[sweetness51]

I been seeing this guy for a year now. We have great times together. I treated him like a king. We tell each other how much we love each other for life... Well in the past 4 days He just stopped with the contact. I have text him and called and the only response I get is I will call you later.. Well 5 days now no call. Right before this we have made plans to go to an event in March and make reservations for an hotel. Now should I cancel the reservations and the event and ask for half the money. Should I gave him space if so how long? Or should I just keep it moving? It is hurtful due to I really enjoy being with him. And don't know what happen. Please help me... I hate to be negative and think of him as a user. CONFUSED

[missdevious19]

Sorry you are going through this! There could be something going on or it could be nothing. Stop texting. Stop calling. Let him come to you. If he doesn't, let it go. YOU are worth being chased. Don't chase someone who may not want you as much as you want him. Give him a few days of no contact and if he doesn't explain himself REALLY well when he shows back up, drop him. He could be doing something bad, or he could just need his space. An open conversation when he does turn back up is a clear MUST. Let him know how much his lack of response to you felt. Let him apologize. Let him make it right. Give him the benefit of the doubt until he gives you a reason not to trust him. If this goes on longer than a week, then you need to move on. Like I said, YOU are worth being chased. Chasing someone else just shows them you don't value yourself and they don't have to either.

Good luck!

[talaniman]

Protect yourself. I see no reason for losing money when a conversation is all that's needed. It doesn't matter what the reasons are for him being unavailable, but leave him alone, and don't play into that game of confusion, and uncertainty because of his behavior.

Leave him alone and cancel your trip, until you know more, or take it with someone else. Based on your inability to talk with him, the chances of being reinbursed is even slimmer.

Without having facts, PROTECT yourself, and your heart.

[thegreatestviz]

If he is not treating you like his queen, he definitely doesn't deserve you by his side.. Going as far as making reservations while he isn't even communicating with you properly is a bad idea. My advice is cancel the reservation or tell him about this problem and look at alternative solutions.

[geminichick]

Sweetness51;

Thinking that the guy is a user is not negative thinking. If you are treating the guy like a "king" and possibly getting nothing in return is a user. It's impossible to try and make contact with someone if they refuse to talk to you. Keep him in the past and move forward and be with a guy who will return your affection towards you. Being with someone isn't onesided... it's a partnership. As far as booking a motel in March when he doesn't want to talk to you, take a friend or someone you enjoy spending time with.

[sweetness51]

I have recently started the NC rule but end up breaking it not once but twice within 4 days..

Me and this guy have been dating for over an year (no disagreements good at least I thought relationship).. Out of the blue he stop calling or texting (talk everyday).. When I text him I wouldn't get any reply... So finally he text (coward) and said he needed space.. OK.. So I text him back and told him I would respect his wishes.. That was 1/7..

So on 1/17 I just decided to text him to let him know that I'm think of him hope things are okay.. No reply.. Than on the 1/19 I text again and stated I hope things was going well with him and if he loved me like he said he does he would gave me closure.. Because I really needed it. No reply...

I felt like a fool after the 1st text and no reply but I felt really stupid after the 2nd one.. Do you think he didn't answer because he don't want closure? Always should I just delete his # and keep it moving... I thought very highly of this guy and to be treated like a baby doll and play with my feelings and put them on a shelf.. I heard maybe he don't want to hurt my feeling BullS@@T! He hurt them by texting instead of sitting down like a man.. I am a reasonable understanding person..

What do you think.. Hope that he will gave me closure like I requested (it has only been 1 day) or just delete his # and keep it moving?

[Fr_Chuck]

Most likely he read our advice and did not read your text or opened any emails and is doing real NC.

So don't text him, stop worry about what he is thinking and why he is not doing something. Don't email, don't look at his face book page, unfriend him on Facebook and other social media sites.

Then in 4 or 5 months ( not days) get back to us

[sweetness51]

I don't think he read this advise column but I have taken him # out of my phone.(but have it written down in my address book). He isn't on Facebook. At this point I am on th F@@k you stage.. The only other thing is that we have an event to attend in March. If I don't hear from him should I text or call and see what's up and ask for half the money?

[talaniman]

No Contact is not for closure, and if that's what you want from him, forget it. Get your own closure by accepting he wants nothing to do with you and leave the guy alone, and do what you have to to minimize your financial losses.

just delete his # and keep it moving?

You know what to do, you just don't want to do it. He isn't going to do ANYTHING for you, obviously.

No more half stepping

[sweetness51]

I been in a relationship with this guy for two yrs now. He has cheated on me.. And I forgive him and try to work it out. The problem is the person that he cheated on me with he continues to go over her house and hang out. I have told him several times I don't like this... But he continues to text, call and go over her house telling me it nothing we are just friends... That she have a man.. I recently found out that she have several men and is a freak in bed... I also found a text saying she loves him but don't want to be tied down in a relationship with one person ( she has 5 kids and no job) and he text back saying he loves her... So should I make him make a choice or should I just cut my ties and walk?

[redhed35]

Is this the same guy you posted about in January, that you had broken up with?

If so, his actions are telling you he does not care about your feelings or making amends for cheating.

Walk away, start no contact, re read the advice you got in January ( its gold!), and move on with your life, he has made his choice, he chose to continue seeing the other woman, only this time out in the open.

You deserve better then his treatment of you, take control and walk away and stay walking away!

[sweetness51]

Yes it the same person.. This was the resaon he needed space.. He wasn't for sure.. He told me that he loves and wants to marry me. That she was just a sex thing... He also stated that he likes her kids and he can be himself around her (drinking and talking nasty)... He is 53 and she is 30... I do love him very much and I do deserve to b happy and so do he but and If that is what he want than he should go for it which I have told him several times.. The one thing that I am afraid is that he may start to stalk me... Driving by my house all time of night.. (he done this before).

[redhed35]

If that's the case then call the police, log any stalking, and if it comes to it a protection order.

Time for you to get this guy out of your life once and for all, start no contact and stick to it!

As you said yourself you deserve to be happy, so make it happen, the first step is culling this relationship, get support from family and friends, perhaps have someone stay with you for a few days if your afraid.

[adi353]

Dump him ASAP

[talaniman]

Same advice as before, get this dude out of your life... PERMANENTLY!! My gosh how in the world did you let him back in for more of the same crap?