[Britthi90]

This is the situation. My boyfriend of 5 months received a text message from his ex fiancée (C). She asked him if he knew of any job openings because she and her girlfriend were behind on rent and risked getting evicted. He told me about this and asked me if I'd be mad if he loaned her money. I was hesitant about letting him do this for four reasons.

First, this is the girl who broke up with him, thus causing him to become suicidal, which made him have to take antidepressants for a year and who texted him back in July inquiring about the color of his underwear.

Second, I already told him that I didn't want him to talk to her because of the first reason.

Third, he doesn't have a job so the money would be coming out of my paycheck.

Fourth, he got a speeding ticket the week before for 350 dollars and didn't have a way to pay that. When I told him not to loan her any money and not to talk to her and brought up my reasons and my feelings, he told me that I was being immature and that this situation was bigger than my "little feelings". We argued about it and he threatened to break up with me over and over again until I agreed. While I was sympathetic to her situation, I didn't understand why she was contacting him for help.

Especially about job openings... when he offered to loan her money, she said that she needed it by that following Friday. If she had gotten a job, there's no way she would have gotten the money that she needed by then anyway. I didn't understand why she couldn't go to her parents or friends or something. But, originally, I offered to pay for his speeding ticket (which he said was my fault because I pissed him off which in turn caused him to speed which "fcked up" his record because he couldn't get more than 3 tickets in a year for his job which he also blames on me even though he got the other 2 before I met him) but his mom agreed to take care of that so he told me to let him borrow 100 dollars to give to her.

Well, when the subject of when he'd be paying me back came up, he got really angry and told me that I'm stingy with my money and that he was doing me a favor by only taking 100 dollars from me since I was originally supposed to be giving him 350. I just let it go and told him not to pay me back so as to avoid an argument. When the day came to take his ex the money, he told me that I couldn't go with him because it was a big deal for him and he didn't want me there.

We argued, and he told me that he was taking the money to her alone, he'd get me my money back that evening, and to go home after that (I went over to stay with him for the weekend). At first, I agreed but then after thinking about it I decided to protest because I was tired of doing what he says just to make him happy and quite frankly I just didn't trust him.

He locked his phone so that I couldn't see what they talk about and he constantly threatened to break up with me if I was against helping her. So, I told him that I was going and that was final and, if he didn't like it, then he could give me my money back, and we'd break up and I'd leave. He agreed to break up but still asked me for the money so that he could give it to her. I told him that he couldn't break up with me and still take money from me so he changed his mind about the break up and reluctantly took me with him.

The next day, he told me that he told his ex that I was being all dramatic about going with him and she asked about my age (I'm 18 he's 22) and, once he told her, she replied "That explains it," meaning that I'm being immature.

What do you think? Was I being immature about this situation?

[Kahani Punjab]

Britthi90,

Welcome to this beautiful site first!

No, you are not being immature. Anything else?

[friend4u178]

He's the immature one , and is using you.

If I were you I'd be dumping his a55 before he threatens to do it again , it seems that's his method if you don't do things to appease him.

Do you really want to live with that for the rest of your life? Because it ain't going to change.