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    HotHoneyVintage's Avatar
    HotHoneyVintage Posts: 231, Reputation: 6
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    #1

    Aug 30, 2011, 12:07 AM
    If you don't fit into society correctly is suicide acceptable then
    Hi,

    If someone considers themselves a misfit as far as society goes (socially, romantically, sexually, etc.) is suicide a viable & acceptable option then? Most people will say it is not because "think of the people you live behind" or "people have it worse than you" and all that other crap -- but really, when you are living YOUR life and have extreme difficulty functioning and fitting in with others, not sure why ending it all is NOT a legit choice? BTW, not referring to people who haven't ever tried to fit in or haven't tried counseling -- but those who feel they have exhausted their options. Thoughts? Opinions? Thanks.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Aug 30, 2011, 12:29 AM
    I would suggest to anyone who thinks they have exhausted all there options to go to a famiy support group for people who have being effected by a suicide in the family, the stark reality of 'all that crap' is quite enlightening.

    In my experience there is no original problem, someone has been through it before and lived to tell the tale.

    I have often wondered how bad it has to be to actually go through with the deed, how dark that place must be and I can only imagine the pain a person must be in, BUT, there are always other options.. ALWAYS.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Aug 30, 2011, 03:16 AM
    The world is slowly working it's way toward acceptable suicide. There are countries where it's legal, and there are states in the US where MDs have more options to assist those who are terminal (and many MDs do it anyway and take the risk). We are living so long now that many of us wonder, how long do we have to put up with life if we don't feel like it? My dad, sent to a care facility at 92 and pumped full of ridiculous drugs, came home in June, stopped all drugs, and died in 4 days. He not only got to be home but Medicare had a few more dollars to use on those who need it more. Yes, we are at that stage of deciding, because there isn't enough to keep everyone alive.
    As for misfits, I see no reason why that shouldn't be an option for them too - as long as they have passed the test of time, such as waiting a year after applying. I would even require something like 14 months, in case it's really just grief that has an anniversary. I would opt for it myself. I think of taking my dog to the vet to be put down and how easy it was to get the shot and hold him while he went to sleep in 3 seconds. I think of the movie, They Shoot Horses, Don't They? The problem is that we as a society have to be extremely careful about not only who is really just in solvable grief and who isn't, but also watching for those who are manipulating the lives of others.

    If people who have had enough of life aren't treated like there's something wrong with them, they will most likely feel better, ironically. I'm 64, and I'm finding more and more people my age who agree that we are pretty weary at the thought of a long life. There are sites just about this subject online too, but you have to find them yourself.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Aug 30, 2011, 07:08 AM
    Another problem: once you become an advocate for suicide 'rights' you also become a target. People will want to know why you are still alive.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #5

    Aug 30, 2011, 07:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by HotHoneyVintage View Post
    If you don't fit into society correctly is suicide acceptable then
    Hello Hot:

    Nahhh... "Fitting into society correctly", ISN'T something somebody needs to do to live a worthwhile life. In fact, I don't even know what that means. NOBODY fits "correctly". NOBODY!!

    excon
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Aug 30, 2011, 12:52 PM
    Is murder acceptable? If you don't like someone why can't you just kill them? Suicide is murder. The only difference, there's no one to charge with the crime.

    Most people will say it is not because "think of the people you live behind" or "people have it worse than you" and all that other crap
    My Uncle killed himself. His oldest daughter found him. She was a teenager at the time. That was over 30 years ago. To this day she still has to deal with "all that other crap". She's never forgiven him, and she suffers depression from it, and doesn't trust anyone. His pain is over, hers never will be.

    As a person who's seen what "that crap" can do to a family, I have to say, I hate my Uncle for what he did. I hate what he did to his 4 kids, his wife, his sisters, brothers, parents, nieces, nephews, friends. His act was one of utter selfishness.

    I wouldn't dismiss that "crap" as unimportant.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    Aug 30, 2011, 02:59 PM
    Now, can we please get back to the OP?

    If you want to discuss suicide, and your rights to it, then start a thread about it.

    The way I read this thread, the OP feels out of place, and is contemplating suicide. That's a cry for help, and one that should be addressed, not encouraged.

    This is a young person that is having issues. They're all issues that can be resolved. Suicide isn't the answer.

    If I read the OP's post incorrectly, and she does in fact want a discussion about suicide, and people's rights to commit suicide, then this thread should be in the discussion forum, and not the emotional wellbeing forum.

    Since it is in the emotional wellbeing forum, this is a cry for help, and should be treated as such.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #8

    Aug 30, 2011, 03:04 PM
    This is not a bebate, its not a for or against question, if it is it is in the wrong thread.

    joypulv, while your opinion is welcome the op is in need of help,not options on how suicide is acceptable, this is an emotional wellbeing thread.. wellbeing being the optimium word here... you will find nowhere on this site that suicide is acceptable, while you are entitled to your own opinion, I strongly advice on this occasion you keep your advice on the side of caution as the op may take the advice offered by you as suicide as acceptable.

    If you have an issue with this post I suggest you put it in writing to the owners and management of this site.

    Redhed 35.

    Expert emotional wellbeing.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #9

    Aug 30, 2011, 03:06 PM
    If someone considers themselves a misfit as far as society goes (socially, romantically, sexually, etc.) is suicide a viable & acceptable option then? Most people will say it is not because "think of the people you live behind" or "people have it worse than you" and all that other crap -- but really, when you are living YOUR life and have extreme difficulty functioning and fitting in with others, not sure why ending it all is NOT a legit choice? BTW, not referring to people who haven't ever tried to fit in or haven't tried counseling -- but those who feel they have exhausted their options. Thoughts? Opinions? Thanks.
    To the OP. I have to ask your age. Many times things that seem terrible, well, we grow out of them, or they aren't nearly as bad as we think they are. It all has to do with our age, our perception, etc.

    Have you tried counseling? Are you in school? What is it about yourself that you consider to be a "misfit"?
    albear's Avatar
    albear Posts: 1,594, Reputation: 222
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    #10

    Aug 30, 2011, 03:36 PM
    You've never exhausted all your options.

    If suicide seems like the only one that's left, then you need to step back and take another look.

    You can always do something to change the situation your in, you need to think about what that is for yourself though. People can suggest ways in which you might feel better but you need to decide what (if anything) you want to do to make things better.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #11

    Aug 30, 2011, 04:21 PM
    I have advised countless people here to explore all sorts of 'wellbeing' options, if you wish to sort through them. They were people in personal distress. I'll shut up so you don't get me kicked out. I don't think any of you understand how liberating it can be to know that you do not need to be treated as sick, hated, or selfish for having those feelings. And it would behoove people to do some research online on just how views are changing.

    I in fact had been in a group run by a licensed therapist who agreed on this topic.

    When I was 17, the debate over the pill was raging! Think how that has changed. Our mores change. Eskimos 'assisted' the elderly to their deaths. It's a harsh climate. Tahitians before the white man came required that a certain class of people kill their babies. It's a restricted space, an island. We now have overpopulation and finite resources. Just wait and see how mores change.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #12

    Aug 30, 2011, 04:32 PM
    Well now if you can find an eskimo in this site fair play to you, I have no power to get you 'kicked off' the site joypulv,

    As was stated this thread is not a debate, if you wish to discuss the topic please feel free in the appropriate place.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #13

    Aug 30, 2011, 04:38 PM
    Joy, your opinions are your own, and you have the right to express them, no one is against that. This is just not the place to do it. This is the emotional wellbeing forum. Here we don't discuss suicide, here we try to help people so that they don't resort to suicide. Do you not get that?

    If you want to discuss this issue then feel free to start a thread in the discussion forum. If you continue to spout your views on this thread I will report you. This is not the appropriate place for a debate.
    slapshot_oi's Avatar
    slapshot_oi Posts: 1,537, Reputation: 589
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    #14

    Aug 30, 2011, 04:45 PM
    The OP's question is asking for for thoughts and opinions, and nowhere in the OP's question did he/she admit that he/she was contemplating suicide. Sounds like the OP was looking for a debate, so joy isn't wrong by giving her opinion.

    If the thread is in the wrong board, then let's move it. Problem solved.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #15

    Aug 30, 2011, 05:10 PM
    OP is 31.
    I regret that I didn't read her other posts before my replies (although I don't think I did any harm) and now would like to reach out and say, keep trying to connect with people and life. I would suggest that you talk to your therapist about joining a group, which might help a lot with the discussion of touching fears and abuse. Not only is it more time per session (usually) but you also get to meet others who have similar problems, and some who have totally different problems, and you can help each other.

    To all the others: please accept my apologies about this particular thread and I will indeed keep my philosophy to a discussion board.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
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    #16

    Aug 30, 2011, 05:36 PM
    Joy, I think the main discussion here is that the OP wants to know if suicide is a viable option for being a social outcast, not in chronic pain or palliative care. Are you suggesting that any teen who has a hard time fitting into a new school for more than a year should be able to kill themselves? How many teens out there get over their depression and move on to living happy fulfilled lives? I know I was a teen and young adult who suffered from depression. At those times I did contemplate ending things. Many times. But after being able to have the correct chemical balance in me, I feel 100% different. I no longer need to medicate for depression or anxiety. I can't imagine what I would have missed out on or the pain I would have caused so many.

    This may irritate some of the other posters, but I too believe in human euthanasia for people who are in chronic pain, and know they are dying with no other options. I also believe a person has the choice for a DNR, but we are talking about potentially killing ones self because of a social awkwardness we ALL feel.

    Bear makes the best point, the OP needs to think about what he/she wants and can change in order to feel better.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #17

    Aug 30, 2011, 05:56 PM
    This may irritate some of the other posters, but I too believe in human euthanasia for people who are in chronic pain, and know they are dying with no other options. I also believe a person has the choice for a DNR, but we are talking about potentially killing ones self because of a social awkwardness we ALL feel.
    Doesn't irritate me at all. I feel the same way, and I've stated that many times on this site. When my mom found out she was terminal she told me that she wished she were a dog so that I could put her down. That still haunts me. If I could have done that for her, I would have.

    But, that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about a perfectly healthy young person that has no medical issues other then feeling like a misfit.

    The OP's question is asking for for thoughts and opinions, and nowhere in the OP's question did he/she admit that he/she was contemplating suicide. Sounds like the OP was looking for a debate, so joy isn't wrong by giving her opinion.
    Slapy, this clearly isn't the forum for a debate, especially a debate about suicide. When I read the OP's thread I went to her other posts and read, and that's what made me come to the conclusion that she's crying out for help. That and the forum that she put her post in.

    If it's a debate that the OP wanted then it should be moved to a more appropriate forum, and then yes, we should all feel free to debate it, no matter what our opinions. But, it's not in a discussion forum, it's in emotional wellbeing, and until the OP tells us that she's not contemplating suicide, and she does just want a debate, we have to treat this post as any other post in this forum, which is a person crying out for help.

    We do have to consider the forum this thread is in, and we also have to consider the fact that the OP placed the question here. There has to be a reason for that.
    Aurora_Bell's Avatar
    Aurora_Bell Posts: 4,193, Reputation: 822
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    #18

    Aug 30, 2011, 06:14 PM
    Yea, that's what I explained to Joy, the OP isn't a terminal patient, there needs to be a fine line with human euthanasia. Emotional and physical pain.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #19

    Aug 30, 2011, 07:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Eskimos 'assisted' the elderly to their deaths. It's a harsh climate. Tahitians before the white man came required that a certain class of people kill their babies. It's a restricted space, an island. We now have overpopulation and finite resources. Just wait and see how mores change.
    That's called genocide. Are you for that as well?

    Sorry, wrong topic, should belong in another discussion thread.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #20

    Aug 30, 2011, 08:15 PM
    I submitted a long, thoughtful post on the Philosophy board just now and it isn't THERE. I feel sick.
    (And I did address the genocide question as well as my whole thought on rights to our own bodies. It's going to fall on deaf ears and some gremlin is out to get me anyway.)

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