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kalaka · Dec 26, 2011, 01:21 PM

My Ex broke up with about 2 month ago but we communicate every now and then with each other. The last time she propose that we spend the new year's eve together but again said she is sure if that is good idea as she is not if she is over me yet.

So my Question here is what should I do to convince her to spend it with me or should I just leave it to her to decide if she is ready or not?

She blocked me on her Facebook page should I ask her why she did that if she says we are friends or not? Please Advice

Fr_Chuck · Dec 26, 2011, 01:55 PM

Obviously you want her back and how that by doing this, she will come back. You should tell her it was a bad idea and you are sorry and move on with your life. You should have been finding someone else to spend it with before now.

TrueFaith · Dec 26, 2011, 04:31 PM

I agree I don't think many people will tell you to go back with her

For me it seems like she is just Lonely for the Holiday's and wants some easy company
Second she is done she will leave you again.

I mean you don't just not talk to someone for 2 months then go oh hey lets spend this holiday together
When she probable knows how you feel about it her
That's why she thinks she can get away with asking you this..

Also deleting of Facebook well the reason is she wants to move on and get new pics up of her and other friends and does not want you seeing it
Pretty much saying

Hey my friends in my life can see my Facebook but you cant.

Honestly do you really want this person around you?

Do the right thing and spend Christmas eve with family
Or hell even by you self
Its better than spending a shallow night her.

All the best

talaniman · Dec 26, 2011, 06:08 PM

I know you can make a better plan than that? Leave her alone and get a date or go to a party without her.

Stay off her Facebook, and who takes a person who has blocked them on Facebook, and dumped them, to the biggest party of the year?

That's really a bad idea.

vanheart · Dec 26, 2011, 10:10 PM

Why are you letting her make your plans?

Make your own.

The more you wait on her, the more you may be disappointed.

Why wait?

Did you forget to hear this?:
"as she is not if she is over me yet."

You said it. I mean, she did.
Not good. I heard it.

Plus, she is an ex.
2 months.

Exs mean ex. No longer with you.
Gf, FB, yada.

kalaka · Dec 27, 2011, 07:02 AM

Guys Thanks for all the wonderful Answers. I wanted to really know what to do as I still have feelings for her and I think she does but she is just forcing herself to forget about me. But again I will reconsider her offer. Thanks guyzs

talaniman · Dec 27, 2011, 09:52 AM

I think she does but she is just forcing herself to forget about me.

That's an assumption on your part. And why might you be thinking that. Might you just be assuming what she is feeling because that's how you wish she felt? Or do you think you can change her mind, her feelings, or her actions?

What if she feeds you false hope for the attention? Or worse, to keep you where she wants you?

Ivaaa · Dec 27, 2011, 05:20 PM

My god, most of the people here ALWAYS advices to quit quit quit! Have you all been only hurt in life? Moving on is the easiest way! Yes, in some cases (and maybe in most of them, but not ALL) it is better for a person, but common! There are stories worth saving, I've seen it happening a lot of times. She might be the ***** that uses you because she has nobody else to call, but she can also be still in love with you and CHOOSING to spend it with you. I don't see she's making any of your plans, as far as I can tell, she asked, AND explained how she feels, and left you to decide how do you feel about it.
However, if you feel not ready for this, tell her that, and maybe meet her some other day, that doesn't have a special atmosphere attached to it. It might be less pressure for both of you. It's very brave from her to make such a step. I respect that. Moving on is so often just a coward thing to do to save your ego from breaking. It takes much more strength and self confidence to fight for what you want.

You know better than anybody how was your relationship and why it ended.

Good luck

O, and the Facebook thing - it could have been just a moment of rage and hard feelings over break up. I wouldn't put too much importance to it. But, it also depends on how important Facebook is in your/her life or how active you are and what are you using it for.

kalaka · Dec 27, 2011, 10:48 PM

Ivaaa. Thanks That is what I was Thinking too just fight for the relationship till I can't fight any more then I will move on. I was in Love with this Lady for 6yrs and she just decided to break up eith but as I said she wants to spend the New year eve with me. So I will Go and spend it with her and see if there is anything worth fighting for if not then I will tell her that I am done with her.

By the way she called me today 28/12/11 again asking me if I was seeing anybody since the breakup and she also added that it is not she cared but just wanted to know. And my answer no I was not seeing anyone as I was trying to get over the break up. She promise to call me tonight and confirm with about the new year Eve appointment.

I will keep guyz Posted.But again Thanks for all your advices.

vanheart · Dec 28, 2011, 04:52 PM

Who's going to be harsh here.

Not me.

"she also added that it is not she cared but just wanted to know"

The more you try here, the more you are going to be rejected. Lay off.

Don't contact her, or let her.

Sorry, I always say that in these situations. The breakup ones.

vanheart · Dec 28, 2011, 11:38 PM

Have fun n New Years.

Let me know how it goes.

kalaka · Jan 29, 2012, 02:41 PM

My EX always calls me just to see how I was doing. She called me the other day just to tell me she wanted me to buy her used Galaxy phone, then asked how I was doing in the sex world. I just told her I am seeing someone and she said are you seeing someone on the bed we use to share? I just said no.

Yesterday she called me again, I was not home and she left a message and in her voice I can hear that she sounds like she misses me, and her message was I JUST CALLED TO SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING.

I called her back when I came back, but she did not pick up, sent her a SMS got no reply. Is she playing with my feelings or is she just confused about what she wants?

talaniman · Jan 29, 2012, 09:40 PM

I would say both, She is a confused player! Better stop the contact guy. Stop responding to her altogether, and you won't get your feelings played with by this confused person.

But you already know that!

kalaka · Feb 8, 2012, 10:46 PM

My ex broke up with like 3 months ago and I never wanted to our contact to break so ever since we have been in a limited contact with each other, but the last time I have been doing good that when ever she calls me I just feel sad about our break because I Loved her so much but she just decided to end it because she wanted to be with lady (BI). I have a feeling that she is becoming a little sad about the break up I Might be wrong. But My question is is too late for a No Contact after having had limited contact all this while?

She just told me today that it is not what she though because they might broke up. What should I do? Should just leave and see how things turns out? I love her and still wants to be with her so we usually have nice conversation. She even promised to call tomorrow.

friend4u178 · Feb 8, 2012, 10:58 PM

You need to stop worrying about what she's feeling , in fact what you think she's feeling , because it doesn't matter and won't do anything but make you waste energy on something you have no control over.
Never too late for No Contact , and the sooner you start the sooner you'll start to feel better.

talaniman · Feb 12, 2012, 08:26 PM

Come on! She dumps you, jumps to some one else, its not working for her and she wants to jump back to you??

My gosh man, stop being this air heads emotional tampon, because if you allow her to suck you back she will use your love for a comfort zone, while she hunts for a better victim. She is in love only with herself and has the self control of a balloon with a hole in it.

She treats you like a big sucker. That ain't love, and neither is allowing yourself to be dogged out like this.

kalaka · May 9, 2012, 07:58 AM

My Ex spoke with me the other day and told she is not Happy with things in her life. She Asked me to lend her some money which I did. She also asked to come visit her because she needs me. I have not seen her since we broke up like 8 months ago. She broke up with me because she wanted to be in Lesbian relationship, but from what I can Figure out it's not working out for her

By the way I have Gotten over her I forgave her for all the wrongs she did me.

But she told me she is doing this because I have been asking to meet her. It is like she is telling me that she does not want to meet me like the way I want to meet her. The last time she told me she missed and we made plans to meet but I cancelled at the last moment and she told me she was looking forward to seeing me.

Now after we agree to meet up she told she doing it because of me.
My question here is should I go visit her? If yes should I bring her any gifts? Please advice.

I am really having doubts about going to visit her. The only thing I was thinking of going to her was to collect some of my belongings and collect my keys which she still have.

Wondergirl · May 13, 2012, 01:44 PM

Can you send a friend in your place? Seeing her is not a good idea.

Fr_Chuck · May 13, 2012, 01:55 PM

Send her some money to mail you the keys ?

I would not meet, don't take a gift, just meet for a few minutes get your stuff and say good bye

talaniman · May 13, 2012, 08:36 PM

Forget the stuff, and the keys. Changing the locks is a better course of action. When will you get it, and leave her alone and stop even talking to her?