[xania]

Did they start contacting you after a period you didn't? I'm wondering if this really makes an ex start trying to talk to you and want you back because they miss you. A lady I know who has five daughters told me that used to happen to her girls each time they experienced a breakup, and it seems to be part of a strategy all these Internet "love gurus" talk about.
It seems effective, because if you don't get any "I miss you" type of calls, then at least you're well on your way to heal. I just want to know if it's actually helped someone re-start a relationship.

By the way, I'm 21, and he's 28. The breakup was rash and for reasons that can be easily fixed. I think the problem mainly lies with him, which is why I want to cool it for a month and avoid calling him or texting. He is scared of becoming too emotionally involved with someone, and has a hard time receiving love and affection. I'm his first real, normal relationship (just friends with benefits and infatuations well before me) and everything was great. There were a few little things, but there always are in relationships.

[ZoeMarie]

The reason for going no contact isn't just to get the person to talk to you. It's so you can take time for yourself and heal. It's the best way to get over a breakup. And probably, after trying it for a while, you'll realize that.

[I wish]

Check out this stick: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-590267.html

There's an article on the meaning of no contact.

We're not 100% sure those are the exact reasons he broke up with you. There could be other reasons that he didn't mention. The point is he wanted to break up and he no longer wanted to try to fix the problems, regardless of what the problems are.

If you really want him back, you can tell him how you feel and see what he says. But if he really wanted you back or wanted to make the relationship work, he wouldn't have broken up, he would be next to you trying to fix things.

[talaniman]

QUOTE by xania;
Did they start contacting you after a period you didn't? I'm wondering if this really makes an ex start trying to talk to you and want you back because they miss you.
Sometimes it makes them talk to you, especially if they get bored, or want you in the friend zone, and with no commitment. Just an option for something to do until they find something more interesting, or promising.
A lady I know who has five daughters told me that used to happen to her girls each time they experienced a breakup, and it seems to be part of a strategy all these Internet "love gurus" talk about.
No Contact is to give you time to get your feelings under control after a break up. So you can make good decisions and choices for yourself, based on FACTS, and not just FEELINGS
It seems effective, because if you don't get any "I miss you" type of calls, then at least you're well on your way to heal. I just want to know if it's actually helped someone re-start a relationship.
I think you mean a cooling off period. Good for disagreements and arguments, but a break up is a big red flag that things are seriously disconnected, or a game of manipulation. Doesn't matter, because if a partner rather dump you than work with you, you can bet you don't need them.
By the way, I'm 21, and he's 28. The breakup was rash and for reasons that can be easily fixed. I think the problem mainly lies with him, which is why I want to cool it for a month and avoid calling him or texting. He is scared of becoming too emotionally involved with someone, and has a hard time receiving love and affection. I'm his first real, normal relationship (just friends with benefits and infatuations well before me) and everything was great.
By all means, leave him alone since he is the one who wanted a break up. he dumped you, so why should you chase him to work things out. If he changes his mind, then its up to you to make the choice to try again, or leave this alone. Your boy however may have other motives, and expect you to be a willing participant for what he is use too. he still may not what what you want though. You better show caution and protect yourself if he does come back. Sometimes strong feelings of attraction doesn't mean they have the same feelings as you, and your ex obviously does not. That may not change in a month, or two, or never. everything seemed great to you, but for whatever reason, not for him.
There were a few little things, but there always are in relationships
Yes there is. Its always something and in a relationship, there must be TWO partners who are willing to work to keep things together, no matter what life throws at you. You can get all the "tricks" schemes, and advice from people and so called gurus, but it always comes down to whether a couple can work together. Most times one wants out, and the other wants to hold on. That seldom works out well. I mean if most married couples can't stay together, whats a less committed couple going to do? Especially when one just wants out, the reasons don't matter.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you want the person back, you crawl and beg and plead.

If you want to grow, mature, learn from the experience and move on with your life, ( which means that most likely you find someone new)

No contact is not used to get them back, it is used to help get over them and not want them back.

[xania]

Thanks, everyone. I'm reading a book called How to Survive the Loss of Love and am feeling slightly better. For some reason, I can't access the stickies. I'm not sure what to do to view them.

[RickJ]

Xania, click here and you will see the stickies on the relationship board.

[slapshot_oi]

To answer your question directly... every time I didn't reach out to an ex, they would reach out to me. And one time, I did bite and we dated again, and soon broke-up again.

Just know that you can't possibly have a stable relationship if it's built on top of a ruse.