[alreigha]

I started dating this guy a little over month ago. I really like him but it's just not going right but I don't want to loose him. I'm beginning to fall in love with him and really enjoy his company. He is a really sweet and affectionate guy but he has his downsides and I don't know if they really make up for the upsides. He is extremely smart and an expert in history and psychology. He overanylizes things to the point that seeing a movie with him can become unenjoyable. Lately I have been seeing and extremely possessive side to him. At first I thought it was a protective side because he started by telling me to never talk to or be around the cousin who molested me when I was little, even though me and this person are on great terms. Then he says that in order to be with him, I have to give up all of my friends. He doesn't just mean not going out with them all the time, he means all of them for everything. He wants me talking to no one but him, and my family members. I don't know what to do because he doesn't seem to see that its possible for me to be able to devote all of my love and attention to him and still have friends. He also has bipolar depression and I think a lot of it has to do with that but as smart as he is he should be able to realize some of these things. And when he finds out that I've talked to one of my friends he says that I broke my word and he looses trust in me and makes me feel so guilty for having friends. But I want to keep the friends that are most important to me and still be able to keep him. I don't know what to do. Please help

[Wondergirl]

1. it's just not going right
2. he has his downsides
3. He overanylizes things to the point that seeing a movie with him can become unenjoyable.
4. extremely possessive side to him
5. he started by telling me to never talk to or be around the cousin who molested me when I was little, even though me and this person are on great terms
6. in order to be with him, I have to give up all of my friends
7. he means all of them for everything
8. He wants me talking to no one but him and my family members.
9. he doesn't seem to see that....
10. He also has bipolar depression
11. he should be able to realize some of these things
12. when he finds out that I've talked to one of my friends he says that I broke my word
13. he loses trust in me
14. he makes me feel so guilty for having friends

I don't know what to do.

You don't need anyone to tell you what to do, do you.

[talaniman]

If the thrill is fading after a month, imagine all the fun you will be having in two, stand up to him, or leave him in the dust.

My question is why you allow him to make stupid rules for you. That's not love, is it? I hope not!

[amicon]

You keep your friends (and your l I f e !) and that means dumping this pondlife asap-like yesterday!!

He's a walking disaster-leave-now.

[J_9]

Run, run as fast as you can!!

There are so many red flags in your post that I lost count before I finished reading!

Tell him under no uncertain terms that if you cannot continue to keep the friends you already have, and the ones you will meet in the futre, that he needs to pack his bags and hit the road JACK!

[ken007nielsen]

You need to stand up to him, all of his protective rules is for his own peace of mind, he's being extremely selfish and this will continue - unless you tell it how it is, you want to be with him - but you will not at any point allow him whatsoever to control your life.

Ive been there, where he is - not to the same degree. But the only way he will ever learn is if you control your own life, you will not be a slave communicating to whomever he see's fit.

You have only been dating for a month, you don't really know him - but your infatuated with him so you allow him to control you.

But should you choose to carry on with him, let this be a warning your going to have a really really tough time changing the way he is, and there's no guarantee that you will succeed!

[mj808]

Its only been a month and he's trying to run your life and scaring you? What would you tell your best friend if she was a relationship like yours? You'd tell her to get out ASAP! There are plenty of smart guys who won't bulldoze you out there. Its time to go before it gets worse.

[cassiefitz]

He isn't worth it.. leave now plenty more fish in the sea

[mmresd]

Let me be straightfoward:

You break up with him,
You teach him a lesson by breaking up with him,
And you continue with your life as if you two were never together.