[confused14]

Ok so I met this amazingly gorgeous guy over the weekend.. Our friends introduced us, later on in the evening we hit off a conversation and some innocent flirting... I then heard via the grape vine he is married with 2 kids, but he wasn?t wearing his ring. I immediately backed off and carried on doing my own thing the rest of the evening.

He then came back and started chatting to me.. That?s when I asked " where's your ring, I believe you married?" He then proceeded to tell me how he is separated and getting divorces. I then asked "how long have you been separated, since two minutes ago?" He told me its been a while and he's still living at home for the kids sake and looking for a flat to rent. I was very sceptical yet very attracted to him (but didn't?t make it obvious).

I Told him this is very awkward and walked away... His wing man for the night came and reassured me that he is getting divorced (but still I wasn?t sure if it would be right to proceed with the flirting etc)

I continued to talk to him and that?s when he came in for the kiss... I did turn my head and said I don't want to be that home wrecker! He again reassured me that I wasn?t! So yes I lost all self control and we ended up kissing! The rest of the evening he was very touchy feeling! But in a very discreet way - which I could understand ( I think!) I mean even being separated I guess you still have to be careful as people talk and blow things out of proportion.. But in saying that I'm not ignorant and thought - maybe he is lying?

We then headed out to another club where he was more comfortable to show some affection toward me in public! I ended up dropping him off at home (his family had gone away for the wkend, which was weird he hadn?t gone with which made me think maybe he is being sincere) I never went into his family home that would have been crossing the line in so many ways!

We made out a little in the car and he left... There were no numbers exchanged nothing (which I felt relieved about as I didn't?t really want to get into messy situation and was happy for it to be labelled a one night stand!) I did make a joke and said "call me when you divorced" (knowing very well that hecouldn?t happen because he didn't?t have my number, hence I made the joke!)

The next day he somehow got my number (which I was highly surprised about!) and we have been chatting very general, nothing that?s crossing any lines , but we really do have A LOT in common which makes it so hard due to the circumstances... But now he tells me he really wants to see me again... As much as I really want to I don?t know if its acceptable or not!

Im very well aware of the rebound thing, and it?s not healthy to enter another fling, relationship after a divorce... This is your time to find yourself again and play the field...

Gosh yet again I?m confused! My friends reassure me I haven?t done anything wrong as he is separated but I'm still feeling very guilty! I feel its more admin being single than in a relationship ARGH!

[QLP]

The fact he is still living with his family would make it a definite no for me. Maybe they are in the process of splitting up. Or maybe he was just taking advantage of the fact his wife and kids were away for the weekend. Maybe he is planning on moving out. Or maybe he is planning on getting a flat for extra activities.

The fact that you had to hear he was married on the grapevine and not directly from him makes me sceptical. Would he have told you otherwise? The fact his mate backed up his story doesn't reassure me greatly - could well be a double act they have honed I'm afraid.

I think your line, "call me when you divorced" was the best thing you did all evening. I would stick with that. You could always ask him how he feels about you checking the situation out with his wife...

[Jake2008]

There is so much to consider here. First the facts.

He is married. He has two children. He shares a home with his family. He is not out of the starting gate in finding his own independence, and taking care of his business.

All he can offer you right now is flattery, half baked plans, and absolutely nothing concrete.

I think there was a reason he was out at the bars in the first place- the wife and kids were away.

Anyone jumping into a relationship, while still married and not legally even separated, who has two children to consider above all else, is not ready to have a relationship. Period.

His behaviour is probably indicative of why he's on the outs with his wife in the first place- you are likely not the first woman he's hit on with the same story. And that is presuming he's on the outs with his wife- maybe she took off to get away from him for a few days.

He is not available. To mix it up with him, means compromising your principles, and also making life harder than it probably already is with his wife, and with his children.

You have already gone too far. It is never a good idea to entertain the idea of having, what would be in your case, an affair with a married man.

That he has already done what he has done, with you, while in the circumstances he's in, does not indicate a person, at least to me, with honourable intentions.

I would leave this one alone.

[talaniman]

I would be more concerned over your lack of control, and ignoring the common sense red flags waving all over the place, than being attracted to a married guy.

Where/How did he get your number? You don't know, so don't go, and no this is NOT acceptable to those with common sense.

Sorry to seem harsh, but you obviously are not thinking with your brain. I hope you start to ASAP!