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    Vairah's Avatar
    Vairah Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 10, 2011, 12:46 AM
    Intercaste marriage
    Hi friends!I am having a love with a NAIDU person but I am not a naidu. I am in critical condition.our love came to known by their family and they pressured by lovable person to leave me by emotional tricks even he is a matured and in very good position.even they spoked me and requested not to contact him.He don't want to hurt our family members instead of that we shall get hurted, this was his decision. I tried to explain him but he is hurting himself.I want to make him to overcome about his scariness and get back together. Please help me..
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #2

    Sep 10, 2011, 01:55 AM
    He has chosen to go with his family's wishes, sorry. There is nothing you can do unless he misses you and changes his mind. Don't get all involved with the 'emotional tricks' because he still made the decision himself and has to see what is what by himself, without people pulling on him from 2 sides.

    I would force yourself to wait quietly. That is better than pressuring him while he is torn and confused. Tell him one last time that you will wait and then let go and wait. He may come back, he may not.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 10, 2011, 06:16 AM
    Vairah, you haven't said if your family knows and what their reaction is. Are they as opposed to your relationship as his family is? Do they agree with your choosing your own husband or are they expecting to have their say in choice?

    Have you truly thought about what the differences in your castes would mean when it comes to building a marriage and raising children?

    As hard as it seems, you need to abide by his wishes and let go. You need to live your own life without giving yourself false hope that he will be coming back. Go about your life as though he is not going to be in it. Enjoy time with your friends. Meet new people. Put energy into work/school. Stop putting energy into a relationship that isn't there. Give yourself a chance to heal.

    Put energy into doing things to move forward. Even if he does come back and his family changes their opinion, you will need to let the past go and build a new relationship. After this type of hurt, your relationship will not be the same as it was. The frustration, anger and hurt will leave scars which need to be healed before you even think about trying again.

    May everything work out for the best.

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