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nitty03 · Dec 28, 2011, 08:09 AM

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. When we first got together we would have sex all the time, but now if I don't initaite it it will never happen. Also when we met he was addicted to oxy's, and since the age of 16 was a herion user. Now he has gon on methadone and its been since then that the problems started. I have told him I do not want a sexless relationship and he says things will get better. His past has many failed relationships and he is bitter and angry most of the time, hates his job, hates he doesn't have custody of his son, hates where we live. Just plain miserable. I asked him to go to the doctor and he says OK then never goes. I told him that being rejected all the time does not feel good, but he just says nothing. He says he loves me and does nice things for me, but when it comes to having sex it almost never happens, lucky if its once a month. So angry and I really think he needs to see a doc. I have heard that methadone can really afftect a mans testostrone levels. Please some advice

Kahani Punjab · Dec 28, 2011, 08:28 AM

Nitty03,

Firstly, welcome to this great site!

Drug abuse leads to sexless state of mind, and body, no doubt, but he must visit the medico. Hating job and such stuff is common for a drug addict, and only a drug counsellor, psychologist and a medico can best understand and treat him. You are right, methadone affects testostrone levels. Do not get angry with him, do not blame him, rather pity him, and convince him, (never accusing him of reaching such extreme) to visit the medico and get an effective advice.

Good Luck!

nitty03 · Dec 28, 2011, 08:32 AM

Thank you for welcoming me.I like this site already!

HE has gone to the clinic, but gets so stressed out and hates going there. My guess is he is uncomfortable. I have stood by his side through his amazing recovery. He has come so far. When we met he was definitely happier, but I think that feeling was more because the drugs made him feel that way , would you agree. Can drugs really change a persons personalitly that much? What do you think?

nitelight198073 · Jan 15, 2012, 10:10 AM

Why not try to be supportive? HE seems to have a lot of issues and if you love him, be there for him... News flash! Sex isn't everything but a good communication with your mate is!

ivette777 · Jan 15, 2012, 11:13 AM

Yes ma'am drugs can really affect the way people behave and feel, sex is not everything but it does play a major roll on relationships. I can understand where your coming from with this. Just encourage him to keep visiting the doctor and help him keep moving on, sex will come by :) good luck

~ivette~

talaniman · Jan 15, 2012, 12:32 PM

Hold off on judgements, and expectations until he has proved he can be clean, and stay clean for 18 month, to 2 years. Its enough he deals with his own demons, and really doesn't need to deal with your issues on top of all this.

Yes long term drug use can destroy every good thing about a person. A healthy sex life being the tip of the iceberg.