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    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
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    #1

    Feb 12, 2007, 12:05 PM
    A "gotcha" mentality?
    Is it just me, or have there been a number of questions lately that follow this pattern:

    A - Question is posted ...

    B - A resonable response is provided.

    C - OP comes back with a tirade about why the response is way off and how ludacris this person responding must be.

    I understand that sometimes someone makes a provocative post that is intended to make the reader really think about what they've just said. I do that myself, and I can understand a strong reaction to those posts.

    But there seem to be more posts following this pattern... Like a "gotcha" mentality is starting to emerge.

    :confused:
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #2

    Feb 12, 2007, 12:08 PM
    I see that too. Sometimes I think the OP is just a troll then I realize that they may not be - some people do indeed fly off the handle that easily. Sad indeed. I tend to spent less time here when I see events like that.
    KMSRyana's Avatar
    KMSRyana Posts: 142, Reputation: 26
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    #3

    Feb 12, 2007, 12:29 PM
    Yes, I see it. I also see the OP come back down to earth once in awhile after a little back and forth. It's not as common, but it does happen. So it makes it a little harder to pick out whether they are indeed a Troll or not.

    The other thing I have been seeing A LOT of lately is people resurrecting long dead threads.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #4

    Feb 12, 2007, 01:41 PM
    Yes, I agree with your thoughts on that. I have seen it and the poster seems to be setting others up. Hard to take anyone else serious.
    labman's Avatar
    labman Posts: 10,580, Reputation: 551
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    #5

    Feb 12, 2007, 02:19 PM
    I am surprised how patient many people are with obviously poor answers or ones that miss the point. Of course I get beat up a lot in Dogs for favoring people with spay/neuter lectures. We have a big problem with breeding far more pets that we have homes for. I am quite sure many of the people coming here with very basic questions covered in any book have not done any of the research needed for responsible breeding. ''What is the justation(sp) period of dogs?''

    I am here to help dogs, not make friends. I try to give gentle answers feeling a well written one is more likely to change behavior rather than send them away mad. If I still offend people, I am sorry, but I will continue to discourage irresponsible breeding.

    Long dead threads are a problem. Perhaps 4 months is too long of a lifetime.
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #6

    Feb 12, 2007, 02:30 PM
    I had the same concerns when I raised this question and more in this thread, Phil... https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/member...sts-39050.html

    I don't think some of the posts are sincere or meant for anything but head games. They seem to come in batches. I theorize that if one really lights us up good here, we get more immediately. Which is what I see happening. I didn't think the long blueiman or popotito threads were a good idea (like waving a red flag to the bull, frankly) but I am in charge of exactly zip here so... shrugs. Full moons probably don't help either. LOL

    They ought not be allowed to abuse us and we certainly shouldn't be firing back, it only adds to it. It takes some discipline to just not answer some of them but that is what was suggested repeatedly in the thread I posted so I try to keep to that. Don't answer unless its probably going to be constructive and leave at the first sign of it turning into something else. What they do is on them but what I do is on me.

    I didn't watch Jerry Springer on TV either.
    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
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    #7

    Feb 12, 2007, 02:48 PM
    Thanks - Val. I should have looked closer and I would've spotted your thread.

    And what was discussed there is exactly it -
    Posts that are nothing more than entertainment, head games, or simple attention seeking activities...

    I guess we just have to use our own judgement - or gut feelings- in trying to do what's right.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Feb 12, 2007, 02:49 PM
    It does seem like every now and then we get a bunch of looney posts who's only goal is to ridicule or disrupt. They seem to cycle in and out, maybe it is the full moon, I have no idea.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #9

    Feb 12, 2007, 03:19 PM
    Philly I have had the same problem too over the past couple of days. Valinor can vouch for me on one, LOL. I have been attributing it to the time of year. We are now just past the post holiday blues and smack in the midst of winter blahs in most areas in the states. In the warmer climates, the weather hasn't been that great either. I kind of just let it roll off my back and carry on.

    Val, I looked at the link of your old post. I guess this is just the way it goes. I have told a couple of people here that old saying -- "common sense is not all that common." When you are dealing with kids, you kind of expect it because they haven't had enough life experience to learn how to reason things out properly. But, there are just some folks out there with whom there is just no reasoning. I think they seek out sites like this because no one else in their life wants to listen to their complaining any more, and this is an outlet for them. They have the option of being totally anonymous on these websites. So, they vent. And, when they don't get confirmation or empathy, which is what they are really looking for, they throw a tantrum.

    Due to this, I am starting to become a little more particular about the posts I respond to. There is no way that Curlyben or Rick can fix this problem because it is an external one. Sure they can ban someone, but a new one will just take the place of the old one. Vicious cycle kind of thing. So, the logical thing for me to do is to put on my coat of armor along with my blinders and just continue to tiptoe through the tulips. I just do the best I can and don't lose sleep over it.
    Teaching's Avatar
    Teaching Posts: 198, Reputation: 28
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    #10

    Feb 12, 2007, 04:26 PM
    I feel threads can be misunderstood as I know I speak about children when I suggest something in trying to help. I think you have a good view here of what kind of expectations you like in a post.
    Allheart's Avatar
    Allheart Posts: 1,639, Reputation: 436
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    #11

    Feb 12, 2007, 05:43 PM
    I have notice this a bit myself. Sometimes you can get a sense straight away that "Oh, this isn't going to be good", but the past couple of days, it did come out of the blue and as Phil said, here comes the OP's response to your response and it's GOTCHA "crunch, crunch". They come back with all teeth showing. It hasn't happened to me, but as I am going through different threads I am noticing a couple of cases where several OP's have been stricken by the attitude bug.

    The best thing I try to do is be sure and not take it to heart or personal. Whenever they come out blazing, it means something is really not going well for the OP. So if they go off the deep end, try and not jump off with them. It may ruin your day, and sadly may make theirs.

    Stay safe out there. :eek:
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #12

    Feb 12, 2007, 06:07 PM
    I hear ya' loud and clear, Allheart! From my experiences (confirmed by therapists too) sudden reactions, especially ones with a lot of heat, are usually a sign that you've threatened their cover or denial system by getting too close to the truth. Possible exposure panics them. Everything after that is just a do anything, say anything to push that truth away. "Character assassinating" the source is only one of several tactics that can be used. An inadvertent breach in trust like that is seldom recoverable in casual (non-professional) settings and I should think certainly close to impossible between strangers. Some of these forums are clearly best served by the "slow to take offense" crowd. Wear good armour when necessary and learn how to duck is my motto. AFLACK!
    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
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    #13

    Feb 12, 2007, 06:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow
    They ought not be allowed to abuse us and we certainly shouldn't be firing back, it only adds to it. It takes some discipline to just not answer some of them but that is what was suggested repeatedly in the thread I posted so I try to keep to that. Don't answer unless its probably going to be constructive and leave at the first sign of it turning into something else. What they do is on them but what I do is on me.
    My thoughts exactly. I've become more selective about which posts I answer at all, and I'm more quick to leave when things take a turn for the worse. No good can come of trying to beat a pissed off horse until it's a dead one.

    Quote Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow
    I didn't watch Jerry Springer on tv either.
    Good for you. The "entertainment" business is demand-driven, and turning it off is the most powerful thing any of us can do.

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