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jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 08:22 AM

I am studying for engineering first year. I didn't have confidence to talk to strangers. I am very silent in my classroom. I acquired low marks in class test papers. I don't know why but I can't face female students in my class room. I don't have any hard feeling towards girls but I won't look at their face. Everyday when I reach home from college I will try to make a feeling that I can be smart tomorrow. But when it is morning I will be just that old shy guy. I want to make friendship with female classmates but they ignore me because of my shy character.

Funniest fact is I can't talk English fluently towards my professors(I am an Indian). When my friends try to bully me my heart will beat hard so I can't respond in a right manner. One girl laughed when one of my friend said that I know to ride bikes. She didn't believe that. I didn't got hurt because I know that I drove bikes better than who boast that they are better than anybody.

I had a caring personality but nobody understands because I can't help others by first helping myself. What is the reason behind losing confidence, I don't know whether I am a good looking guy(although I do not have stunning handsome). I love a girl very much but I can't express my feelings how can I may be she didn't seen me since now( I love her honestly).

The real problem is I missed a lot of classes due to dengue fever and when I attend classes after a lot of leaves, I found that I cannot catch up with the class. I became a laughing matter among my friends. By the effect of fever I had severe headache. Because of headache I try to be lonely and I got punished by lab teachers. I got unnecessary imposition and punishments so I became to feel lonely.

I always lock my room in my home and simply sit there and idle away time. I missed a lot of classes and I don't know how to face teachers and friends. I am taking many leaves and my parents started complaining me a lot. I gone to college with interest in engineering, know I hate engineering more than anything. Everybody blames me, may be its my fault. I lost interest in my friends too.

Can you suggest a best tip to make me just go to my college as a robot or make me a smart guy with interest towards studies and friends? Is it my fault? Will I lose in my life? Am I worthy to be in this world? Can I succeed in my life? Please do not see this as a joke I wrote this because I can't understand life and my role in this world.

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 08:29 AM

I am sorry to hear about all these problems in your life.

Could you switch to something else in college, maybe psychology or something that might interest you for better study?

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 08:31 AM

But I think its too late. Its true that I like psycholgy

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 08:32 AM

I think its too late

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 08:33 AM

Why is it too late?

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 08:37 AM

Because I am in mid way on my course and my parents won't hear my words.
Thank you for your suggestion any way I will talk to my parents

joypulv · Nov 29, 2011, 08:37 AM

I am a woman who finds shyness very sweet. You sound like a good person, and that's all that matters.
I don't know anything about dengue fever, but if I were you I would research long term effects like the headaches. Doctors don't know everything about medicine, so look for some new theories and alternative treatments.
Maybe this is a stereotype I'm wrong about, but it seems that Indian parents like to have their children go into medicine or engineering or computer software almost exclusively, and maybe you need to find a more artistic side of yourself, writing or art or music or design. Yes, it's harder to make a living, so if your parents are paying for school, this may be difficult. You might do well by breaking away and apprenticing in a business instead.
As for women and the one you are in love with, you know the old saying: you won't know until you say HI to her! Say hi and smile for 2 or 3 weeks even, as you walk by, going in a different direction. She will give you little clues about her reaction, such as an extra big smile, or pausing in the hall, hoping to talk further. After a while say 'wasn't that a tough class' or 'do you like that professor' and eventually you can say 'your hair looks nice that way' or 'that's a pretty color on you.'
But your LIFE comes before love, so work on a different path first.
Sit down and think about what you want. You do have friends, which not all shy people have. Ask one of them what he thinks about all this.

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 08:46 AM

Psychology is very good for anyone in any career -- to understand how people think and why they act like they do. It will make you a superior businessman. Or you may wish to get a Ph.D. in psychology and help children or old people.

You can always finish engineering with a master's, but meanwhile add psychology classes to your study.

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 08:46 AM

This is the first time in my life someone had caring words on me thank you very much,
You are right life comes first. But can you suggest a best tip to avoid my shyness towards girls,

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 08:51 AM

You psychology is very good. But my career is controlled by my parents

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 08:52 AM

Tip on shyness with girls: Girls like to talk. Be a good listener. That's why the psychology idea is good for your personal life too. You will earn how to empathize -- "Oh, that sounds terrible. Tell me more" or "I hear you saying it was upsetting. How was it upsetting?" Girls love to be understood and prompted to give more details and be able to confide in someone who listens carefully.

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 08:54 AM

Explain how you will be such a good businessman or can be a psychologist with a thriving practice. Psychologists make a great deal of money if they are good at what they do.

And your engineering education will help you relate to many of your patients who come to you with work problems and home problems.

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 09:08 AM

Wondergirl,
I don't think I can handle two subjects at same time. Because our college is so strict. They didn't care student's health or emotional feelings. They want us to pass all exams. IF we took one leave that will become very messy. I am also getting weak due to long hrs(9 hrs) in college and their bad food in canteens. We have to be discipline(here,look into teachers mouth till she finishes her teaching)

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 09:20 AM

How much do you have left of engineering before you graduate?

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 09:24 AM

I had a great draw backs in my marks due to fever and lot of leaves due to hospital visits. Am I worthy to show happiness or to be charming in my classroom(because of low marks).

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 09:26 AM

Do yo u mean pre degree marks before I took engineering?

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 09:29 AM

I don't understand how degrees and levels of eduction are in India. How soon before you earn a degree?

Your parents do not understand the fever and how it has affected you?

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 09:31 AM

Oh I understood I had 4 and half years to be graduated

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2011, 09:32 AM

So you don't have much engineering yet, do you? You cannot switch? What about architect? My good friend from Pakistan is an architect.

jack.panchu · Nov 29, 2011, 09:59 AM

In my childhood my parents drag me to school even I suffer fever or any illness. Because they determined to make me somebody (I don't know who they want me to become). Anyway our education system is hard for people who have creative thinking. We have to be systematic. But now our government had added some new rules for the well being of students. In my time it is very hard to tackle. In my childhood I am good at biology,literature,and environmental science. I am average at physics,chemistry. I am very weak at maths.But we have to get pass mark in all subject for higher studies. Now on my engineering college there are a list of rules which really frustrates me. And my weakness in maths is making my life miserable
Only advantage is we will get little knowledge in all subjects
I started school when I am 4 in lkg next year ukg then it goes like 1,2,3... 12th(12th is the end of schooling).MY schooling started from 4 ended in 17.I got average marks in technical science and good marks in biology. I started my engineering when I am 18(now I am 18). I am silent and kind hearted till now.
IF we wants medical science we have to pass entrance which istoo tough and very hard to reach in rank list

Although I had a like towards environmental science. We cannot choose that subject alone. We have to pass certain tests for about 3 or 4 yrs to chose

Bye the way were are you from wondergirl