[oliverette]

Help me. I need to stay in the job I am in until I finish college and move on to my new career. But I am having a horrible time getting along with the person I work with. I work at a medical office and we work together. I have felt she doesn't get the work done efficiently and therefore I have to pick up the slack. (others have felt this way also) BUt what really bugs me is she always is looking over my shoulder to find better ways of doing things than the way I have done them. (her way is the best way)She also has a tendency to make a simple chore a big complicated mess. We already have had an office meeting to try to clear the "tension" but it didn't help. And since the office is getting ready to sell their practice they are not going to do much in employee changes. I have gotten such a bad attitude about this that it makes me unhappy with myself for not dealing with it better. I think the new owners of the office will probably see me as the bad one since I am the one with the grudge. How can I get over this and move on?

[schuylervj]

You need to speak to her directly, and alone, just the tow For you. Be soft-spoken, calm and quiet, collected and tell her exactly what you wrote here and how you feel toward her. This takes it off your shoulders and puts the ball in her court. Explain that you have no intention of doing her work or allowing her to watch you do yours. Period. Take control of the situation; bullies always back down when they are busted. The softer your tone of voice, the harder she'll have to listen, plus, you remain in control of your emotions. I had to do the same thing at my last job.

[elina]

Oliverette, schuylervj has a good point. Talking one-on-one to her alone when she is in a good mood in a soft spoken manner that schuylervj suggests will allow her to be more receptive to your concerns. Avoid blaming her point blank, but slowly and kindly, edge your words toward the issue so she won' get defensive and block you out.

Or, if you are not comfortable discussing the issue with her alone and afraid it might backfire, have your immediate supervisor or her supervisor, manager and the director be present, also. Surely, your company must have some disciplinary action or role in place.

When you mentioned your office won't do much about it, well why not? It seems to me that this is just an important issue your superiors can not just simply ignore it. Either she gets her act together or stop doing her work for her, and let her be disciplined or written up.

[Tyesmoon]

I know I'm late in this, so maybe you don't need the advice, or you have already resolved your conflict. If not, here's what I say.

I think the first two approaches were a possibility, however I might suggest something different. If you go to her and start airing your complaints in an open forum, she will feel defensive... No one takes criticism, or ultimatums well... especially someone who already thinks she knows more then you do, whether it's true or not.
My approach would be this.
Go to her one on one, and just say nicely and calmy, with your angry emotions aside, that you feel theirs tension between the two of you, and that you aren't sure why or how it got to that point, but that you were wondering if she might be able to sit and openly and honestly talk with you about how you might be able to heal the rift and move on. Tell her that you may just have different personalities and different styles, but work should be as pleasant as possible, and that you are on the same team, so even if you never become best friends out of work, maybe you could work together to have a more satisfying and productive working relationship, and who knows where it could go from there. Point out something about her that you admire, or appreciate that she does, and swallow your pride, and find out why she does it that way. Or say that you really appreciate the ways she comes up with methods or ways of doing things and that you think the initiative is great, but suggest that when you have ideas, it might be a nice compromise to test each of them out, and make a final decision with all the people it effects. Approach the situation humbly. If she seems open to talking, then suggest a format that guarantee's you both get to say your peace without interruption... For instance, the pencil method. Decide who goes first, and that person holds the pencil and airs their concern, with emphasis on how what the other person is doing makes you feel, not on whether it is write or wrong. Use positive statements and speak in terms of yourself, not the other person... something like... Sometimes I feel as if you are watching over me while I work, and that makes me feel like you don't trust me to do a competent job, and that makes it difficult to feel comfortable doing my work while you are around.
Then hand the pencil to her, and see what she has to say in response.

This isn't easy, and it takes a lot of humility and swallowing of pride to do it in this way, but it is a very effective communication technique which has worked for me both in my home, in my office, and in just about every relationship in my life. Most of the time it isn't what you say or do, but how you say or do it.

[gurlfulofsmiles]

Hi, it’s a little past tense on saying this considering your problem may be tooken care of, but I have one opinion. I work at a workplace similar to yours. A job is a job, whether you like it or not it is paying your bills. You are not at your job to like and be social to the people you work with, you're there to do your job. Most business employers in that work force do little or have little interest in whether you like whom you're working with. As long as you do the job you were hired to do, you will still have a job. As far as fighting it out and having and keeping a grudge towards co workers, sure you could do it, but I'd bet you wouldn't be working there much longer. Just try to ignore it if possible. If you were to do something to punish a co workers actions then your employer would see it as if you don't need your job.

[Jahiem28]

Hi I know this post is old but someone else is having this same problem so here we go. Everyone has someone on there job that does not cut the job. That is something we have to deal with. Just don't allow yourself to have a attitude problem that will make your job performance change. I have worked on a few job that I ended up doing my job and half of the other person job. It so hard to find a group of workers that all perform on the same scale. Most mangaement is aware of this but if the person is willing to come to work everyday they are willing to deal with the lack of performance in exchange for attendance or positive quality of a person. Just keep your head up and with knowledge and wisdom you will discover ways that make your work environment a pleasure. GOOD LUCK TO ALL take care god bless