[bella99]

It's been 3 months to the day that you broke up with me - and I hate feeling sad all of the time still. I'm not even sure why I feel sad, I just wish this never happened. I've been so focused on all of the stuff that I missed from our relationship, that today I'm going to try to focus on all of the stuff that I don't miss, or that I don't like.

For christmas, I got you cologne and amazing Eagles tickets - you got me rice krispees, pickles and an eagles Jersey - not really fair huh?

For Valentines day, you basically didn't remember and waited until that morning to go get my gifts (you said because you wanted to give me fresh flowers). Well you got me 2 dozen roses and a 14 pack of magic hat beer. Wow - what a thoughtful gift. You also didn't make reservations anywhere for us to eat, and didn't think of anything fun for us to do. So in the end I suggested sushi, and then we rented movies. This would have been a great idea, if only you had thought of it. I didn't buy you much, but I did replace the battery in your watch which was something you really wanted - it was thoughtful.

For March 14, I took you to baltimore, paid for a room, paid for a steak dinner, and had a great time. Talk about expensive! But I wanted to do it because I thought you were worth it. Maybe we should have just spent the night in the room, but I wanted to go out and have you meet a few of my friends while we were there. You repaid me by being pissy about being tired. Thanks!

I used to rub your back at night so you could fall asleep - yea you did that for me - maybe once - instead you would complain that I kept you up all ntie because I wanted to cuddle - thanks a lot.

I brought a grapefruit over to your house one day when we first started going out - I drew a picture on it, and I don't think you ever said thanks.

I brought you mcds to twin lakes and to thel ibrary when you were studying - did you ever do something nice like that for me?

when you were sick I had mandy bring you tylenol and juice and stuff because I was in California.

One day you were sick while I was in class, so I came over to sit with you- then I went out and bought you some supplies like OJ, applesauce.

I helped you with your resume that night after I took a 3 hour final. You texted me to come over after my final - I thought maybe you wanted to hang out and I was excited - I had a huge headache and all I wanted to do was relax - yep lets hang out - at the library and fix my resume for 2 hours. Oh thank you for telling me it looks awesome. You never helped me with anything. Not even putting my damn wind shield wipers on.

That day back in February where I specifically asked you to make plans for us for that night, basically because I was tired of doing everything and I wanted to see what you would plan - well yep - you planned to hang out with budd - never said anything to me. I called at 630 wondering what the plan was, and you said you were going to hang out with budd instead of me that night. You wonder why I was so upset?? Well - you never made any effort in our relationship to go out of the way for me - and that day I was looking forward to hanging out with you at night - that's the day you really broke my heart. Then I got sad - then of course budd is the one that got me to come over - you didn't do .

There were a few (very few) times where you went out of your way to do something special for me:

You had your sister pick up a world series champions shirt for me.
You bought me a rose for our 1 month anniversary - I wasn't feeling good and thouht I might note come over, but you begged me to come over - y didn't u just come see me at my house?
You randomly came over one night really late when I said I missed you. You might have been drunk.
You bought me a rose for some random reason - that was nice.

Maybe the only thing I ever wanted from you, was for you to show me that you cared. Go out of your way to do something small but special for me. Randomly give me a hug, come visit me, make me a special gift, anything would have been fine. Make plans for us - we didn't have to do anything expensive - just a walk somewhere or a trip. Whatever.

But no. Then you wondered why in the end I seemed needy? Well because you never appreciated me - you never showed that you needed me. I guess you don't. But good luck finding someone as nice as me, who would do almost anything to make sure you were happy.

You know I still miss you. I think I just miss having someone in my life that appreciates me (not that you did), someone I can talk to, someone I can just hang out with on nites hwen I'm bored, someone I can go out with. I can do that stuff with anyone though. I miss being able to hang out with my friends - our mutual friends. I hate the fact that they can all hang out with you and I cant.

Screw that - our friends can all han gout with me - and you cant. Why am I the martyr here? I didn't do anything wrong! Yea I'm obviously hurting more than you, so I'm in that stage where I would do anything to still hang out with you - but maybe I don't want to anymore. Maybe you should be begging to hang out with me. Oh Frank just stopped by with those preseason eagles tickets I bought back in March - I'm going to take someone else - maybe I'll take your friends.

You say you want to be friends with me - then ing treat me like it. I'm not begging to see you anymroe. I care but you don't.

I want to meet someone who will treat me with some respect. Appreciate me. Look forward to seeing me. Yea you might be good looking and funny, but your ungrateful.

[JAMMA25]

dear ex,

well, i see your life hasn't changed for the better since you split up with me. You said it yourself you haven't changed, still think you are 17, and take no responsibility for yourself or your future. I really doubt anyone will put up with what i did, and i think you lost a big part of your life when you lost me. I looked after you, supported you and was always there for you. So, you loved me but were not in love with me, we were too different, you said you changed into an a*****e near the end, you wanted a clean break but you wanted us to still be friends, you wanted me to still email you, - no wonder i was and still am a bit confused!! You never would speak about your problems in your life, you just let them all pile up, and would get angry. I was the top of your list ie i think you thought life would be easier/better without me, well is it?!

Wap : )

Omg! I think you just wrote my letter!

[octopush]

Dear ______.

I am writing this to let you know how I have been feeling since we parted at the end of March. I really feel I need to let you know how I am feeling and also about my thoughts and feelings regarding the future.

Firstly, as you know since you left I have had a lot of time to myself, a lot of time to stop and reflect on my thoughts and emotions about my life as a whole. I have, come to some very important realizations during this time which I would like to share with you. I have been doing a kind of 'self-evaluation' on myself, to attempt to look deep into myself, at to where perhaps I do display some negative qualities, and turning them around or, in some cases, removing them altogether.

I hold my hands up and say I have made mistakes. Some I really regret. However, I have come to truly recognise these characteristics now, which I can feel encouraged that I am recognising and changing them, something which perhaps I struggled with in that past. I feel I want to share with you these characteristics I have discovered about myself, and to tell you that I am becoming a much stronger person as a result.

First of all, something which I am really working on is attempting to look at things generally in a more positive light. I have been thinking a lot and focusing on banishing negative thoughts and feelings, to turn these round into positives. I guess, as you know, this has been a battle for some time, due to my life not perhaps being the smoothest of rides. However, this is something I am trying to get ways to help me to achieve this goal and I really believe if I keep a strong mindset on this it my hard work will pay off. I guess before whenever I might have been feeling down, I never properly focused on what I do have. I have such a great, supportive family and excellent friends, a great job and a great prospect in my studying of the Maths degree. Despite there being certain difficulties in my life, I am far, far better off than a majority of people, something that I am so grateful for. Furthermore, another strength I have developed is the belief that if things do get tough, I am developing a mental strength and a resilience to be able to get myself back to normal; strong and full.

In addition to this, I can now see that I have a lot more to be proud of than I actually allowed myself to realise before. Firstly, my Open University work. After starting so late and the huge back log of work I had to get through, I got my head down and worked through it receiving very encouraging results in the preparation assignments. Then onto the important assignments which go towards my end of course result only losing out on one mark in the whole assignment, something which I am very proud of. Even though it is early days in this module and very early in the bigger picture of the total degree, to achieve what I have so far despite the late start and the difficulties throughout, I feel uplifted by the hard work I have put in so far and the achievements up to now. I need to keep working hard and believe I can achieve by remembering how I worked through the hard times, which in the past I would have found myself freezing at the situation I was in.

Another thing I must feel proud about comes from one of the best things you did for me. I was stuck in a dead job until you notified me of the job that was advertised at _______. But it was not just that. You helped me apply; you believed I would get it. Your help with all that, including great help with preparation of my interview meant so much to me and I am sincerely grateful. I feel very proud to work back at the school, finally a rewarding job which I feel I could not have a better job at this time. Also, of course this is going to be valuable experience when I go on to teaching. I want to achieve all this for myself, as well as the ones I love as they will also see the benefit of my development. Thank you so much again for all you have done,_____. I will never, ever forget it.

With this time alone, I have realised I need to feel more comfortable and enjoy my own company more. This was something which I feel I always found difficult as I do not like the feeling of being lonely. But after thinking about this I have asked myself 'if I cannot enjoy my own company, how can others enjoy mine?' It was not easy being up in the flat on my own, but it gave me time to sort my head out, and re-focus on what I want to achieve.

I feel something I need to do more, and should have done in the past, is to accept positive feedback. Before, I felt I did not deserve it when I did receive these compliments; however I now intend to value and be grateful for every compliment that comes my way and savour the good feeling which comes with it. Another thing I am working on and intending to change is to not take things the wrong way. I admit that I have done before, both with you and Dad in particular. I am incredibly sorry about that _____, I really am. This is something I will change. I also feel I need to stop and think when upset and make sure I am thinking straight before I act or speak. This has been one my central thoughts, one of the things I really disliked. I guarantee I will do everything I can to change it.

Of course, one ongoing challenge of mine is my battle with M.S. Thinking about this now, I feel I have become too wrapped up in the 'what if's' rather than focus on what I want. I am trying to put my illness to the back of my mind, to make me feel like I am in control. I do believe I will be strong. I do believe I will be healthy for so long. I am doing the best thing possible by choosing to take Tysabri; another decision I should be proud of and another decision I should thank you for helping me to make. I have a lot of hope for my future with this illness. I know it may be a struggle at times, but I believe if I keep strong and positive in my mind, I will be strong and positive in my body. Also, I am considering the possibility of training to take part in a charity event for M.S. This would put my strength and mind to the test and is something I am considering doing, possibly in the next year or two.

Lastly, a few more things I have been thinking about. I want to make sure I look after myself physically by eating well, exercising and trying to feel good physically. I am also thinking about looking into the possibly of re-joining the Octopush club which would be great for me to keep active. I also feel I want to get back into taking more quality photographs and perhaps go back to making some videos. I feel perhaps I could do something with the photography to enable me to perhaps make gifts or enter competitions if any come up. Also, possibly start driving lessons in the summer holidays is another one of the things I am thinking about doing.

I really feel that I am trying so hard to change myself. I need to. I need to do this, not just for myself, but for the ones I truly care about. My feelings about the 'old' me are fond, but I really do realise now I was not who I want to be. Now I can look forward and put my work into everyday practice.

Understandably, throughout these last few weeks, I have been constantly engaged in thoughts regarding our relationship. When you left that day _____, I could never be able to put into words how upset I was. It was the worst day of my life without doubt. This is not meant to make you feel bad but I just want you to know how upset I am about our separation. When I think back to our relationship, I have so many incredible memories, ones I will never, ever forget. I had the best time of my life with you ____ and it is so hard now that it is no more. Of course, I am sure you feel upset too. I know how you feel as I really think we both realise that we were so special, so great and so unique.

With thinking about us these last few weeks I realise that I perhaps should have done some things differently. Upon thinking about it I realise there were things I did which I regret or things I should have perhaps done another way. Of course, it is a good thing that I realise my mistakes. However, I wish I had done sooner and had a deep think like I am doing now. I guess I didn't realise how much I wanted to change until I had the time to stop and re-assess. This is turning my focus forward now though, turning it to rectifying these traits I have picked up on and knowing not to let them affect myself or anyone else in the future.

I want to be honest with you _____ and let you know that I recognise I did make some mistakes during our time together of which I want to share with you. Firstly, something I feel I should have done more was to really focus on how lucky I was to have such an amazing girlfriend. When I felt down, for whatever reason, I really should have focused more on this and realised that this was the most important and that I could not dream of anyone better. I should have tried not to be down due to M.S, or work, or any other factors. I wish I could have been stronger for you. But I am now getting myself stronger and by thinking of that I have realised I should have been thinking the most important thing was to have you by my side, not getting worked up about things too easily. I also understand now that, like I said before, I should have believed in myself more when you gave me all the support and compliments you did. You have truly been an incredibly positive influence on my life.

Another aspect I regret after thinking this last while was I should not have made you feel bad about going out. To be fair to me I think I did improve a lot during the relationship with regards to this, but still think there was room for improvement. I should have been happier and more comfortable with your social life. Early on, perhaps I was stupidly put into a mindset of feeling 'second best' which was a ridiculous way to think. Like I said, this did improve but I feel I should have encouraged our time apart more and be happy at it. I realise the importance of time apart from each other, for us both to do our own things alone, with family or with friends. I wish I had encouraged more weekends away shopping for example, or for you to go down to Glasgow/Edinburgh for a weekend with friends. I would have liked to contribute to this, give you something to get away, to let your hair down and to treat yourself with your friends.

Furthermore, another thing I wish I did not do was get irritated and take things the wrong way. Perhaps, I needed to chill out more, especially if I was not feeling happy or under pressure for any reason not to take my feelings out on you. I feel I needed to stop and think and not get angry. I really regret doing that and also for making rash decisions and saying things I did not mean. I do feel these things would have changed if I had changed myself sooner _____, but I just want to let you know I am sorry for it all. It is in the past now and it will not be happening again. I am learning to keep control of my emotions and have been reading articles about how to control myself if I get that again. I want you to know you did not deserve that and it will not happen again.

I wish I had more time to have made things for you ______; like little surprises like I used to do. Of course, living together made it rather difficult to spend weeks making you a CD or a DVD without you becoming suspicious. As you understand, money was another issue as I didn't have as much money to spend as when we lived apart, hence why the shower of gifts became more of a drip. I would still like to think I was good to you in this way _____, I guess I just wish I had done more little surprises like going out for dinner or days out. I loved giving you spontaneous surprises; I got a lot of pleasure out of doing it and then giving it to you. I wish I had taken you on more holidays and weekends away to spend quality time together, something I would have been able to do after moving back to Dads, when I had a little more money at my disposal. I loved our days out together, our weekends away or our weeks away from home. They really meant a lot and I really miss them when I think about them.

As you know yourself _____, I always wanted you to be happy and still do. When you were down, I always tried my very best to lift your mood. Perhaps if I felt happier in myself I could have achieved this better, but I would still like to think I did help. I always supported you in your decisions as I am sure you are aware and I wish I had maybe helped you along with them. Like when you said you wanted to lose weight, I did offer that we exercise together, but maybe I could have looked out a diet to do together to help support you and show I was there. I really did not and do not think you do need to lose weight, but I would have still backed you all the way if you felt you would be happier doing it.

I do not want this to all be about regrets. I have been thinking these last few weeks about our relationship. The one thing I know is that I love you. There is nothing I have been more certain of in my life. When I am with you, I feel like the world is right and makes sense and yet there is nothing in the world but you and me. After this thinking _____, I really realise where I went wrong and what I can change. So I am asking you for a second chance. I know you have said you would not go back, but I really want you to think deeply about this with an open mind and really focus on all I am saying. I really believe we should give our relationship another go. I am worried that you would feel it is a risk to try again. I really, strongly believe it will work after having this time apart and after this time to stop and reflect. It has also given me chance to think what I would do and that is something I want to share and promise to you.

If I was fortunate enough to have you back in my life as my girlfriend _____, I would become the happiest person on this planet, I really would. I really want to show you I am so much better than the 'old' me and you will love me more for my change, you truly will. In this time since we have been apart, a lot has changed about me. I really believe I am a better person now and I am continuing to work hard on developing my character, something which I hope you like already, but something which will continue to blossom and develop. I can promise you I have changed _____and you really will love my change. It will benefit us so much and make us move forward stronger than ever. I really do strongly believe this. I will do everything in my power to make you happy, as that really does mean the world to me. I used to love it when I could see how happy I made you every day and I really want to see this and cherish it once more.

I really believe that our living arrangements will work very well for us both. Living apart will give us both chance to do different things. It will give us time and space to do things apart whether it be with friends, family or on our own. As a result of this, the feeling when we did see each other would be even more special as when we used to visit each other as we both know how great and special that was. I feel living apart can be great opportunity to start a fresh. Also, I would not want to make you feel pressure to see me or do anything you did not want. I understand more now that we both need space and with our living arrangements being as they are, I really think it can be very beneficial to our relationship. When we do see each other it would be amazing and I believe we would continue the great, positive, fun, good humoured meetings we have had recently.

Personally I feel I have realised more so in these last few weeks how much I really love spending time with you. With not seeing each other a lot, I have learnt to savour every moment I have when I do spend time with you and vow to continue this and always make this feel special. I would make sure I savour every moment. I would be so lucky to have you as my girlfriend again and I would do everything to make this relationship strong, both for the present and for the future. I feel I always showed you how I felt about you _____, and I loved telling you how I felt and seeing how you felt when I did. You have done so much for me and I could never thank you enough. Having this time apart has really made me see that this would work so well. I truly believe after all my time thinking about my feelings and yours I really realise what this can become.

I will not let outside influences come between us. All that has happened with my mum has hurt us both. I will never let her come between us again. As we know she did by going behind my back by what she did. It will not happen again ______. Trust me. I will never let her hurt you and never let her come between the only two people in the relationship – You and I. Not her. I will not let anything like that happen again. It hurts so bad what she has done, and even more at how hurt you have become over it. I want you to trust me that it will never happen again. I want to be given the chance to show you that you matter more than anyone.

Another aspect I would be keen to develop in our relationship would be to do things or organise things with your family. For example, taking _____ to Landmark, or perhaps taking both ____ and ____ out for a day somewhere. I know how _____ must feel and I really feel sorry for him so I would like to do something to try and help him and, of course, _____ in the process. I would like to do things like contribute for you to do something with ____, whether it be you and I, or encourage and chip in for you and ____ to do something together without me. I would really like to do this ____ as I know how much _____ means to you, and me for that matter, so it would be something I would love to get a chance to do.

As well as doing this, also taking you out more to your favourite places or out for dinner at places you like or go to gigs or shows you like, generally treating you to the things you love as I know that would be special to you, and as a result special to me. Furthermore, I would also love to go away more on days out, weekends away and holidays. I would love to have more special times away like we had in Skye, Durham, Liverpool and Barcelona. They were so special to me _____ and I hope you feel that too when you think back to all those great times. I want to go away more to relax and unwind together, for example, 'a week by the pool' relaxing is one of the things I remember you saying you would like to do. I would want to do that and treat you to what you like. I would like to take you away as a last minute surprise perhaps as you know how much I used to love surprising you.

On top if this, something which I would be very keen to do would be do save up enough money to go to Australia together. This is something I would be very keen to try and do. I would love to meet your family out there and I know how much it would mean to you to have the chance to go back. I would love you to be able to introduce me, and spend time with your family and for you to show me around Melbourne. It would be our most amazing experience together; I just really want to do this. I just hope it will one day happen. It would be so special, a dream come true and something we would never, ever forget.

Another thing I would love to do if I got the opportunity would be to go on nights out together. I want to show you that my confidence is building and by doing this it would be a great help to me, and to us. I would like to go out together with some friends, or of course if you wanted to go out without me and just friends then I would encourage that also. I really do think that this would be great in our relationship. I know this is something you would like, as well as it being beneficial for me. I want to show you that I am really trying to make a better me, and I really hope you can see that.

I also want to try help you not worry about my future illness. I am doing the best thing possible by taking Tysabri and I have a very positive belief that this will have a great effect on my future with MS. I feel if I keep a strong, positive outlook it will help us both as I feel we would both develop a similar attitude to it. I think we are both very pleased at the advances in the treatments, and of course, my decision by taking Tysabri. I want you not to worry about the future regarding this ____. I really believe I will be strong.

I promise to always be there for you whenever you need me. This is something I always have done, but I just want to re-iterate this point. I would do anything for you, _____. I promise to always do everything in my power to help if you need it. However, I also realise that giving you space is important too. I have realised a lot recently about the importance of this.

I want to be given the chance to prove to you I am everything you could ever want. I really believe I have a lot to offer you and truly and strongly believe this relationship will be great again. I feel with this time apart we can both realise how happy we can be; now we have had time to reflect. Personally, I think if we got back together this time apart will have been a good thing as personally it has made me see things I never saw before. I truly realise now how special we were together and how I feel there is too much to let go. I really want you to fall in love with the ___ you know and first knew, but now a much improved one in many, many ways. I really want you to think deeply back to all the special moments we shared together and how you felt during those moments. We really had so many unbelievable times together _____ and I feel it is important to reflect and realise how unique our relationship is. I really believe that things would be even more special if we tried again.

I really want you to see what we can achieve together. This may sound like a dream but things can be perfect. We can both have everything we could ever want in life on top of our solid foundations of great families, great friends and great jobs. I feel we can also have a great partner to share out lives with in the future. I want to stress that this is not false hope in believing it 'might' work – I wholeheartedly believe it.

I would like you to think back to our some of our very first meetings _____. The one that properly springs to my mind as being particularly special and touching was the party at ____ back in December 2008. That night was probably the first ever time I had ever had a proper conversation with you and a moment I will never forget. I sat on that sofa with you that night, not feeling happy in myself due to several personal difficulties at the time, and at that moment I felt like I have never felt before. I sat there chatting to you, not realising I was telling you everything about my deepest hurts, pouring my heart out to you about the difficult times I was fighting against. This is when I hardly knew you. It hit me half way through our conversation what I was doing. Usually the sort of character to keep things bottled up, I confided in you, believed in you and trusted you enough to feel completely comfortable with what I was doing. So comfortable it no longer was a struggle to speak about it. It was a strong, caring support that I am truly grateful for. I didn't care that people were making a fuss about us being through chatting, I just wanted to find out about you and genuinely feel interested in. Nothing else mattered; I was so taken aback by how I could confide in you that, as you know, we chatted for hours.

I remember vividly going home that night and lying in bed thinking about you and how special our discussion was that evening. It truly meant so much to me. I trusted you that night like I never have trusted anyone before. I found you so easy to talk to, so genuine and touchingly caring. I still feel this. I still feel you understand me and can see what I am about.

I also want you to think back to the very first night I came up to your house when your mum and dad were on holiday. It felt so good from that night onwards, such an incredible feeling of love and care towards each other. Every night I came up I felt so happy and so comfortable being with you – everything just felt so right. Think back to those times _____, when we used to sit side by side and watch Gavin and Stacey and then chat and chat until late. I remember when I brought up a gift for you; the Cool Runnings DVD and Soulwax album. The feeling of genuine appreciation meant so much and the hug to go with it was just wonderful. It was perfect, I felt amazing how just those nights watching a DVD could be so special. Then of course the incredible night of our first kiss, on your bed after another great night watching the DVD. It was the best feeling ever when our lips touched, and every single time since then. I remember the looks on our faces, I felt so in love. Think of all those times we shared that special intimate connection _____ in so many ways. It really feels so special and unique.

Give me a chance _____. Let me prove to you that I am the person for you. I can be everything you ever dreamed of. You know how happy and loved I used to make you feel, I will make sure this time I really focus on your happiness everyday and make sure you feel loved and cared for everyday.

I want you to think about how special it was when I came down to Glasgow for the week when everything was so new, fresh and exciting. Remember and feel the emotions of excitement when I stepped off the train, the anticipation when I jogged down the platform, the joyful look on my face, and through the barrier and into your arms. I could not ever describe to you how amazing that felt, I really could not, it was that unique – so unique as it was us. Remember the whole week, personally, the greatest week of my life. Really focus on the emotions from that meeting at the station, the deep chats on the trains, the great time in Liverpool, the laughs, the smiles, the affection, the love all crammed into that perfect week. I really believe there is so much potential for many more weeks like that, I really do.

I want to be everything you could ever want, the great past me, and the much improved, more mature, more understanding new me. Living arrangements, friends time, family time – we can make sure they work, I know they can, I have thought long and hard about these topics and it will be strong in our future. I just genuinely, strongly believe there is far too much here to let this go. I really want you to take time to reflect all the way back to our first moments together and focus on every little bit of your happy moments with me. For example: our trips away – how brilliant they were, they were always so special to me, and I am sure to you to. In those trips we shared some amazing times which I really want you to think back to _____. Also, our times closer to home, remember the emotions, the closeness, the love. Think back to the Christmas' and birthday's together, the excitement and love at spending those special times together and seeing each other enjoy the gifts we shared.
I really do miss everything about you. I miss the little things; rubbing your feet, giving you massages and playing with your hair. When we hug or kiss, it shakes me all the way down to my bones, deep within my heart and soul. I even miss the things I did not like so much. If I could have you back doing things like caring for my back, it would be amazing. I want things like that again ____. I really do. It would mean everything.

More than ever now, I realise how special these times were. I cannot begin to describe how brilliant things would be again – trust me. I can really see a bright, strong future together. I think more and more of you every day, my feelings for you continue to intensify as you truly are the most incredible person I have ever met, and ever will meet, in my opinion. If I could ever be granted one wish ____, it would be to have you back. I honestly would love nothing more; I would be the happiest man alive and make you the happiest girl alive at the same time. I do not think I can describe how much I have thought everything through and have come to the point where I believe so strongly that we should be together. Trust me ____. I cannot describe how much I miss you. Everything I do reminds me of you and also really makes me realise how much I adore you _____. I honestly think you are beautiful. Truly beautiful.

I really think we have so much more to achieve together, I really think we are so special and so unique together, as one, as _____ and _____.

These past few weeks have been very difficult for me _____ (and I am sure for you also) but I have really tried to bring out a strength in me I guess I did not realise I had. I do not think I could ever describe how hard I have thought this all through. I have taken several long, hard, critical assessments on myself these past few weeks and I have immediately put my efforts into turning my negatives into very strong positives. I have been, am, and will be continuing to work on myself. I have and will continue to work at banishing what I do not like, and blossoming what I do. I really would do anything to have you back as my girlfriend. I have even more to offer you now than I did in the first place, that is a fact I really want you to grasp _____. Things would be even more special as we have both sampled life without the other, even if this may only have been a short time, and personally – nothing is the same without you. There are so many promises to make to you and I will hold them dear. I am becoming stronger and stronger every day after my self-evaluation, which I hope you can see. However, I really feel there is something missing. A vital missing piece. And that vital piece is you. They do say, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and I really can relate to that right now.

I still believe we are soul mates, _____.

My only hope is that you will give me a second chance to show you what I have learned from this. I cannot give up without trying, so I ask that you please give me another chance to show you. I know you need your space, and I want you to have it, I want you to feel free. Feel free to take your time and think on this, but understand that everything I have said is my true and honest feelings. I hope to hear from you when you are ready.

I love you.

_____

[Clough]

Oh, how I wish that Allheart was still around on the site!

[kutocer]

Dear

You are one of the most beautiful, kind and sensitive people I know, you are a gentle, kind and most important loving mother. Our girls are testament to your love and kindness. I am honoured to have had children with you and will forever cherish that.

I’m sorry for not being the person that you needed me to be, I cannot be angry with you for my faults. There is not a day that goes by that I don't have regrets over my mistakes but with those mistakes I've learned a truly valuable lesson. I’m sorry it has taken this for me to grow up and for me to better myself. You are the one person in my life that has made me a more open person and more able to express to my feelings.

I will miss the way you made me feel and even though I didn’t make you feel good about yourself with my actions you made me feel like a man on top of the world and I’m deeply sorry that I didn’t return the feelings. I will miss your accidental clumsiness’

You were the shining light in my life, the women that completed me as a person and while I never showed you that you was to me.

I don’t want to split up with you but can fully understand your need for space and I’m truly apologetic for letting my feelings and thoughts get the better of me and maybe ruining something that could have been a simple break where we found how much we really mean to each other and work on it one more time. I don’t want to fight with you I want to be with you, I want us to be a happier family and I am willing to do what ever it will take to make us happier.

If you decide that I’m no longer the man you want in your life then I accept your decision and I hope you can find happiness either on your own or with whoever it maybe. I do know that if you did get with someone else then they will have one of the best partners they could ever wish for and I hope he treats you better then I did.

I want to forget the bad parts of past and remember the good times that we had. The experience that we have both shared over the past 10 years has been the best of my life. You have taught me so much and I have learnt so much that I hope can be shared with you in the future, if that is not to be then I will be a better more open and honest man that which you have to be thanked for. You’ve shown me to be a more complete father, a more loving and understanding father. Without your teachings I would have been a much stricter father and would have more than likely been more like my father which you know I hate.

Thank you for being my best friend in the past 10 years, through all the lows we had many highs we had, for my daughters that mean the world to me. You will always be the women I truly love with all my heart and no other women will ever come close to you.

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything

Yours truly,

K (Stallion)

[sackings_pepsi]

Dear Ex,

Thanks for your encouragement going after me back then. I was amazed and freaked a little as well. When you stayed at my place when I am at work, when I came home you had my laundry and food done, I was feeling loved also feeling scared. But as time goes by, I got use to it, I started to giving in. I started to love you. At some point we were both loving each other the same amount. However, after passing that point, you have changed. Maybe because we moved in too fast, maybe you have seen other stuff outside since you started working at this Tea place. Or maybe it is that guy who flirts with you on Facebook who took your heart away from me abit. Once I got more clingy and jealous, I pushed you away. Or did I? When you had argument with my mom, I was stupidly on your side, instead of keep my silent. Thank you for changing me into someone I don't recognize anymore, I stopped watching Independent films, I stopped watching Basketball. Because you don't like it and you think I love them more over you. I stopped eating stuff that you don't like. Who the hell I am right now? Idont know.. and thank you for taking away my friend, they were my friend first, they end up telling you I am not good enough, and breaking up with me was good?

Hope you the best,

Your EX

[sackings_pepsi]

Dear ______.

I am writing this to let you know how I have been feeling since we parted at the end of March. I really feel I need to let you know how I am feeling and also about my thoughts and feelings regarding the future.
.......................

I love you.

_____

Holy cow... pretty similar to my relationship. Especially mom got involved.

[octopush]

Holy cow ... pretty similar to my relationship. especially mom got involved.

I know mate, it sucks. I am giving this letter to her tomorrow. I just hope to god it works. I believe.

Wish me luck :)

[BWK10]

I thought I needed to write this, albeit quick... I feel better. I thought Id share it with you all.

Dear, ______________

Hey. I decided to formally write you this letter... to let you know how I feel, only eight days after you decided our relationship was no longer viable. Still, to this day... I am unaware to why you decided to cause me such heartache, frustration and anger towards you.. The evening you decided to text me, saying we needed to talk... I knew. I knew something had been wrong with you, for weeks. I tried to talk to you, countless times. We “knew” each other pretty good, on a drop of a dime you could tell something was wrong with me. Perhaps you were to naïve to think I knew you as well as you knew me. You grew distant, ignored me, and I tried to give you the space you needed to find yourself. I questioned you, and what was wrong and you got defensive.. I knew it had to either be the pregnancy scare we had, or you had changed your feelings about us.

I still find your ever longing excuses of what happened, what went wrong a total cop out. You never told me exactly what caused you to feel the way you did... ”its not you, its me” type deal doesn't fly... especially knowing you are already on the dating site we used to find one another. I hope you know, you lost somebody who fell in love with YOU... and not with how you looked, how much money you made, or how you acted. I generally loved you for who you were as a person, and how we'll we got along. I went far and beyond what somebody should for somebody else... I took care of you, and stayed by your side through everything we encountered as a couple. Most of which, would break other couples up and I stood their, by your side. It's a shame knowing you wouldn't do the same for me, after which I can recall four or five instances in which others would betray you, and leave you hanging in the dust? Perhaps I am too nice of a guy.

My family, my small family at that welcomed you into our home. My mother, who knew you for over five years, who knew you before I had even met you... who treated you as her own daughter. My brother, who helped you with your schooling. We opened up our home, treated you with dignity, respect and as if you and I were married. I hope you know, not only did you lose me... but you lost that second family you did have.

I was rather insulted, ONE day after we broke up you decided to contact me... and give me the false sense of hope. I can't deny it, a little piece of me was hoping I would hear from you and that you'd realize you made a huge mistake, letting go of somebody who fell in love with you. You had the nerve, to be as so kind to invite me to breakfast the next morning... and sit across from me, in a foul and bitter mood. Oh, and I could tell you cried moments before sitting down in front of me. I still can't believe how defensive, ignorant and insulting you were towards me after I treated you so good for so long. I was more appalled you had the nerve to ask me to be “just friends” so you could “talk to you about my problems” and I should “take what I can get”. I told you, I don't look at you as a friend... rather somebody who I am deeply in love with and being “just friends” with you is impossible. I am sorry this is such a deterrent for you, as you “can't remove you from my life entirely”. I won't be your fall back guy, I won't let you walk all over me... I've had that done before.

I do, wish you all the best in your future endeavors... and I hope you find love, and happiness in this world of uncertainty. I do not resent, hate you... I just can't be in your life as you want me to be... as friends. I hope you understand, it would be impossible to talk to you, see you, and be around you without that lust being present for me.

[lalala22]

I'm not sure if I could consider myself an ex; since we went on 6 dates... but YOU were the one saying that this seemed great, holding my hand, kissing me, sharing food and drinks with me.. I wasn't used to it.. but I was falling for you.. silly me... you would talk to me for hours at night and we'd text back and forth during the day and actually make definite plans.. SO I WASN'T stupid when you stopped responding suddenly, and didn't rush to see me or make definite plans for me.. I was surprised though when you said you didn't think we were a good match out of the blue, and deleted and blocked me from myspace... amazing, after you said you were sooooo different... yeah, this is why I have a hard time trusting people.. you're just the same... Go **** off... oh wait, you're pretending you're so christian... wouldn't want people to know..

[pandead]

I can't believe I missed this thread!!

Dear ex,

I have mixed feelings for you. Sometimes I wish you happiness and hope you will find someone you'll love like you loved me but never cheat on them, grow up to be a great person; sometimes I wish you'll be cheated on and treated badly by your next girlfriend.

I have mixed feelings for you, sometimes I'm scared you will get mad at me for breaking it off after you cheated on me 3 times and lied to me constantly, do something stupid to hurt me. Sometimes I silently wish you good luck for the rest of your life. Sometimes I think we will run into each other in a few years and just smile, everything will stay in the past and we will remember the good times.

You gave me the best present in the world by treating me so badly and making me change my life just to dump me afterwards. You showed me how much I can love, how much I do for a guy but the best of all, you showed me how I am capable of starting over and how strong I am.

So dear ex, I have mixed feelings, but none of them is even related to love. Hope you will find someone desperate enough to cope with all your selfishness and cheat on them a hundred times. Sincerely, panda.

[beachloverjohn]

I would like to add my two cents.

Dear Ex,
I hope you will be happy someday. You have had some tough breaks in life, and have come out of it a better person. I still love you and will always remember the wonderful times we had. We laughed all the time and looked out for each other. I know I was not perfect, so I couldn't really blame you for breaking up with me. It wasn't your fault that I couldn't give you the space you needed. I didn't mean to analyze everything you said and did. It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I guess I was born that way. I had a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG MOUUUUTH. That's all it was. I tried to not let everything bother me, but I couldn't help it. I became too sensitive about everything. I was a big PAIN IN THE RUMP. I was lucky to have you in my life, and I blew it. I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. Because I never knew when to shut up.. I had a BIIIIIIIIIIG MOOOOOOOUTH.

Well I certainly feel so much better now..

[VixenVelour]

To Whom it May Concern:

I am addressing this in the above manner because I don't know you. You can't be my ex because you are not the man I was with, not the person I knew and loved. You are a sad selfish excuse of a man so, please, let me start over.

Dearest **** Waffle:

There, that's better. More appropriate. Who do you think you are? What gave you the right to do what you did? I offered you everything even after you pulled this bull****. You know, for how I reacted you'd think I must condemn a polyamorus life style, it's not for me but I don't condemn it. What I do condemn is you... for telling me that we were in one months after you decided it on your own. What I do condemn is your cowardice for not telling me that there was another woman in the relationship until I asked about a couples vacation:

"I don't know I'd have to ask, *Lissa." you said.

"Who the f**k is Lissa?: I replied.

Surely you remember that exchange, that was when you told me of this arrangement I had neither been consulted on nor agreed to. That was when I offered you the world, just like I always had. I offered you an open relationship, you declined. I offered you a break, you declined. I offered you the option of ****ing anyone you pleased just outside of the bounds of the relationship, you declined. You told me "I can't be a cheater but, I also can't live with just one woman for the rest of my life." I was shocked and hurt, did you notice the pain in my eyes? Did you care? I asked you what the engagement ring was for, if it meant anything and you said you loved me and wanted me to be the first, the one you legally married. If I recall properly, I handed it back to you and said "I don't have time for the *****-***-ness." Then you put the cherry on top of the hurt sundae and questioned how I could be so selfish.

How could I be so selfish? How could you? I offered viable options, and when none of them fit what you want and what you needed I gave you freedom to have those things and you think I was selfish? I have news for you oh dear TW, having your own wants and desires is not selfish. I am a woman who deserves love and happiness and who deserves to not have to compromise. You deserve what you have and I deserve what I have.

I replaced you, with a joy I haven't in a long time, I found a man to take your spot. He treats me with respect and love. He communicates, compromises, and shares. TW, he is everything you promised and failed to deliver and more. He doesn't push, and whine, and insist on his way. He doesn't have the warped perception of human interaction that you do. I love him more than I ever loved you. I know you replaced me too, you're still with Lissa and you love her, but I see you're unhappy with her. She gives you the relationship logistics you wanted but, not the emotions that generally come with a committed relationship. She gives you only what she wants to give and not all of herself. What are you thinking? You deserve this, a person who won't give... who won't share... won't compromise. It's karma for what you did to me, I think, but I feel bad for you. So let me give you some advice, TW...

I didn't have time for the *****-***-ness then and I don't now. So, stop leaving me messages and emails about how your relationship with Miss.Lissa hurts and is so hard. Either accept and love what you have or move on. After all, life is short, TW, who had time for *****-***-ness. I most certainly don't and neither should you. I think you should know, I forgive you for what you did to me, though I joke about it to this day but, I don't forgive you for giving up the man I knew... the man I loved... the man who was good... to become this **** waffle. I will never forgive you for replacing my fiancé. He was a man who could have had it all... not just your sad sorry little life. Man up, TW, and maybe get back to someone who doesn't have to wallow in unhappiness.

Cheers.

[pahlp]

Honey,
Your gone and I don't whether to smile or ****. Yes, you dumped me, but as I flush this chapter of my life down the toilet. Is it possible that you may afford me some closure on my journey?

Do you have any toilet paper?

[angelvamp]

Dear ex,
You've been hot and cold recently which confused me.you dumped me because you got jealous and I was stupid telling you what I shouldn't have. I know we hurt each other's feelings that time. You thought I did wrong but you never knew how loyal I was with you and how I didn't stop loving u. when were together, I really am so happy.I was about to move on till you came back.. I wish I could ask you if you still love me... why you give mixed signals.. are you sincere with me... its hard to come off desperate and lose you forever...

Kate

Its so hard to keep this feeling inside I love him so much but I'm scared... I really don't know what to do.. its so hard to pretend to be friends... its so hard to be tough..

[mallorygallegos]

He said it wasn't my fault that we split up. But I blame myself for it all... He was my best friend. My boyfriend. My love of my life. My cuddle monster. My goofball. My everything... And I threw it all away. I was just too insecure and jealous that he was giving a little attention to other girls but I should have just trusted him more and forgave him for the little mistakes. It's been five months and I feel like I'll honestly never love someone as much as I do him... Any guy I date doesn't even come close to the chemistry we had. I'm not even attracted to other guys as much as I am to him.. Every little flaw he had made me love him even more. I hate myself and probably always will... I've been thinking of moving far away maybe a few states over just to try getting over him. But I catch myself thinking, well if I move, then there's definitely no chance in ever falling in love again... Anyway, here's the letter I was so tempted to send him, but probably won't because I don't want to bug him and because I know it'll hurt even worse if he didn't say anything back.. I guess I'm afraid to hear what he would say back too..



Dear ex,
I'm sorry.. I wish I had been a better girlfriend. You were my everything and I didn't take the time to understand you better and what type of girl you wanted. I should have listened more. I shouldn't have put the problems on you.. I should have trusted you more. I should have forgiven you more. I should have cared with all my heart and never held back. It hurts so bad to know all the memories we once had together will slowly fade away.. Because those moments were the best times of my life. You were my best friend, and my the love of my life, and I've lost both.. The day we ended things I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I hated you, for a split second, I hated you with a passion. But that went away instantly because I could never not love you.. So then I hated myself. I hated myself for letting you go. I hated myself for not continuing to fight for you. A relationship lasts if both of you are willing not to give up, if both of you are willing to stand up and still try every time one of you or both of you fall. I shouldn't have lost hope when we had problems along the way.. I never stopped and realized how much you did for me and how much you put up with. I never stopped and noticed how you always listened to my problems. I failed to see that you were making so many changes for me and I didn't make any for you.. I could have eased off the jealousy. I could have put my differences aside with others and became friends with your friends. I could have gave you more space and alone time but let you know I was still thinking of you. I could have gave you time to miss me.. I should have never put the burden of my pains on you either.. I'm sorry. And I wanted to thank you for talking to me about it too, no one's ever really cared, or acted like they did.. I pushed you away towards the end because I was afraid I'd make you hate me too, the way I hated myself. I really wish I hadn't though. I wish I had tried being close friends. I should have just stopped and listened. We could have stayed friends and maybe when you were ready, we could have gave it another shot. I was terrified I may lose you to another.. I couldn't imagine seeing you with other girls and them getting to date the man I was in love with. But I was selfish and didn't want to try any other way of fixing things other than my own. I come across our pictures and stuff from different things we did and I get an instant knot in my throat and pain in my chest because it hurts to know I'll never be able to experience that again. I tried so many new things with you that I don't see myself doing with anyone else. Anyone I date I compare to you and what we had and can honestly say no one's came close. I don't do it on purpose it just happens. You were the only one I could be myself around and I had the best times with. I loved everything about you Your amazing personality, caring, sweet, goofy, loving, handsome, in shape, clumsy, sexy, ambitious, smooth, laid back, spontaneous, respectful, daring, compassionate, hilarious, sarcastic, a good listener, independent, intellegent... You were everything I ever wanted. I was comfortable around you, I felt like you were my other half. You accepted me for my past and looked forward to the future and you made me fall head over heels for you. But my own insecurities screwed everything up... You were everything I ever wanted in a man and I don't see myself ever falling in love again. I guess I was just writing this in hopes that getting this off my chest and letting you know how I felt may help heal a broken heart... I'm sorry...

[semiramis78]

Dear ex,

You were such a waste of time... 4 years, and how stupid I was to tolerate your behavior for so long!?

Now I woke up and I can decide by my brain and not my heart to eliminate you from my life!!

I used to dream of having a family together, but I found out you were not in my dream, it was a face look like you, made by me, but it was not really you!

Anyway, I hope someone does to you, what you did to me, I really wish it!

Unless you appologize and prove that you are changed, which I don't think you will.

No cheers, no regards

(broke up 6 days ago!)

[quartergirl]

Dear Ex,

I wish the image I had of you in my head wasn't so horribly shattered in reality :(