[twinkiedooter]

After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet that conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics red and corrects the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

P. Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S. Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P. Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S. Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P. Something loose in cockpit.
S. Something tightened in cockpit.

P. Dead bugs on windshield.
S. Live bugs on backorder.

P. Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 foot per minute descent.
S. Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S. Evidence removed.

P. DME volume unbelievably loud.
S. DME volume set to more believable level.

P. Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S. That’s what they’re there for.

P. IFF inoperative.
S. IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P. Suspected crack in windshield.
S. Suspect you’re right.

P. Number 3 engine missing.
S. Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P. Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P. Target radar hums.
S. Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P. Mouse in cockpit.
S. Cat installed.

[QLP]

Loved it. :D

[Unknown008]

Loved it too :p

[albear]

Nice :D

[Just Dahlia]

Loved it too!

[twinkiedooter]

Thanks guys.

My favorites are the no auto land and the cat installed.

[Aurora_Bell]

Those were cute!