[kristynn]

Question(s) for guys:

Is it that hard to approach a pretty girl?
Is it that hard to make that first move even though you're a confident guy?

[Nosnosna]

It all depends. A lot of us have a tendency to overthink... once we decide we want to do something, we start thinking about ways to approach the girl. Then we start thinking about reactions to the approach, and start getting paranoid about having not thought about it enough to figure out what the right approach is.

So yeah... if we think about what we're doing, it's hard. When we live in the impulse zone, it's easy.

[kristynn]

Why do some guys just keep on staring... yet not making a move?

I just need your opinion, guys :)

[chosen1]

Well girl... I when a girl looks at me and smiles like she wants to meet... I'll casually come introduce myself... lots of guys are scarred of getting shot down... they don't have any balz.. but you I think the better looking girls are a hair harder to come up to... what's the worst that can happen.. the girl is un-interested...

[Tony J]

I think that it is very hard to initiate conversation with an extremely attractive girl. I always try to use the chameleon effect to my advantage after starting a conversation as it is a good measure of how a person is reacting subconsciously to me through their body language. I would say that it is definitely harder to talk to a very attractive girl as opposed to a average or slightly above average girl. A guys confidence is something that is very subjective as everyone has different levels of confidence. I would say that we stare because of biological reasons. We want youy to see us stare and hope that you will give us some encouragement to initiate conversation.

[kristynn]

Thanks Tony.

Yet, what do you do if the girl seems to be shy to give you that encouragement to initiate a conversation?
What if she simply stares back? Just the way you stare at her...

[Tony J]

If you have someone in particular than why not talk him up? Maybe when you walk past them or any type of close contact you could offer a simple hello... it's not too difficult and you wouldn't be putting yourself out there. One thing I know about women is that they tend to smile a lot even when they are uncomfortable or repulsed by an individual so I think an offer of hello might clue them that they need to open their mouth. Remember, guys are kind of dumb. I always stick to the fact that we do not know unless you tell us. To infer is to error.

[kristynn]

Oh well, I'd feel stupid to say 'hello' to someone I don't know. Maybe because I can't anticipate their answer. If I would be sure they'll be really nice and answer, I wouldn't mind. In the case of a stranger, I don't know what to expect. :s

But you guys should take initiative and approach a girl and not wait to be approached by her! ;)

[Nosnosna]

Oh well, I'd feel stupid to say 'hello' to someone I don't know. Maybe because I can't anticipate their answer. If I would be sure they'll be really nice and answer, I wouldn't mind. In the case of a stranger, I don't know what to expect. :s

But you guys should approach a girl and not wait to be approached by her!

... that's EXACTLY the reason we don't always approach girls.

If you have trouble doing that, you can't reasonably expect us to not have trouble with it. There's nothing magical about being male that lets us know that stuff, no matter how much we pretend to know everything.

[kristynn]

Well, there are actually guys who don't mind and say "hello"...

However, I've seen even very confident guys unable to do so.

[Nosnosna]

There are girls who are described exactly the same way.

Which brings back my question: Why do you expect guys to be able to do something that you've just said you don't feel comfortable doing?

[kristynn]

I sometimes do. It depends on the person though.

But I think it's really cool when a guy is confident enough to be able to approach a girl. I personally appreciate that and I'm sure every girl does. I mean, in the case in which both show some (subtle) interest in each other...

[squackmaster]

When I was younger I had to be 1000% sure a girl I was going to approach liked me. Otherwise I would chicken out of talking to her. Now, I'd still be a little nervous but I can make the first move without being 100% sure of it.

[talaniman]

Interesting question. Back in the day eye contact was like a green light to initiate something, so initiate. Most females are as shy as the guys but you never know until you try. Okay so I've ben shot dowwn more times than I can count LOL, but you only live once, and I hate what if's.

[kristynn]

Just wondering...

Honestly, are you guys more shy around girls that you can see yourself in a relationship with?
Are you more confident around girls you just want to flirt with and who just want to flirt with you?

I'd be glad to hear what you have to say about this. :)

[Scleros]

For me, I can only be 100% confident if a) I am certain about the outcome or b) don't care about the outcome. If a normally confident guy becomes shy around you then you are especially important to him and Stammering Idiot Syndrome may have set in - the inability to think of something cool enough to say, especially if he doesn't have a lot of experience with women.

Think about the worst sad and humiliating experience in your life. Now pretend there's a really good chance you're going to feel that way if you say 'hello' to someone.

[mike_lock]

Yes! At least for me it is..
I guess my reason for being too chicken to approach a girl is that I'm scared of making a bad first impression.. she might not like me if my approach sucks. It's A LOT easier for me to make a move on a girl I already know..

[teddybearbigboy]

Question(s) for guys:

Is it that hard to approach a pretty girl?
Is it that hard to make that first move even though you're a confident guy?

Yes it is. Because you don't know what she is going to say.