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    loveher4eva's Avatar
    loveher4eva Posts: 77, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 13, 2011, 04:50 PM
    Do you ever stop hating your ex for what they did?
    Hello after a bad break up... girl friend cheated on me for years and lied and stole from me blah blah blah will I ever stop hating her for it? Also I know if I ever see the persons who she cheated on me with I am worried I will attack them out of pure rage because he knew I was with her when he was with her. I feel I can't move on till I physically hurt him badly it's a bad thought I know but I'm just saying it like it is.
    Please advise me.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Sep 13, 2011, 05:31 PM
    Once you see it wasn't all her fault, or all his fault, then you will see retaliating out of anger is a useless and dangerous thing for you to do.

    Going to jail, and catching a case over a female is... dumb, but I understand the feelings, just not the actions. And you will be even madder AT YOURSELF if you do something dumb.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #3

    Sep 14, 2011, 08:51 PM
    Have self respect & walk away instead.

    The best revenge is to roll, leave this all in the dust & don't do it again.

    "girl friend cheated on me for years and lied and stole from me blah blah blah"

    What? Do you want that again? Be glad she's doing that to someone else, not you.

    Don't blame her new boyfriend, if anything blame her, or better yet yourself.

    For giving a crap.

    loveher4eva's Avatar
    loveher4eva Posts: 77, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Sep 15, 2011, 02:27 AM
    Oh I definatley blame her don't worry about that and I really don't want her back but he is also to blame, he cheated on his girl whilst he was with mine and he new I was with her and he did not care. Your rite of course I should not care but I'm going to care because I obviously took the whole relationship more serious than she did. I am trying to move on no contact changed number and all that jazz but I can help it popping into my miin all the time that's my only problem now.
    Prusec's Avatar
    Prusec Posts: 10, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #5

    Sep 15, 2011, 06:23 AM
    I know how you feel. My first serious girlfriend cheated on me after we'd been together for a year and I was heartbroken. I was also very young. She had gone to University and met lots of interesting new people and decided to find out what it would be like to have sex one of them. She tried to break up with me but in a cowardly way, saying she wanted to be 'special friends' but of course I didn't want that, I wanted her. It was then that I learned she had been having sex with someone else. But as angry as I was at the time, I severed all contact from her and took about 6 months getting over it. Then I found someone new and didn't trouble myself to think about her because I had someone wonderful and new. Some years later I was at a mutual friends wedding and saw her for the first time in about 5 years. I had absolutely NO feelings for her whatsoever. That was the most wonderful part. I neither hated her, nor still loved. I just didn't care a jot! Eventually it WILL stop popping into your head. You'll get fed up of it, and as you aren't together anymore, it's not relevant to your current life. You'll have a new girlfriend soon and then she'll take her rightful place in the 'irrelevant' section of your mind!
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
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    #6

    Sep 15, 2011, 07:01 AM
    It is understandable to want to attack this person but as Tal already said don't make a bad situation into a nightmare. You need a healthy way to let that rage out.

    Go to a gym or buy a heavy bag and some gloves and beat the hell out of that. It works I have always had a heavy bag in my house I beat the hell out of it until I can't swing anymore.

    Then eventually you will find someone new and never think about her and him again.
    loveher4eva's Avatar
    loveher4eva Posts: 77, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Sep 15, 2011, 08:35 AM
    Thanks for all your comments I guess the next worry is trying to find someone new lol but at the moment I'm looking to save a lot of my money which means I won't be going out as much which is a good thing for now I think, I'm only saving up till may next year by then I will be more ready to go out and meet new people
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Sep 15, 2011, 09:53 AM
    Go out, date, have some fun, just sitting at home blaming her and him for the way you feel is not going to make things any better.

    Next why do you care if you stop hating her. So you always hate her, You have no reason to have to talk to her ever again. But as you find someone new, and decide they are better than what you had, you may thank her and think of the "dude" as your best friend, since if not for him, you may have been stuck with that other girl

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