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    duydang's Avatar
    duydang Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 9, 2011, 03:46 PM
    Girlfriend of 5 years wants space...
    She broke up with me 1 month ago saying she just needed space to get her independence back... she also old me that she is not looking for another relationship as this break is just to explore new things outside our relationship. We use to spend everyday just chilling and watching shows together. Her best friend that she talks to about our relationship is also my cousin which she tells me there is no guy and that she is a very very loyal girl. That I should give her space. She saids she wants to build a happier ffuture between me and her and the only way she sees that is that if we grow by ourself and be happy with ourselves first... I can't eat or sleep not thinking about her cause I just want her back.. she also works with my sister but is it normal to be in a long term relationship and wanting to be single for awhile.. we been dating since high school.. I'm 22 and she's 21 now... will she come back when she gets her space?
    Cherry-Vanilla's Avatar
    Cherry-Vanilla Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jul 9, 2011, 05:22 PM
    Hey duydang! I read your story and it is so close to me. I had the same need in the end of my last relationship /i forgot to tell you that I`m a girl/. So... in my view your girlfriend just needs some time on her own so that she can see how good it is to be in a relationship. Okay it sounds confusing... what I mean is that when you are alone for a while you start seeing couples all around you and you start feeling lonely. And then you realise how good it is to be with someone. Don't you worry... after some time on her own she will get back to you, I am sure about that!
    duydang's Avatar
    duydang Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 9, 2011, 05:48 PM
    Thanks cherry-vanilla! She's going on a trip next week with one of her girlfriends which I've met before and doesn't seem to hate me lol the thing is that I have 4 weeks before I can wait for her cause just recently my friend ask me to move to another city with him and help work with him... I've known him since I was a kid and been best friend since. He needs to know answer when he comes back from his trip in 4 weeks lol so how long did you took to come in realise that you started to miss him... she is very loyal and honest so I trust her 100%... I just feel like I'm in a limbo not being with her as sad as that sounds lol I am also very honest and faithful to her and never thing anything as far as cheater and flirting. I said thhis because I'm willing to stay here for her cause I also have a good job here.. thanks for the reply!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Jul 9, 2011, 05:55 PM

    Give her space and see what happens. You have no choice so you may as well relax.
    duydang's Avatar
    duydang Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 10, 2011, 12:18 AM
    Thanks talaniman, I've been reading your post and you do give good advice.. its just hard cause I get like panic attacks that she might be gone forever... I want to text her or call her right now cause I miss her so much but ill just talk here.. if anyone got the same situation , u can post here and tell us about your story. Thanks
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #6

    Jul 10, 2011, 06:02 AM

    You must go about your own life and do your best to keep yourself busy,rather than sitting around wanting to get in touch with her.

    Don't wait around in limbo!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jul 10, 2011, 12:55 PM

    Better learn to control yourself before you hurt yourself.
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #8

    Jul 10, 2011, 01:26 PM

    Never let one person control your happiness. Unless that one person is indeed you.

    If she wants space, then give it to her. I know you don't believe it now, but you'll be fine no matter what happens.

    Most people go through many losses/break-ups before they find their " final mate".

    If it's meant to be, then it will. Good luck to you.

    Now go eat.
    Cherry-Vanilla's Avatar
    Cherry-Vanilla Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jul 10, 2011, 01:52 PM
    I am glad that I could help :) It is such a cliché... but "Good things happen slowly"... so if you are patient enough she will come back to you soon... and who knows... maybe when she is on that trip she will think of you every day... and then come back to you... Wish you luck!
    duydang's Avatar
    duydang Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jul 11, 2011, 08:35 AM
    update. So I found out 2 months ago she went to vegas. She met some random guy... she hang out with him on the last day of the trip only probably for like 20 minutes saying she was sad,mad cause one of her friends didn't want to go out and party. So she chill with him playing slots... then when she came back, she was texting him back and forward... she claims that she didn't text him a lot... and also he sent her about 20 pictures of himself... some naked... and she sent 3 of herself but none of them naked... she claims that after she realise what she was doing was wrong so stop all communication with him. He lives in vegas and this week she is going back to vegas. She promised me she isn't going back to see him and won't be seeing him. She just want to enjoy her vacation. She saids she rather just go to vancouver instead of vegas but she can't say no to a vacation. I just don't know how to feel. She didn't kiss him or anything.. I really love her and her parents talk to me the other guy asking me where I've been. They really like me. I've spent all night with her yesterday, just sleeping and talking.. no sex or any thing like that. No kissing. I just ask her question like is she going to meet up with him? Answer no. do you have intention of having another fling with another guy like that? She said I won't do anything to show you I am sorry. She never told me about that guy in the first place.. her friend told me... she says the reason she didn't tell me because she stop all communication with him 1-2 months ago. Should I be angry ? I will forgive her after this next vegas trip.. before she left. She actually kiss me and will call me when she gets back... I don't know what to think
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jul 11, 2011, 09:36 AM

    I wouldn't be angry, but if you are still broken up, I would be gone, because what she does on her own as a single lady is her business, and not yours.

    You acting jealous, insecure, and clingy trying to get her back, is unattractive, and clingy, and not giving her any space.
    duydang's Avatar
    duydang Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jul 11, 2011, 10:15 AM
    She was not single at the time.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jul 11, 2011, 10:35 AM

    I am asking is she single now! Are you together or NOT?

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