[preeteegurl]

Me and my fiancé have been together for 5 years. About a year into our relationship a female called me and told me that she had been in a three year relationship with him and that they had a child together. I was also pregnant at that time. Of course he denied her and the child but she wouldn't let go she constantly called and harassed me about his whereabouts , etc.

Eventually she ended up moving and literally drove herself crazy and has been admitted to two mental institutions. So about two months ago she contacted me and told me that she had been in constant contact with my fiancé and they were still having sex and they meet up in hotels and he sometimes comes to her house.

The thing with her is that each time she calls her story changes its one minute we just communicate because of the child and that's it and then the next minute its we're having sex and have been and I'm not going to stop.

She claims she didn't know about me even though we have been living together for 3 years and have 2 kids together. She says he calls from a private number so she has no way to contact him but he calls her on a daily basis.

He continues to tell me that he is not communication with her and that he has nothing to do with the child. This girl is like past crazy she has had him arrested several times, and she constantly calls his parent cursing them out because they will not acknowledge her child. She has had his lights and water cut off, busted the windows in his car keyed his car and actually ran into his car with her car.

The child is his because he pays child support. He will not deny him to me but he just says that he is not dealing with her but yet she is telling a different story.

I feel stuck in the middle, and don't know who to believe.


Edited/T

[phillysteakandcheese]

At the beginning of your story you said "...he denied her and the child.." and then by the end of your story you say "The child is his because he pays child support."

Was his initial denial to you a lie?

[preeteegurl]

Well at first he was like yes the child is mines and afterwards its I don't have anything to do with that. He doesn't deny him to me but he won't claim him either even though he pays child support. But he does have some sort of relationship with him because when I spoke to the child he could tell me things about him.

[Jake2008]

It's too bad that you didn't know that he had a son, and what sounds like a steady relationship with that child's mother- before you got pregnant yourself.

It is his responsibility as a man and a father to deal with the fact that there is a child of his in the picture with another woman. He will have to have some sort of relationship with that mother, for the sake of his son, whether he likes it or not.

You as well, have to expect that he is man enough to stick with you, and provide for the child the two of you have together. Be prepared to have a lot of doubts, and a lot of drama by the way things sound, with his ex girlfriend. We're talking a good 20 years they will will be tied to the hip over their son.

And you have doubts about whether their relationship is strictly about their child, and you have concerns about how stable this woman is. And it will probably get worse if at some point, your boyfriend decides that he wants visitation and his son will become a part of your family as well.

I hope for the sake of your future, and that of your child, that you proceed with caution, and maybe consider couples counselling for you and your boyfriend to help work through those relationship issues. There has to be a whole lot of truth out on the table before any of what you have described can be dealt with.

[talaniman]

They both are liars, and cheaters who are trying to get what they want. No doubt she is psycho, and maybe dangerous, but he is NOT all that innocent either.


Whether you like it or not, all three of you are tied together, no matter what comes next, so I highly suggest you proceed with caution, and trust yourself, and your own judgment, and common sense over any of these two.

You may be the only adult among the three of you.

[kcomissiong]

Ask yourself this... how did she get your phone number? The usual answer is out of his phone, while his pants were off. How would she even know about you if she didn't have SOME kind of relationship with him? She is nutty and he is an ABSOLUTE liar. Do you really want to live with this kind of crazy for the rest of your life. He hasn't stopped, and he isn't going to stop, and as long as you put up with it, she isn't going to stop telling you about it either.