[fun guy]

I am in a long distance relationship and the other night my GF was out I found out. I texted her probably 3 times at different times just to see how her day went. I never heard from her until 5 am saying how much she loves me and all the sun shines out my *** etc. I finally talk to her and she says she was at a party all day and gives weak argument that she fell asleep. I asked her a few questions and she answered a couple then got pissed and stopped. Says she loves me and that should be enough. The truth is I am the former booty call that she was cheating on her last BF with. I am a little concerned and don't really know if she can be trusted or not? When she drinks too much she gets very flirty and she passes out. I know because that's what happened to her and I.

[southamerica]

Well when did you start texting her? Maybe she WAS already asleep. Maybe she didn't look at her phone after a certain point because she was too drunk.

It's pretty unfair to not trust her due to her past actions, especially when you helped her partake in those actions? Has she ever cheated on YOU? If you can't trust her on the very premise of your relationship with her, then do both you and her a favor and break up with her.

She is human and has made mistakes in the past, but she has a right to prove herself trustworthy now. If you can't forgive her past mistake (which means that YOU were the mistake in the first place), then she'll never have a chance no matter how trustworthy she tries to be NOW.

If you want her to check in every X amount of hours, let her know that-then she can either respect that or disappoint you based on rules she knows exist.

[Cat1864]

If you don't trust her, why are you in a relationship with her?

Quite frankly, you have first hand knowledge of how trustworthy she is and that she has issues with her behavior when she drinks. Either you accept that she feels more strongly about you than she did her ex and behaves better or you stay insecure and question her every move because you don't trust her or the people she is around.

Do the two of you have set times for talking or do you expect her to always be available when you try contacting her? I ask because there is a big difference between staying in touch and checking up/keeping tabs on your girlfriend. If you aren't allowing her space because of your fear, then you may end up causing what you don't seem to want to happen-her walking away.

Do you sit by the phone waiting for her to contact you? Even if you were in the same location, you need to be able to trust each other enough to be able to go out with friends and have fun without each other.

Trust her or move on.

[vanheart]

I agree.

Trust is one of the basics.

With LD its hard. She isn't going to sit at home, nor should you.

"The truth is I am the former booty call that she was cheating on her last BF with"

Well, that isn't a great sign. But you are both in control of your actions, right?

At some point you guys need to come back down to earth & decide your futures.

And how long. What it is exactly you both have.

[talaniman]

Sorry guy, but I am having a BIG problem with what the heck could you be thinking trying to make a trustworthy, loyal girlfriend, out of a lying cheater. Maybe you are the one who needs to stop drinking or something because your actions don't make sense.

I sure wouldn't trust her with my booty, and I sure as heck wouldn't trust her with yours either. Just me though. I would be more protective of my booty.

[vanheart]

I hate lying cheaters