post Natal Depression Support for Fathers
Just adding a little to what Tal said the above might be an interesting read for you. Not saying it applies at all and more than likely it doesn't, but I was reading an article in my paper the other day about how doctors and midwives are finding more and more men find it a challenging time after the birth of a child. Perhaps his stress and fear is contributing to the stress in your relationship. Just some food for though! I couldn't find the article I read so I just googled "Post Natal Depression in Men" and come across this! |
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I agree with the above as well. My little one is four months, but at the beginning I was scared &%$# less. Very nervous and uneasy and at times did not know what to do. Now it is becoming a lot more natural. I am a lot more relaxed and easy going. I do know there were certain things that I would try to avoid at first because of fear, but it all became a piece of cake with the help of family and friends and especially the friends here with so much support and great advice.
Joe |
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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
The first time everything had to be done by the book. They new everything (or at least they thought they did) and no one else could tell them otherwise. But they were so stressed about getting everything right and it created stress on everyone around them. It was really quite annoying for those of us looking in but we understood. The second time round it was a lot more laid back. A lot less stress and everyone was happier. I know it is a little of track Holly but just an example of how babies can seem to cause stress on everyone around them early on! |
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I know and I did explain to pete that he should give us a break. |We had just had a baby which is a big thing - living together for the first time w
As never going to be easy; especially having Isla too , I even asked if there were problems because I couldn't give him as much attention at the mo. But he said no to most and that the rest was just rubbish. I feel a bit better today. Isla has been laughing and smiling anD talking lots of baby language to me.. which keeps me smiling. |
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Sorry DJ (et al) but Pete needs to "bloody grow up"!
Either you want a family with the person you love or don't get involved. Maybe I'm wrong but just another point of view. Personally I didn't take my own advice and baled out of the relationship. Not my best decision, but at least I took that decision and the ex got on with her life. She has re-married and is doing very well. |
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Hi Holly,
Have you applied for council housing? You are entitled to your own house, and can you share living with friends and family members until something suitable comes up in the interim so you won't have to be in a hostel? The housing issue is one that could work out well for you. I agree with what Tal says - there is no rush on your relationship with Pete. It seems as if you both wanted to play happy families, but the pressures are too large for both of you just now. Jesushelper and Wildcat are speaking sense - Pete does need to grow up, but what you have to look at is that he isn't doing it now, when it matters to you most. What do you want from him? Right now, you feel "neglected and unwanted". That must feel pretty cr*p, no? You have put so much effort and hope into keeping things on an even keel with this guy, who seems unable to meet you halfway. Why on earth are you bending over backwards for him again? I honestly feel he's being so selfish towards you. Think of all the men out there who are just dying for a child to nurture, and you have to call him on caring for his own daughter! He has fickle whims of wanting you and then freaks out that it won't work - why is he thinking ahead all the time, when what you need is someone to appreciate you in the now? And you are such a beautiful person! You are someone who knows how important the "now" of something is... don't let it come to a realisation that you have been pining for something to be right that may never be. The "now" of this scenario unfortunately, is that he is not up to scratch... let him prove himself whilst you are busy rearing the gorgeous life you both created. |
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Unfrotunaytely Pete won't be grown until his 30's I fear. Just too young. Guys these days aren't ready for things like marriage until their 30's.
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Have u suggested couple counseling together?
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