[CCBCCW]

My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost 10 months and he has yet to tell his ex about me... I asked him why hasn't he told his ex and he said that he didn't want to hurt there feelings. Then I brought up what about my feelings and I got no response. It's like I'm being hidden from his ex for some reason. What can I do to get him to tell his ex. It hurts my feelings do much and I have no idea what to do about it. :(

[talaniman]

What's the big deal about him and his ex? Do they still talk or something?

[mowzie91]

He shouldn't really be talking to his ex anyway in my opinion. What's in the past is best left in the past!

[jrsomello]

I agree with mowzie. In most serious relationships it is a known understanding that exes are Off Limits! Aside from the occasional "How ya been?" text. And the mere fact that he is hiding the fact that you two are in a relationship and cares less that it hurts you basically means that he's more concerened with his ex's feelings than yours. He should be focusing his energy on making you feel good, not lying to avoid his old girlfriend feeling bad

[Sam66]

You can remain friends with an ex I think, but 10 months is way too long to not tell. 4 months tops. I'm in the same situation. I've been with someone for 1 month, and one month before that he broke up with someone after 11 years, so that's 2 months since the breakup. He told me he liked me before he broke up with her. He said he wasn't breaking up with her for me, it was just that the last couple of years of the relationship were not good, and as we were friends he'd fallen for me, and knowing that I liked him, he told me before the opportunity passed. So I gave him a month to breathe after he went through with the breakup, then we hooked up properly and because we've been good friends for such a long time things have moved at a crazy speed. He is clearly crazy about me, and he's already in love/lust. He hasn't told the ex though, or any of his friends because he doesn't want her or her family to get hurt. After 11 years I would be hurt if my ex hooked up with someone in the first few months. If after 3 - 4 months I am still a secret I'm going to be extremely disappointed with him, and I will tell him so. Currently, I can't even post on his Facebook page or 'like' his pictures, or go to his band's concerts. I don't like it at all and he better understand how good I'm being about it. At the same time I understand, but there is a reasonable amount of time at which he needs to come out. I have not yet discussed how long he thinks this period is. I think we need to talk about it.
He lives 100 miles away and comes to my house for several days at a time, and is contacting me all day every day. I'm concerned about what the hell he is telling people he is up to. I don't like the idea of him lying and being good at it.

[manh2776]

If it bothers you so much tell her yourself though why does she need to know she is not dating him is she no you are