[smith1012]

Ok I have this problem with my shyness which I can't get rid off. I always have this feeling of nervousness with my body heating up and my stomach having butterflies. Even when I'm alone just sitting in front of te computer I get this feeling; maybe because I wanted to talk to this girl on msn messenger but too hectic to open her chat window. When I see a group of people especially with nice women I get so anxious that I can't even say one word. This also involves new guys too. I do the "stop thinking negative thoughts" procedure but it just doesn't stop my body from shaking and heating up. I try to blank out my thoughts but still it doesn't stop me from feeling nervous. I do the focus on breathing technique, but no change in emotional state. One thing I discovered was that alcohol really puts you into a relaxed mood even though when you try to froce negative thoughts into your mind. So relaxed that the stuff I couldn't do due to anxiety were now so easy to do. I just love when there is alcohol in my system. It make life so great. I wanted to talk to this girl in the party but was so nervous even when I tried to bring the postivie thoughts out and eliminate the negative thoughts. After consuming some alcohol I was talking to the girl like now other. I discovered that all the things I wished I could do actually could be done. I wish I could be how I am when I'm relaxed from the alcohol consumption. I feel no matter what I do, nothing helps me from not being nervous in front a situation. I try my best but the result is mumbling and stuttering in front the girl. I know it's abusing alcohol when you consume everyday just to feel relaxed throughout the day, but I have no other choice. What can I do?

[valinors_sorrow]

Take this up with your doctor. After a thorough examination to rule out other things, he can offer you appropriate help with the nervousness that might include medications and/or therapy. Whatever your doctor decides, please give that plan a chance to work. But I would caution you about regular use of alcohol since that can and does turn into an addiction for some people. And that would be VERY bad news. I don't know your age and this very well may be something you will outgrow in time too. I know I was a very highstrung person in my youth and age has definitely mellowed me. Good luck and thanks for posting.

[JoeCanada76]

I agree with Val,

Most important step you can make is see a doctor, even start counseling. It is very important for you to take this step. If you do not eventually that high from the alcohol will drop you down on your knees and you will be feeling lower then you were before. This only masks and hides away why your so nervous/shy. I am wondering if anything happened to you as a child. Being raised a certain way, any kind of abuse.

You will need to face up to your emotions and your shyness instead of hiding from them and using drugs to ease them up. Although doctors may prescribe something, it is possible. Do not ask for it but go through the proper counseling first.

[AKaeTrue]

Smith1012,
I really feel for you. I too am dealing with nervousness right now, especially when having a conversation with other people - I'm always thinking that something I said made me look like a big idiot. This feeling has come and gone throughout my life and usually shows itself when I'm under a lot of stress.
I know the techniques you mentioned and I know you must feel frustrated that they are not working. But trust me, they do work, it just takes practice and dedication on your part. The alcohol consumption is not a good remedy at all. Soon, the alcohol you are consuming to relieve your nervousness will be the cause of other undesirable personality traits, take away your ability to cope, and make it 100 times harder for you to feel better.
See your doctor to talk about anxiety. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nervousness is very common and doctors see people all the time for it.
I hope this helps.
Kae