[clements_40]

Ok, I met Kim about 6 years ago when she and her sister and father moved in to one of my parents rent houses to go to work for us in our shop, we were really to young for a serious relationship. But we were really close friends. I was currently in a relationship with another girl Danielle for like 3 years at the time. You know puppy love I guess you would call it. But anyway Kim and I kind of went our separate ways for about 3 years and by then Danielle and I was split up and me and Kim hit it off in a serious way, I completely fell head over hills for this girl, we were going steady for a year before we moved in together and have been living together for a year. In a house that she and I completely remodeled together, I mean brick new windows and walk in closet, bay window and all. But anyway we have been having some problems, and since were not married when we would get into an argument I would say really mean things like this isn’t your house and stuff like that. But on the same token she would say the same stuff all out of anger. Of course I didn’t mean it. But the last big fight we had I told her I didn’t want her there anymore, and I guess it was the last straw. I’m not really sure what’s going on. But she is going to move out in a couple days. In an apartment I helped her get. But she still wants to be an item you know and see me every day and see the dog every day, he is like a kid to us. I was a total jerk for so long she is just tired of my I guess, well we have been really getting along and everything. I have been treating her the way she wants to be treated and I don’t know what else to do, at first I was trying to get her to stay and work it out but I think it deeper than that. We have never lived alone I moved straight out of my parents house to live with her. She did the same. So I was thinking that maybe she needs to see she can make it on her own. And I know she wants to be with me because she mentions stuff like our vacation were going on this summer, and she still wants to get married and have kids. You guys are probably going to say what you are worried about. But I have an extreme trust issue with women all women not just her, even my mother, and it really sucks because Kim has never once gave me any reason not to trust her.
I am completely lost and don’t know what to do. I love this girl with all my heart, and I know she loves me too, what do I do.
Sorry so long I figured you needed the whole story

P.S. I don't know what to do when she moves out we have been living together for a year. I am lost without her

[Synnen]

Honey, you need to have a life that doesn't make her the center of it.

I've been with my husband for 10 years now. What makes it work is that
1. We trust each other.
2. We communicate honestly with each other
3. Neither one of is us the center of the other's world! I love him, and would do almost anything for him, EXCEPT give up who *I* am. Sure, there's compromise, but that's not the same thing.

You need a real break from each other to figure out what the heck you want.

[talaniman]

A break is absolutely the best thing for you both

[talaniman]

Originally Posted by clements_40
so when she moves out should i wait for her to call me or what?

in a Pm posted with permission.

Hello clements, sorry for my short answer as I assumed you would take the previous posters advice to heart, actually I don't believe in waiting for any one to make up their minds concerning my own future. So as you are broken up for whatever reason I really think you could use this break to honestly look at yourself and this relationship and work on your own self. From what you wrote you had many faults that led to arguments and disagreements between you and your ex as well as things some very hateful things said between the two of you. Couple that with your youth and inexperience, I really can't say she will be back, but the best course of action is to get on with your own life without her and leave her to grow and think on her own without any pressure from you. I know about that first big break up, and the feelings of loss that come with it, but trying to pursue someone under these conditions does no good and will push them even further away so yes, if she moves out, let her go and leave her alone to make up her own mind while you get your act together. When and if she calls you will be better able to talk calmly and rationally about a future or whatever, but for now use the time apart wisely as you are both really young and sounds like the first big love for you both. I wish I had more positive advice to give, but I can only say you both made a big move too fast and now you both need to regroup and figure where you go next. Re-read the other posts as well as more stories on this forum for some good insight. I also would like to post this in the public forum as other could make use of this and you will get some more feedback. I hope I've helped.

T_MAN

[momincali]

Unfortunately, moving in together tends to screw up relationships way more than it ever helps them. It sounds like she finally got fed up with your treatment, you were both mean to each other. Maybe it is in both of your best interest to just go your separate ways.

She may sound interested in continuing the relationship, but I think the damage is done.

[clements_40]

Thanks for the insight but she has been gone for a few days and it is great. Everything kind of just fell in place so to speak. She needed her space and I let her have it and I think it will work out just fine. I guess I was just reading too deep into it I don't know. Its actually kind of cool because we have to work harder to see each other I think we really needed this. Ill keep you posted if you want me too.

P.S. There never really was any damage

[talaniman]

Yes, by all means keep us updated.

[clements_40]

Hey guys I just thought I would update you on what's going on. It got a lot better once I showed her that I could move on and be happy without her, she has told me she loves me still without me asking, but we are taking it real slow and not spending as much time together. I think everything is going to work out just fine. I just hope if we ever get married and 5 years down the road she doesn't go through this phase again. I bought her a promise ring for valintines day, and going to send a dosen roses to her work. She made mension a while back no one has ever done that for her, so I thought I would be special. I honestly think she did all of this for me so I can find out what I really want out of life. And if that's the case it worked, I have never been more sure of what I want...
Thank you all I will post again in a few weeks,

[clements_40]

I have good days and bad days, but I guess for the most part they are getting better... I feel I am stuck, I know she wants to be with me and all our dreams we shared she still wants, but now I am starting to feel like games are being played, I might not have any clue what I am talking about, because I was wrong about why she moved out. I don't want to feel like I am just waiting for her to be ready for me, that's not right but also I don't want to move on and loose my chance to be with the person I love the most. I still see her just about every day for at least 10 min or so. Most of the time longer than that. Plus we share the dog together. We go out to eat about 2 times a week. She still kisses me and all that but we are not being sexual at all thinking that mabey it will make us stronger... I feel like she loves me and cares about me but won't show it like she used to.
Why do I feel stuck? And also if this happened once I feel like in 5 years she could do this again and I won't be able to make it work the next time I don't think...

[Wildcat21]

Synnen - outstandin gadvice!! And it it's for EVERYONE here!!

You kmake them your world and you will be heart brokem - no one nees that pressure o nthem - ever. She had all the power.