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    hleo's Avatar
    hleo Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 1, 2011, 01:00 AM
    Girlfriends male friend
    I am into a relationship since last 1 year,initially she use to devote total time to me but now as she is going for post graduation she is not having time thou she manages,in between the preparation for her entrance exam she made a friend who proposed in front of me during teleconferencing,I was furious and had a heated argument with him but my girlfriend interrupted and told him she is with me,now the problem is she is still in contact with that guy and his brother,I ask her to discontinue any connection with them but I don't know she is still in contact with them and do avoid my calls or keep me waiting when they are interacting on phone as this is long distance relationship phone is the only way to be connected with her,she says she love's me and will marry me,but I should not put any such bondage and bind her and she will continue to be in contact with that guys,what should I do??
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2011, 01:33 AM

    She sounds like an honest and independent girl, you should respect that, if you don't you will lose her, do as she asked and do not put a bind on her.

    She has reassured you that she will marry you, what more could you want.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 1, 2011, 11:19 AM

    I have to be honest guy, I have never cared about my girlfriends or Wife's male friends, why would you?? My wife's male friends are pretty cool actually.

    But I am a secure male, and she is a very loyal sincere female whom I trust without reservation. She is also still as fine as cat hair, and I am proud, but never jealous, or insecure.

    Either trust her to handle her business correctly, or leave her alone, but she won't stay with an insecure jealous fellow for long, I don't think.
    kcomissiong's Avatar
    kcomissiong Posts: 1,166, Reputation: 276
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    #4

    Aug 2, 2011, 07:10 AM
    She is also still as fine as cat hair
    You know, the world would be a little less bright without these answers to read!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 2, 2011, 07:29 AM

    It sounds like she has come to understand that she cannot devote 'total time' to a relationship without having some time for herself. These two gentlemen are her friends and that sounds like all they are especially since she already told the one she is involved with you. Are they involved in her post graduate classes/work? If they are her classmates, she may have to work with them, too.

    Do you have friends you go out with? Do you sit around waiting to talk to her when you don't have work/classes?

    Long distance relationships take a lot of work, communications, compromise and Trust. Show her that you trust her and she will probably be more willing to communicate and work with you on a compromise. Make demands and she may decide that you will be even worse after marriage. If she gets that thought in her mind, love may not be enough reason to stay with you.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Aug 2, 2011, 07:33 AM

    You wrote she spends less time with you due to her studies but does make time for you>> this is a good thing. She even put him in his place in place in front of you>>>another good thing.

    I could understand why you are coming from and why you dislike her being in contact with this friend but I think she is making it known what she wants and whoo she wants>> you. She isn't hiding het friendship with him so focus less on this. I don't know how often they talk but wouldn't keep bringing it up because all it is going do is lead to arguments and who wants that when the two of you can be doing other things?

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