[Help28]

Im going to try and lay this out as easy as possible.

I have a four year old daughter. I am not with her father we separated when she was one and a half years old. We got along fine when we separated and had no issues with access or child support.
Then about 6 months ago my daughter told me that her father touches her privates. She said that "daddy puts his fingers in my privates then smells them and says eww stinky" (like its some sort of game or something). And right after she said this, she said "but dont tell because I was not suppose to tell my "bad" secret". She seemed really worried. I did not know what to do so I called her father and told him what was said he replied by simply saying "she didn't say that" He did not sound concerned at all. After that I did not allow him to be alone with her at all! I then took her to Children's Aid my daughter spoke with the worker and told the worker what her dad does. The worker told me that she was convinced that it had happened and to completely cut off all contact and said that she would be contacting the police. The next day the Children's Aid Worker Spoke with my daughters father and called me afterwards and said that she didn't get the "creepy feeling" and that she would be closing the case and not pressing charges. (she did no further investigation) I couldn't believe it.

Now her father has served me with court papers and he wants her back unsupervised, overnight visits and everything. Because Children's Aid closed the file after the investigation (if you can even call it that) I am having a really hard time trying to convince the court that the visits need to be supervised. I have been told that I need a professional in issues like this to talk with my daughter and say that they believe something has happened. However it seems like everywhere that I call they say that they do not want to deal with a situation like this or they just refer me to someone else. If I can't find somewhere that will deal with a situtaion like this the court will give her back to her father for unsupervised visits, I can not let this happen I need to protect her, I completely believe what she is saying I do not feel like a 4 year old can make the things up that she says or even the actions.

Please if anyone knows of an organization or a therapist that can help please let me know..
I live in Ontario, Canada.

P.S I have tried calling Children's Aid back to see if they will investigate again and they say that they won't unless there has been another assault

Thanks

[J_9]

First let me say how sorry I am that this has happened to your precious child. Let me also say that I believe you. Why? Because children of this tender age do not know about vaginal odor.

I am also sorry that you are being treated in such manner.

Have you thought of taking her to a doctor or hospital? Here in the states if a mother takes her child to the hospital ER for suspected "rape" and exam is done and the child will be questioned. At that point the doctor is required to contact the authorities. Doctors are required to report suspected child abuse.

I hope I helped a little. I am sure you will get some GREAT answers here.

[J_9]

Hun, there are too many things in your post that make me believe you ARE telling the truth. There are many things you say here that a 4 year old does not understand, and should not know about.

I suggest making a doctor's appointment for a physical exam, that doctor also would be legally responsible (at least here in the U.S.) to report her as a victim of sexual abuse to the authorities. If nothing else I am sure there is a crisis intervention center or a sexual abuse crisis line that you can call in your area who can refer you further on how to handle this situation.

[katrina27]

Im going to try and lay this out as easy as possible.

I have a four year old daughter. I am not with her father we seperated when she was one and a half years old. We got along fine when we seperated and had no issues with access or child support.
Then about 6 months ago my daughter told me that her father touches her privates. She said that "daddy puts his fingers in my privates then smells them and says eww stinky" (like its some sort of game or something). And right after she said this, she said "but dont tell because I was not suppose to tell my "bad" secret". She seemed really worried. I did not know what to do so I called her father and told him what was said he replied by simply saying "she didn't say that" He did not sound concerned at all. After that I did not allow him to be alone with her at all! I then took her to Children's Aid my daughter spoke with the worker and told the worker what her dad does. The worker told me that she was convinced that it had happened and to completely cut off all contact and said that she would be contacting the police. The next day the Childrens Aid Worker Spoke with my daughters father and called me afterwards and said that she didn't get the "creepy feeling" and that she would be closing the case and not pressing charges. (she did no further investigation) I couldn't belive it.

Now her father has served me with court papers and he wants her back unsupervised, overnight visits and everything. Due to the fact that Children's Aid closed the file after the investigation (if you can even call it that) I am having a really hard time trying to convince the court that the visits need to be supervised. I have been told that I need a professional in issues like this to talk with my daughter and say that they belive something has happened. However it seems like everywhere that I call they say that they do not want to deal with a situation like this or they just refer me to someone else. If i can't find somewhere that will deal with a situtaion like this the court will give her back to her father for unsupervised visits, I can not let this happen I need to protect her, I completely belive what she is saying I do not feel like a 4 year old can make the things up that she says or even the actions.

Please if anyone knows of an organization or a therapist that can help please let me know..
I live in Ontario, Canada.

P.S i have tried calling Childrens Aid back to see if they will investigate again and they say that they wont unless there has been another assault

Thanks

Please if the courts decide to go with your husband, you must run away and never let him near her. You must trust your instinctsw. Bring your daughter to a reputable child pscychiatrist and get them tgo petition the court

[cdad]

Im not sure about Canadian law but is it possible to request the court to assign a therapist / investigator to you to allow the charges to be either confirmed or vindicated. Also at this point be very careful with what you say to your daughter about this matter. It had been proven you can mislead a child easily so you get the answers you want and not the truth of the matter. Do you have a lawyer / barrister / legal adviser for your case ? They may be able to guide you through the process. Good Luck.