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    Molly Kay's Avatar
    Molly Kay Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 29, 2011, 02:20 AM
    Why does he still talk to his ex?
    He was only with her for 4 months and he had not even heard of her after they split up (he Left her for me) we have been together for 3years, and 2 months ago some how she got hold of his number (his friends most probably) and started texting him. Telling him how her gran had died and she had been diagnosed with diabeties. He was hiding the texts from me (apparently) because I have a panic disorder and gastric ulcers and go Absolutely mental, but I found out, and he told me it was her,but I also found a text from her saying the following: ' I know your with her I saw you together the other day, and I'm really being bad, but I have a last wish with you'. And he told me not to worry about it because he wasn't going to give her ****. Apparently now she has text ed him saying to forget it. And as far as I know they send the odd text. He said that if he wanted to be with her he wouldn't of left her for me.she older than he is he's 23 she's 24. Should I worry? Because he never gets in contact with his exes they always get in contact with him first and after a while they dissapear( sometimes!) I know he dsnt go off anywhere because we live together and he always tells me what he is doing and he has never come back and I've suspected something, He even went out one night with his friends to a club and she was there, he told me when he got home that he had been with her.I've had my hissy fits about it and we've argued and I've asked him to stop talking to her and he said that he won't that they are just friends (or he is atleast)and he gets really anoyed and askes me why after 3years of being together can I not trust him. I seriously don't know what to do!
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jul 29, 2011, 05:05 AM

    Why after three years do you not trust him ? Yes, a valid question. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill and more you keep at him about his ex, the worse it is going to get until he gets positively p***sed off and something happens between you two that you would not want. So let it be. You already mentioned that you two are together all the time and he tells you everything, so what is the problem? No problem. Have a happy relationship without drama.

    Tick
    BK201's Avatar
    BK201 Posts: 338, Reputation: 150
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    #3

    Jul 29, 2011, 11:23 AM

    He is not hiding things from you now, and he is honest enough to tell you that she was there at the club. Have some trust, and faith in him. Men wants to be understood and women needs love. That's the basic
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #4

    Jul 29, 2011, 11:52 AM

    I could understand the concerns you have about your boyfriend being friends with this particular ex. However, he is being honest with you about it. Even though he might have tried to hide the first initial text but he haven't lied to you or tried to hide anything from you since than. Now, I don't know what you mean when you wrote " he had been with her at the club".

    So have trust in your man and don't get let her into your relationship by keep bringing her up.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 29, 2011, 11:55 AM

    Do you harbor some guilt because he left her to be with you? Are you afraid that the reverse will happen?

    Either you trust him and yourself and the years you have been together or you push him away out of fear and other negative thoughts.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jul 29, 2011, 03:25 PM

    Yes you are making this into more drama than necessary. And while he may think its okay to be friends with an ex, he sure isn't putting the relationship first is he. (But he didn't put his relationship with her first either, did he? HMM!) But what do you expect from a guy that left a relationship to be in one with you? He cheated on her, or you stole him, whatever.

    I think that your fears, and insecurities will never allow you to accept your guy being friends with this ex, and it will be a wedge between you, as you will always be afraid she will steal him back. But, for sure, the bigger deal you make of this, the better she will look.

    Either you trust him, to handle himself correctly, or you leave.
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
     
    #7

    Jul 30, 2011, 11:48 AM
    It probably made it worse him hiding it for you. Women ALWAYS find out. So the obvious answer is to surely tell us before it gets worse? Eh, I'll never understand that side of men.

    I think the more jealousy you show towards the while thing, the more you'll push him away. Men hate being controlled, or thinking we're trying to change them. Act like it isn't a big deal and it won't BE a big deal. Get yourself out. If he's out, go to the gym or something. Girls night in? (DON'T go out with an ex of yours, it'll show obvious revenge)

    "I wouldn't have left her for you" - Read that point back to yourself darling.

    X Dani G
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #8

    Jul 31, 2011, 01:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Molly Kay View Post
    he told me when he got home that he had been with her
    What does "had been with her" imply?

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