Check out some similar questions!

shrthlv3719 · Feb 2, 2007, 04:25 PM

I amd searching for my birth mother and I only have a little bit of information I was wondering if u could help me contact her

RubyPitbull · Feb 2, 2007, 05:16 PM

Shrth, I don't know if anyone on this messageboard actually does physical searches for people. I can suggest a few websites for you to look at and get you started on your search. You can ask for help on these sites. They deal with looking for birth parents all the time. Just doubleclick on them to be taken there.

Adoption Registry Connect

Adoption Search - How to Find Your Birth Parent or Child

Adoption Search: Search for Birth Mother, Adoptee, Birthmother, Child Placed for Adoption, Edna Gladney

Searching for Birthfamily and especially for adoptees who are looking for support for reunion, searching: International adopt...

I hope this helps. Good Luck!

Fr_Chuck · Feb 2, 2007, 06:41 PM

I would also add that make sure you are looking for the right reasons,

If you are adopted these are your parents and make sure that you are not going to hurt them by your searches.

RubyPitbull · Feb 2, 2007, 06:51 PM

Father Chuck has a good point.

Do you think it might hurt your adopted parents? If so, is this something that you think is truly necessary right now? If they won't be hurt by this, is it possible for you to have a discussion them? You might find that they are willing to help you more than you realize. That really would be the best place to start. And, even if they aren't and might be hurt by this, it would be nicer to let them know ahead of time before you find your birth mother.

Think about it, how would you feel if you adopted someone and suddenly the person that gave birth to your child shows up at your doorstep? It can be very hurtful and it shows them that you don't have any trust in them. Do you really want to cause that much upheaval in your life right now?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 2, 2007, 07:00 PM

Again I was guessing at adoptive parents, I do understand many people don't get adopted, and some are raised by one parent and don't know the other parent,

As a adopted person, I struggled with the demon of desire to do a search for my bio parents and finally did. But afterward I decided that my life is no better for it, and that who I really am was made and decided by the people who raised me.

RubyPitbull · Feb 2, 2007, 07:07 PM

As a adopted person, I struggled with the demon of desire to do a search for my bio parents and finally did. But afterward I decided that my life is no better for it, and that who I really am was made and decided by the people who raised me.

Father Chuck, that is a very insightful piece of information that I hope shrthtv considers if she/he is in the same position.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 2, 2007, 08:07 PM

There are some wonderful reunions between mother/father and child given up, I will not try and say it can not happen. But what you never see on TV are the ones that I often end up counseling. The ones where the people find their mother and she turned out to be a hooker, or she was raped and had tried to forget the child.
Or their mother is remarried, never told her new husband about it and cause them to divorce or worst.
When they go to find the lost parent, they get cursed, spit on and even have a restraining order put against them.

If they do search and find, they should always use a third party to do the contact and make sure it is done privately and that if the other party does not want to be found, that is respected.

But beyond the good and the bad are the average or normal meeting, it is two strangers, who don't know each other, they have nothing to talk about, and there is no bonding. Image just pick some stranger and sit down and expect some relationship.

Now of course the choice is yours, you can go though some various pay web sites and try some searches, it is always your right to do so, Just don't drop in on the person you find yourself, allow them the right to not see you if they perfer.

corriehac · Feb 2, 2007, 10:41 PM

I am glad you want to know about your past. Even if your real parents of parent don't want to know you at least you tried. And they know your OK. Good luck in your search.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 2, 2007, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by corriehac

I am glad you want to know about your past. Even if your real parents of parent dont want to know you at least you tried. and they know your ok. good luck in your search.

? Why are you glad, we do not know why she is looking, she has not responded back, we have no idea what she expects from this search and how it could effect her for the rest of her life on what she finds or don't find.

We can not care if she looks, but everyone should want the person to do so with a lot of forethought of what they want to find, and if they are ready for what they find.

corriehac · Feb 2, 2007, 11:21 PM

We must all look into are past, sometimes the past holds a key. Every child longs to know their birth mother , yes the ones who took care of you are your parents , but they are not the ones who gave you life. They do not hold all the answers you seek. Sometimes looking into the past can be painful. But it will make us stronger, for what lies ahead. God gave this child to a mother for what unknown reason she chose to give the greates gift of all life to another who may have not been able to to have such a gift on their own. I hope that she finds her birth mother, good or bad. Thing she will no longer have to wonder.

FeelSoNumbZombie · Feb 5, 2007, 02:01 PM

Please do not listen to negative people pertaining to your search, before, after or during the reunion process. Everyone that has biological parents should be entitled to there own information. Their own search. Their own find. Their own history. Their own past. Their own reunion. Or no reunion. And what you find may just help you in your future. Whether it good. Or bad or in between. You own all of it. It is all yours.
This is not the place to get the support you need. Go to an adoption support group on either egroups, yahoogroups and find one in the state you were born in. If you know. That is. Sometimes they don't even tell you what state you were born in. If you are an adult, you have every right to find out your information. Or even not to. It is your choice and no one else's. Also, tell the state officials, governor in your state that you area an adult now. And wish to be treated as one. If your state does not allow you to be an adult to make adult decisions for yourself and have access to your adult vital records.:D

lynnfarnham632002 · Dec 4, 2007, 10:50 AM

What information do you have now? I am looking for my two sons whom I gave upfor adoption years ago. One born in 1986 and one born 1984.

EveOutOfEden · Jan 17, 2008, 06:40 AM

I found my daughter last month through a company called givenright.com. They had actually found her back in November (just after her 18th birthday), but I wanted to be sure and go about contacting her in a way that wouldn't intimidate her or her adoptive parents, so my younger daughter (14) sent an x-mas card with a letter giving her our information and allowing her the opportunity to contact us if she wanted, otherwise we would leave her alone knowing that she has a good life. Fortunately, she contacted us and has a great online relationship with my younger daughter and I have even been conversing through email with her adoptive mother. I think it is okay to make contact as long as your expectations are realistic and you aren't being intrusive. After all, there are some birthmothers and adoptees out there that really don't want to be found. As long as they have the option of saying "go away" at least you know they are alive and well. At the least, you might come out of it with some medical information.

EveOutOfEden · Jan 17, 2008, 06:49 AM

By the way, y'all are a pretty scary bunch. If I had posted this question, I probably wouldn't come back after the first few replies either. How about a little support thrown in with all that "constructive criticism"?

lynnfarnham632002 · Jan 30, 2008, 09:38 AM

Hello, are you male or female? I am looking for my two boys. I gave them up in 1985 & 1987

EveOutOfEden · Jan 30, 2008, 05:24 PM

Lynn, I'm not sure if your question is directed to me or not, but here's my answer :) I am female and I put my daughter up for adoption in 1989.

FeelSoNumbZombie · Feb 23, 2008, 08:01 PM

Shr,
There is an adoption search and support group that you should check out. There are very supportive angels. I don't know their direct addy, forgot, but they are called:
Soaring Angels. Maybe put Soaring Angels in your browser and see what pops up? I know that they even do emergent searches due to medical and dna histories for adoptees. Assist you in contacting and/or guide you, etc. Also, most people start with ISRR. International Search Reunion Registry. All of this is free.
You will need a search angel to help and guide you in your search process. Many reunions who have a search angel to intervene in the communication process helps in such a delicate endeavor. Good Luck

FeelSoNumbZombie · Feb 23, 2008, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by shrthlv3719

I amd searching for my birth mother and i only have a little bit of information I was wondering if u could help me contact her

You can try making a blog about how you feel about your adoption. Like on myspace.com, facebook.com, etc. Or just put up a profile with your date of birth, adoptee searching for birthmother, etc. It may help you release your feelings about being adopted. Join a support group that will assist you in your journey.
corriehac, you are intuitive, caring, and must know "wonder".