[jiayan858]

I've been dating a man for two years. We are doing business together and we travel together. He's my dream man. Wherever we go, he tells everybody I'm his fiancée.

He still lives together with his ex- wife and two kids. He texts, emails, and calls his ex all the time. He said it's all about their two daughters. He cooks for the family every day and always stays in that house overnight. He always comes to see me in the early morning. Whenever I ask him, he always says that he's not in love with his ex anymore. But he will spend all the time to fix the house and buy furniture for the other house. He said it's for his kids.

It's been two years. What should I do?

[tickle]

He has found a way to "have his cake and eat it too"; if I were you, I would get out of this relationship before you wasted more of your life.

[jameelah27]

If you want to be the second female then stay but I there is other ways he can satisfy his children's needs I am going through a sitcho similar but I wouldn't put up with it at all it's more to it and she's not an ex believe women we deserve better make it business and that's it.. just my opinion

[mouse4702]

If it were me, I'd move on. He may well be genuine, but surely if he was serious about your relationship he would have made some arrangements to live with you, even if only part time. He may seem like your dream man, but trust me, there are LOADS more out there, who are available to give you all their attention and share space with you. As long as you are "on hold" with this guy, you may be missing out on meeting the true love of your life.

[Fr_Chuck]

So you don't mind him leaving her bed to come to you. You are his mistress, I am sure he tells his wife another story, This is just as old as men have been cheating.

You leave him or at best give him a choice her or you, ( you will lose but you can give him a choice)

[JudyKayTee]

I fail to see a person who spends his nights in another woman's bed as a "dream man" BUT - why should he change anything? He's happy just the way things are.

If he is divorced and you've been dating for two years I assume you've met his family and children. How do they treat you?

[Ariana1986]

Im going through the same thing. I met this guy a few months back and he's an amazing man. He encourages me to do a lot in my life since I'm younger than him. We meet up every week for lunch and dates and sometimes we head to his place where I stay the whole day and he sends me home. We have been having sex since the day we met and he did tell me that I make him feel like a man and he said he and his ex wife never had sex since his kids were born. He was married to her for nearly 10 years. He's been divorced for nearly 5 months now and I have been with him for 4 months. We even work together but I hardly see him as he also works for another company. He has his own place and but he heads to his exwife's place at night and says its because of his daughters and he stays in a separate room. Hes very close to them and I do ask how are they doing and recently I got them little things like badges and keychains, I'm trying to get him to introduce me to them and thought that me getting his daughters little things would start the process of meeting them. He went on a vacation with his daughters and I think his exwife followed him as well. We did have some nasty crazy sex after he came back but since then I haven't been to his place at all. He said its cause one of his friends moved in with him since his friends wife kicked him out. Today he met me for our date and he was wearing his wedding ring. I know he's divorced and its further confirmed by his good friend who also works with us. When I asked why he was wearing it is because of one of his daughters came in his room crying one day with it and he refused to wear it but because of her he wore it. Its bothering me a lot that he's wearing that ring, I have this strange feeling that ex wife wants him back and I want him more. He cares about me and wants me to progress in life but I don't want to leave him at all. Just spending few hours with him over coffee or lunch makes me feel so close to him. Hes the first guy I ever felt so close with physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Im still annoyed about him not asking me over since August and him wearing his wedding ring!

[JudyKayTee]

Im going through the same thing. I met this guy a few months back and hes an amazing man. He encourages me to do alot in my life since im younger than him. We meet up every week for lunch and dates and sometimes we head to his place where i stay the whole day and he sends me home. We have been having sex since the day we met and he did tell me that I make him feel like a man and he said he and his ex wife never had sex since his kids were born. He was married to her for nearly 10 years. He's been divorced for nearly 5 months now and i have been with him for 4 months. We even work together but I hardly see him as he also works for another company. He has his own place and but he heads to his exwife's place at nite and says its because of his daughters and he stays in a seperate room. Hes very close to them and I do ask how are they doing and recently i got them little things like badges and keychains, im trying to get him to introduce me to them and thought that me getting his daughters little things would start the process of meeting them. He went on a vacation with his daughters and i think his exwife followed him as well. we did have some nasty crazy sex after he came back but since then i havent been to his place at all. He said its cause one of his friends moved in with him since his friends wife kicked him out. Today he met me for our date and he was wearing his wedding ring. I know hes divorced and its futher confirmed by his good friend who also works with us. When i asked why he was wearing it is because of one of his daughters came in his room crying one day with it and he refused to wear it but because of her he wore it. Its bothering me alot that hes wearing that ring, i have this strange feeling that ex wife wants him back and i want him more. He cares about me and wants me to progress in life but i dont want to leave him at all. Just spending few hours with him over coffee or lunch makes me feel so close to him. Hes the first guy I ever felt so close with physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Im still annoyed about him not asking me over since august and him wearing his wedding ring!

Quite bluntly - he's lying to you.

It doesn't matter who wants him "back" the most - you or his ex. He's presumably an adult, able to make his own decisions. I never understand why 2 women and 1 man end up with the women fighting with each other and no one angry with the man.

He lives (or lived) alone, but you didn't spend the night?

He went on vacation and his "ex" followed?

I suspect he enjoys the attention of two feuding women. I very much doubt that the keychains (or whatever) you bought for his children actually reached them.

I think you were/are a booty call, and he's moved on.

Sorry, but this is a very old story, particularly the "my wife and I didn't have sex, aren't having sex" part.

[egreen88]

I met a man about a month ago and we really hit it off instantly. Now I didn't think I found the one or anything but I was really looking forward to how far we would go. He defiantly seemed like the 'perfect' man. He's an engineer, he has a really nice place (that I thought was just his), he is a great cook, he is charming, he intelligent, et cetera.
With me working full time and attending grad school and with him working full time we only see each other Saturdays during the day time, but during the remainder of the week we talk on the phone every chance we get and if we are not talking we are texting. The other night I mentioned that we should have a sleepover this upcoming weekend so we can have more time together. I don't like only getting a few hours with him than having to wait a whole 6 days to see him again. At this point his tone changed and he states that his ex-girlfriend (that too my knowledge supposedly ceased to have a place in his life the past 3 months) still stays with him from time to time because she is not financially able to live on her own-_- Than he goes on this long tangent about how he doesn't want to lose me, he never met a woman like me, he sees me as a future wife, blahh, blahhh, blahh, blahh, blahhhh, basically BS. At that moment my stomach cringed and I felt used and mislead.
I slept on it before I gave my feelings so I would say the wrong thing. When I woke up I talked to my two best friends to get their perspectives about the situation. While it sucks to have to lose someone that I thought was the 'perfect' man I decided to let it go. I told him that I wasn't feeling it and to give me a call when she moves out. There are too many men in this world for me to invest my feelings and time into someone that another woman is invested into. Furthermore, I don't feed into that were living together for some type of benefit. That just means that for a few hours on Saturday out of a 7 day week he gets the benefit of laying up with me, but 7 nights a week he is under the same roof as her. Oh and I’m not oblivious to the fact that there is still some bumping and grinding. I'm not giving him the benefit of 'having his cake and eating it too.'

... From woman to woman let it go