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    lala647's Avatar
    lala647 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 17, 2011, 08:01 AM
    Need Opinion Please!
    Recently I noticed that the guy I have been dating on and off for 4 years (we are together again) is no longer friends with his ex and her brother on Facebook. After that happened, he has been acting a bit distant with me, when I asked him if he is OK he said he just needs space, which I have been giving him because I don't want to make things worse. He's known her for 9 years, and the two times he went back to her it never worked out, but she was the one that dumped him, and then chased him all the time. Since he has been distant, its making me think if she was the one that deleted him to get his attention? Or maybe he finally had the energy to delete her? I need someone's opinion because I care for him, but at the same time I do not want to get hurt again? Is it good that she is no longer on his FB?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    Aug 17, 2011, 08:07 AM

    There's no way for us to find out what's really going on. But either way, regardless of who deleted who, he has a lot of baggage.

    Until he can sort things out in his mind, it's best to keep some distance from him. What you can do is let him know how you feel and leave the ball on his side of the court.
    0rphan's Avatar
    0rphan Posts: 1,282, Reputation: 240
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Aug 17, 2011, 01:08 PM
    Hi... I think you need to give him his space,if only to sort his head out.The more you go on at him asking this and that the more annoyed he will become,in the end this will probably lead to the two of you having some meaningless argument.
    Just tell him how much you care for him and that you'll give him some space for a while,let him know that your there for him if he wants to talk or even a shoulder to cry on,but for now you'll go away and wait for him to contact you.
    I know this will be really hard for you but if you want to keep him you have to let him breath a bit.I'm sure by leaving him alone for a while without any pressure he will come back to you and your relationship will be all the more stronger for it.That also means don't hassle him with constant text messages...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Aug 20, 2011, 09:21 AM
    I can see where you would be worried, as his relationship with her, is like yours with him, OFF, and ON.

    He asked for space, give him what he asked for. Maybe he realizes that he is finally through with her. I don't know, but I strongly advise you to focus on your relationship with him and leave the other one alone.

    You have enough concern to deal with YOUR off, and ON relationship, but it does seem to be a pattern here that you should pay careful attention to.

    OFF/ON for 4 years?? Come on what makes this time the miracle, FOREVER??

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