[heather831]

So, just for a little background info: I'm currently living overseas (military) and am separated from my family and have been for the last 5 years. Last year I didn't even have my kids with me as I was deployed to Afghanistan. My children were living with my mom for 18 months, so this year is my first year with them.

Last month was my birthday-it's not a big deal-I'm an adult so I don't really expect much these days anyway. But no one even emailed me a "happy birthday" message. So I was a little bit upset. Now, it's only days away from Christmas, and I haven't received one single Christmas card, no gifts for the kids, no messages explaining that everyone is broke (which I could totally understand). I'm not trying to sound greedy or that I'm entitled to anything-but it's just the fact that not one single member of my family, or even my in-laws have said, or sent a thing.

When I was deployed last year I didn't think much of it because I was WAY FAR AWAY. I just assumed it was because of postage, or things got lost in the mail etc etc.

It just hurts a little, OK, a lot actually. I feel forgotten I guess. And I was really hoping that family might be sending a few things for the kids, because money is a little tight this year, so they don't have much. I sent a box full of odds and ends, things I picked up throughout the year for my family for Christmas. And I haven't even received a thank you or even an acknowledgment of receipt.

I have no idea how to talk to them about it, without sounding like they owe me something, or if I should even bring it up EVER. Because that's not how I feel at all, and I don't want them to feel like I'm just being catty. I just don't want to feel abandoned-and the lack of communication is killing me.

Sorry for the ramble...

[vanheart]

You are absolutely right.

Don't expect anything, and you won't be disappointed.

Love is in your heart. Right?

We can't worry about what's in others'. Even family. Or mine.

Its OK.

[Fr_Chuck]

So how many messages have you sent them, Do you send messages and letters for each of their birthdays ?

Have you already sent them emails with christmas wishes and so on. Have you went on line and bought them a christmas gift and had to shipped to their home?

What exactly are you doing for them, and that may tell us how you should be feelling

[TrueFaith]

It makes me wonder

This gift you say you sent it a one time thing?
Do you send them emails everyday? Or at least when you can?

For me it seems strange that everyone would be ignoring you.
Most humans act on the base of give and receive.

More info on your actions to keep the communication alive please

[talaniman]

Thank you for your service, and I'm glad you got home safely. I think you are glad to be home, and expect much more love than you have gotten.

I think for now you keep things between your kids and husband, and give yourself, and your families more time to adjust. We often are disappointed with our loved ones when we need love and don't get it.

Just be grateful with what you have NOW, which is more than many, and share with your husband and kids.

Tis the season for giving, NOT receiving. And pray for those that don't know what they are missing. Be grateful for the blessings you have, not the ones you want, but don't have.


>cyber hug

[heather831]

I have sent packages--i even bought stuff off Amazon while I was deployed and sent it to my mom, stuff for my kids birthdays, little trinkets. I send small packages for every holiday--just little things.
I do email my sisters/brother, skype with my parents during the week.
I know I shouldn't be expecting anything and I'm not trying to sound selfish or whiney--
I just get upset when the only calls I get are asking me for money, or my sister only talking to me when she decides she's going to stop paying on the car I let her borrow... things like that.

Honestly, all I'd like is a card, maybe some pictures. Just something that says "hey, we haven't forgotten about you".

And I am extremely grateful for having this time with my little family--it just seems to get harder and harder every year to actually feel connected to the people I care so much about.

Yeah... I feel like I'm just being whiney--tis the season right?

[talaniman]

When family disappoints you, volunteer to good causes, or people who could appreciate the gifts of time and effort. Always makes me feel great, and appreciate the blessings I do have, however small they are.

[heather831]

Thanks everybody--i'm feeling a lot better today, revelling in the excitement that my kids are projecting makes it more exciting for me. So I'll just be taking things as they come. There's always next year!

Merry Christmas EVE!