[balidang]

Hi guys,do you think love is always conditional?

I think that so because the feeling what we call love is always based on some hidden selfishness. I say "selfishness" we get attracted to someone because someone talks nice to us (condition), they treat us well (condition), someone has good financial stability (condition); someone is an artist, intelligent,funny, physically attractive, confident, innocent, or whatever. All are the conditions. We like that person for these characteristics. It could be a big turn on (in this case it is just a sexual attraction). After we get what we want from that person, we come across someone else who is different and then we would like to try that person. We end up either cheating on our partner or breaking up/divorce saying that love is not there anymore or we got to see other people. We make lame excuses to cover up our reputation even we know somewhere in our hearts that we are self-centered and trying to get what is best for us in the end. I am not talking about any specific gender and neither I am saying that everyone is like that. This is just my own experience and I have found that even the most happiest couples love each other for a reason. If that "reason" must be there for an healthy relationship, then love cannot be unconditional.

Any thoughts?

[talaniman]

We do things that make us feel good. Or think it makes us feel good, whatever that is. When it comes to love, we all have our own ideas about it that fit us, be it need, want, or whatever else we come up with. The trick in my own opinion is know what you feel, how YOU define yourself, and how it fits into your own life.

I mean love is not just a thing that's easy to define, but over time, like everything else, it changes, and grows, or fades, and disappears.

Its something that starts with YOU, and best shared with others. So it's a noun, a name of the feelings we have, and develops into a verb, the actions we take because of those feelings.

Conditional? Hey why not. Its easier to love when your having fun, but can you also love on a bad day? Love has to be tested, and survive, to grow, or its just another of many feelings.

Life is better with it though, conditional, or not. Or so we think! I believe the adjustments we are willing to make to keep it, is what defines it as healthy, or not.

[loplop]

I think true love is unconditional, since from my experience I haved loved someone and they did not love me and I knew, but still loved them. True love is not about reciprocity , you will always love the one you really love regardless.

[talaniman]

true love is not about reciprocity

I think true love IS about reciprocity, because we as humans are capable of loving many other humans. And life is much better I think, when someone loves us as much as we love them, and I cannot see a one sided love as being healthy, or as fulfilling, or even fun.