[Blindsided]

First of all, thanks to the users of this site that replied to my previous posts a while ago. Also, thanks for all of the people asking questions, it seems we all deal with very similar feelings/emotions/questions.

Anyway. I have been seeing a gal for almost 2 months. Not boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but we enjoy each others company and I have hung out with her family multiple times. Last night, I confronted her about plans she made with me and then casually broke the next day. We were supposed to see each other (as she planned), and then the next day she texted me to invite me to meet her and her girlfriend for dinner at the same time she had made plans with me. I just told her that I wasn't going to meet her and her friend when she asked; but later that night when I met up with her I asked her why did she just schedule new plans over ours.

She got defensive, and the whole time I was trying to ask why, she would just say "this is ridiculous". I've known this girl on more of an college acquaintance since 2004, but lately more of an intimate "girlfriend" for the past couple of months (if that helps). Anyway, she won't respond to the texts I've sent or the phonecall/voicemail I've left (the argument happened last night).

I just don't know if I screwed things up beyond repair; or if she's giving me the silent treatment?

Thanks again to anyone that provides insight.

[Charlie0x]

Well don't bug her about it. Don't act really obsessive or anything. Maybe there was something you could have said? You not have realized it but think hard, us girls get offended actually quite easily when it comes to fights with guys we like. She may have realized you two were getting more intimate and she didn't want that or didn't know what to do so she invited her friend to come along and then when you spoke to her about it she got flustered. There is a number of reasons she could have have gotten mad. I suggest you email or text her or leave a message on her phone one last time and tell her you are sorry for how you acted last night and you won't pressure her to get in contact with you but as soon as she's ready that would be great and that you miss her. That way she feels needed and wanted and she will eventually come around. But an apology and some obviously much needed space I think would be best.

[Cat1864]

What is your definition of 'confront'?

For myself, it usually means one person getting his/her thoughts and feelings out while the other person 'listens.' In many cases it is the prelude to an argument.

Does she make it a habit of changing plans on you? If not, then she may have made an honest mistake or had something unexpected come up. Instead of saying no to meeting up with her friend, you could have gently reminded her of your previous plans and allowed her to explain then. It sounds like you may have allowed your disappointment to come to a boil before you talked to her and it may have caused things to be said or felt that haven't helped the situation.

If she has a habit of changing plans and you are tired of it, then perhaps the relationship isn't growing the way either of you wants and you both need to walk away.

I think you need to ask yourself what your expectations of this relationship are and why you got upset instead of showing patience and understanding. Why were you upset at the change in plans?

Stop trying to contact her. She knows where you are and how to get in touch with you. She may be angry and needing some cooling off time. She may be busy. Either way, your continuing to try to contact her is probably fanning the flames. Give her time to contact you.

[talaniman]

So you have latched onto another female fast and are having problems even faster. Not surprising. You made a small thing bigger than it needed to be so leave her alone to get her composure back, and talk calmly and listen.

For whatever reason you are pushing much to hard to soon into this. Be more flexible, less rigid in thinking and actions if she talks to you again.

Making a big deal over dinner plans is a bit much in my eyes.