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mcboarder20 · Feb 8, 2007, 03:39 PM

Okay, so, I dated this girl for two years, and we were really in love. Then a few months ago we started getting further and further apart. She brought up the idea of a break, and I agreed, this of coarse meant a break up. So we broke up. I was at first for about a day or two, happy. Then it hit me and I became very depressed. I met another girl who is much prettier than my ex, much nicer, understands me better, and is just overall a much better girl. The problem is, my ex showed me no interest at all during the time we were both single, and the VERY day I ask this other girl out, my ex is ALL over me and it just goes to hell from there. Now I have been with this girl for five months and she is amazing, the problem is, my ex keeps playing these terrible games with me. My ex has a very sexual side to her and will come on to me, then push me away, and keep doing that. She says she has feelinsg for me, even though she dates guys all the time, and even hooked up with a guy the very same day she met him. Now she is just mean and heartless to me and makes me regret not having her, but also gives me no hope of ever getting back with her. She plays these stupid games and after this long I really just can't take it anymore. I just want to forget about her so I NEVER think of her again and so I can be happy with this new girl. Please someone help me. Give me advice on how to forget, how to get this girl off my mind. She is ALWAYS on my mind, I can't stop thinking about her. Who she is with, what she is doing with these guys, is she hooking up with them? What is she doing? It drives me CRAZY and it hurts like hell. It hurts so bad. I need to get her out of my head. I NEED to forget about her completely and forever. Please help me forget about her.

vanessas · Feb 8, 2007, 08:06 PM

Put your ex on the line.. tell her its all or nothing.. she either comes back together with you.. fair and square, or she should tell you its not going to happen and call it quits..
She ll either respect your strength and come back together with you, or else she will be called on her maybe-bluff and then tell you "no". And then you will have a clear answer either way, the games will stop (because she will know they have a serious repercussion of you calling her on them) and then with the clear answer, you will be able to close that chapter and move on..

Also, please note that women, like men, can have physical relations with other people and it not mean a thing. Concentrate on both of your feelings.. not what she is doing physically, as long as you are both not together, then its none of your business! How do you know about her sexual life anyway? Did she tell you? Then she is trying to make you jealous.. she probably hates that you have a new girlfriend because she like it when you were always available for her.. and now she is afraid you won't be...

If nothing else, then time will fix this.. if your feelings for someone new are strong enough, you'll get over this woman in no time! Good luck!

littleone01 · Feb 8, 2007, 09:24 PM

Dear Mcboarder20..

First of all.. I don't think I will quite answer your question.. but my ex and I have been in the same position as you..
I dated my ex for 4 years when finally we kind of distanced ourselves.. he was a pro-snowboarder and well I was a school nerd.. He was scared I would meet someone in school and I was scared he would meet a new girl on his snowboarding trips.. when finally our worst fears came true.. we broke up.. We dated other people on and off.. and like your ex.. I would constantly go back to my ex.. I even got pregnant from him.. ( it lost it but still )
I don't think it was a reason to hurt him or play games.. but more on the lines of.. no one I ever met compared to him.. I agree I played games with him.. and dated him on and off.. when finally he called it quits.. it was all or nothing..
Me being young and all I chose quits..
I have to say Mcboarder.. that.. until this day, I will and have regreted my decision.. I love him.. and I have never found a love like I once had..
Like I said.. I don't know what to say to you, to make this better... but please.. if ever.. even in 4 years from now.. she comes back.. give her a chance... because.. god.. if I only had that chance now... I know I ed up.. but.. still -xxxx-

Nosnosna · Feb 8, 2007, 09:41 PM

The most important thing here is you. To hell with the girls: if you're not happy, then you need a change. You don't want to hurt them, but hurting yourself is worse.

Decide what you want. The old girl, the new girl, neither... figure that part out. Then pass the information on to both of them. Cut off contact with whoever you don't want to date... shunt e-mails directly to the trash, block their calls, delete the contact info from your end. Let them know that you're doing it and why, since you care about them, and then stick with that resolution.

Yes, it's going to suck. For you, and at least one of the two girls. But if it doesn't suck now, it will suck more for all of you somewhere down the line.

talaniman · Feb 9, 2007, 08:00 AM

NO contact and stop being available to the ex. She does what she does because you let her. Do not call or email or text and when she call do not call back. The plan is simple and enjoy your new g/f. Time will heal the wounds so now you don't have to play the exes game. NO CONTACT for any reason.

Bluerose · Feb 9, 2007, 08:03 AM

"How do I get my ex out of my head?"

That's actually a lot easier than you think. But it will depend on whether you really want to get her out of your head. A lot of people say that but some don't actually mean it, and some simply enjoy being miserable and looking for sympathy.

So do you really want to get her out of your head and stop hurting?

If you do then get busy. Keeping busy is always good for helping us through difficult times. Deliberately replace every thought of her with a new thought. Refuse to get sucked into the 'guy who was dumped sad-sack scenario'. Watch lots of funny or scary movies, read lots of books - not love stories.

If I think of anything else I'll get back to you.

This will only work if you really want to move on. Don't wait for it to happen - make it happen!

valinors_sorrow · Feb 9, 2007, 08:04 AM

Nature abhors a vacuum so if you allow your mind to be empty, guess where its going?
So the solution is... you have a choice about what to fill it with, get busy... get vewy vewy busy! :p

Wildcat21 · Feb 9, 2007, 10:30 AM

Why are you even associating with this ex?? YOU cause this - not the ex. It's not the ex's fault - you make this happen.

YOU make this happen.

Tell her to get lost. She will and probably already has ruined your current relationship.

mckenzie134 · Apr 8, 2007, 03:05 AM

Whenshe contacts you tell her to get lost, yourve got a girl who's good looking fun snd likes you now forget theb ex and go out and have a great time before this girls works out you're a wimp and gives you the arse then you will be back on here moaning about her getting rid of you. You don't needthe ex she has stuffed you around . I've been in the same position you will be stuffed for a long time totally cut her off enjoy your new girl takeher out kee her excited and have a lot of fun... good luck.