[donf]

Greetings.

I must say that this July is like being at the Alamo and realizing that there is no back door!

That is not a slur against the Great Republic of Texas!

My Lady has a PhD from the Marquis De Sade, school of Domestic, Spousal Management. Because of that I was forced to attend the Marquis De Sade "Obedience School". What a rip off!!

For example, after struggling for most of yesterday to unscramble the wiring in the bedroom I use as an office I finally managed to get a ceiling fan installed. Granted it was way to big for this room, 52" blade tip to blade tip. But on the plus side it came with a wall mounted transmitter to control the fan and light.

BACKGROUND: I bought this fan on sale about 18 months ago. It sat in the garage because it was to big for the room. I had asked my Lady if she would like the fan in the master bedroom because it was larger than the fan that was there. The answer was a hard and fast, NO! Don't mess with what is working!!

Okay, so I decide finally to install it in the room I use. Once it's up and the Lady sees it, I am asked, "Why did you put that in this room. It's way to large." Put it in my room and take that fan an put it here." "But dear, you said you did not want it." "No I didn't and beside it will look better in the other room."

Wednesday dawns and I decide I will give in since I know the price for being correct will result in a living autopsy and personally, I like this side of the grass.

Swapping out ceiling fans is a trivial task even at the worst of times, however, today was not my day! My lady went to be with her sister at the hospital. Heather was have facial reconstructive surgery to correct several fractures around her eye and two breaks, one on her cheek and one on her jaw. But I digress.

During my misadventures today, I managed to get bit three times because of the wiring in this place. For reference, I have been working on electrical stuff for years and years. Normally if I get bit, it's because I'm doing something stupid. Not in this place!

The crowning event was when I lost my balance in the master bedroom. I was on the ladder and managed to fall. In the processing of crash landing, I hit the night-stand, and the edge of the desk (please note this) and bounced onto the floor.

Apart from the bruised right arm, I passed the bounce test with Black and Blues.

While my Lady's sister was in surgery, (3 hours) she called me and asked if I would bring her something to eat and would I sit with her for a while.

So I stopped at the dinner, picked up her favorite sandwich and a piece of Chocolate Cream pie and head over to the hospital, during a torrential downpour.

While eating, I mention my many tragedies of the day and without breaking stride, I get, "Well you know better than to work on a live circuit, moron!" When I mention the fall and tell her I'm bruised but fine, she asked me if I broke anything. I told her no, but the way my shoulder hit the desk, the corner is now polished.

I swear, the Lady looked at me and said, "Good, since you started to polish the furniture in the bedroom, I expect it all done by the time I get back from the hospital after my sister is discharged tomorrow."

Where oh where is the compassion and loving care for her injured spouse?

Well, I guess I start looking for the Pledge (that is what you use for polishing stuff, correct) and I guess I better vacuum and change the sheets. Maybe I can get the windows and laundry done also!

It's just not equitable!

[Alty]

LMAO!

I wish I could sympathize, but I'm the Lady in my house.

I work full time. Hubby works 2 weeks days, 2 weeks nights. He's on nights now, and the kids are on summer break, so he's home all day with them while I work, and I'm home all night while he works.

I think it's only fair that since I clean, cook, take care of the kids and animals when I'm home, that he does the same. I mow the lawn, I water the yard, I do things that are usually considered man jobs. Well, one thing I can't do is install the window air conditioner unit we have.

For 3 weeks I've been asking him to put it in. It's hotter then h. e. double hockey sticks! I can't sleep! I've left notes. I was nice in the notes. I even put XOXO on the bottom of the notes, but every night when I get home from work, there's no air conditioner, and it's 30 degrees Celsius in the house. For my American friends, 30 degrees C is hotter then... well, it's hot. Very hot!

Sometimes we gals have to nag, whine, complain and act mean to get what we know needs to be done. It's that or do it ourselves. I'm sure I could install a ceiling fan, but the air conditioner... that thing is heavy! ;)

Last night I wasn't too nice in my note. It was a "put in the air conditioner or find another place to live", kind of note. Well, much to my surprise, when I arrived home this evening, the air conditioner was in place.

The ends justify the means. :)

[DG]

I love it. Being the man of the house. I do what I'm told to do , and when to do it :)

[Alty]

I love it. being the man of the house. I do what I'm told to do , and when to do it :)

LOL! But, do you do what you're told and do it when you're told?

Wow! That sounded bad. :o

[donf]

Aulteweg,

Over the past 46 years I have found out that if I do what I'm asked, almost as fast as I"m asked I can keep he woman in absolute control and keep breathing at the same time.

I know I am the absolute boss in my home. My Lady says so and she would never lie!

What made the switching of the fans such a nightmare was that a lot of the wiring was "DIY" stuff that was screwed up.

By the way, how do you a vacuum and what is it supposed to do, anyway. :)

[QLP]

How come you haven't replaced all the wiring then Don? Would have given you the opportunity to replaster and redecorate the lot whilst you were at it too.

Sorry, couldn't resist.:p

I had a friend who worked in casualty (accident and emergency) who had some interesting tales on occasion about the creative uses some gentlemen sometimes found for a vaccuum cleaner, but as the results were often somewhat uncomfortable, and we are in polite company, I won't go into details! Best to think of it as a big toy car Donf. Turn it on and it makes a nice brrm noise and just have fun pushing it around. Make a few fire-engine noises to up the fun level if you get bored.

I think my wicked gene is switched on today.

[donf]

QLP,

Good evening. It's 11:17 A.M. now here in my corner of the U.S.A.

I have to tell you I have seriously considered abandoning the existing Aluminum wiring in the walls and pulling new copper wiring to replace this old stuff, but that would require way too much time in the attic. My lungs can't take that, even with a respirator on.

I am relaxing with a cup of coffee. I have already polished a curio cabinet and the stuff in it.

I did the 2 file cabinet that I hit on the way to a controlled crash on the floor. Once I got the blood and bone chips off the top, it doesn't look so bad.

I have the Pledge and even a cloth, because I heard that you need to wipe up what you spray.

[J_9]

Is your Lady giving lessons or seminars? How much does she charge?

[southamerica]

This thread is hilarious!

Oh, the joys of domesticity! I can't wait! :)

[QLP]

Going great there Don. You're a real good guy with a real naughty sense of humour lol.

My old, very old, house is the wonkiest thing ever. Not a floor is level, nor a wall plumb. The plumbing is just crazy and the wiring laid out unpredictably. I have been caught out drilling a hole where no bit of wiring ought to exist for any logical reason. The elecrician must have just taken the scenic route...

Just had a new fireplace and fire fitted. Now scratching my head trying to work out how to lay the new wood flooring without the slope and gap at one end under the fireplace standing out like sore thumbs, without rebuilding the whole darned thing. Packing, somewhere, somehow, I'm thinking.

I do understand the concept of, 'well this job would be a lot easier if the stuff done before was right.' Still, I never left body tissue on the corner of anything yet. Well, no more than a few small blood pools on occasion. Definitely no bits of bone. Though I broke my toe walking into a door frame once. See, very wonky house.

I do hope that cup of coffee fortifies you. I'm having tea, very English you know. Fortifying myself after the painting whist waiting for a plumber to come fix my leaky toilet and holding my breath regarding the bill. I would be having toast with my tea but the toaster blew up this morning. The washing machine which is playing up just got soundly kicked and that seems to have made it behave for the moment, or at least it's pretending to until it feels safe.

[donf]

QLP,

Good morning, tea time yet?

I just happen to see something in a repair journal about leveling floors the cheep way.

What the guy did was use bags of kitty liter to float the floor and level it. I suppose you could use sand for the same purpose. Once the floor was level, he just framed out a sub-floor and put his new floor on top of that.

I think I read that in the latest edition of "This Old House", do you get that mag in "Jolly Ole England"?

Well enjoy your tea and cakes!

[QLP]

Good morning again Don. Thanks for the tip. I have never heard of 'This old house' before but just googled their website and it looks to have lots of interesting information and tips. Will be perusing later.

I'm a bit distracted this morning. The plumber came to mend my toilet yesterday evening but didn't have all the bits so is coming back this afternoon. What I didn't realise is that his investigations had moved the point at which it was dripping and increased the flow. Got up to a very soggy bathroom. Have dealt with that best I can but the new drip point only allows for a small jug to catch the water and needs emptying every 20 minutes. It seems like a long morning.

The washing machine finally completed a load of laundry after only 1 day but now won't let me in to retrieve it. I don't feel very productive so far.

I did bake a cake last night though, date and apple. Did you smell it Don? It's going down nicely with my mid morning cuppa.

Right, time to go empty the jug and kick the washing machine again...

[tkrussell]

One solution would be to have the wife work on the wiring...

Oh wait, she knows the rule, however, not necessarily stated exactly in this fashion in NFPA 70 E,

"Well you know better than to work on a live circuit, moron!"

And if she wants all the furniture polished, do you have a commercial floor buffer handy?

[redhed35]

I have found the 'do it yourself' method works when all else fails.

Prime example, I bought some brackets for outside to put hanging baskets into, ( 8 weeks ago!) after many 'will you put up the brackets today' conversations, I decided to take matters into my own hands, without a word I when onto holy ground ( the tool shed) pulled out the extension lead, and drill, I have no idea how those things work, set the whole thing up and starting drilling into the wall, id say 3 maybe 4 seconds later, brendan was tearing down the garden, seemingly you need drill bits? Screws and toggles? For this job.

Well, hey presto, he took over the job and now I have 3 lovely hanging baskets on my wall.


I entend to apply this principle when needed.

[donf]

T.K.

Oddly enough I did not get bit by the circuit I was working on.

There were several device boxes where there were two unrelated circuits tucked into the box. One had paste on it, but no cap.

The other two were pasted and capped but bare aluminium wire was not completely covered by the cap.

This the house that was wired by a blind guy, certainly not an electrician. It has circuits added everywhere.

[Synnen]

It's amazing how asking nicely doesn't work NEARLY as well as attempting to do it yourself with HIS tools.

[tkrussell]

Good strategy.

It's amazing how asking nicely doesn't work NEARLY as well as attempting to do it yourself with HIS tools.

I even see my wife go near the tool box and I jump out of the chair.



Hmmm, who is properly trained here?

[Alty]

Synn, I like your strategy. Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to replace the toilet downstairs, I have a feeling it will only take a few seconds before hubby takes over. :)

Sadly this doesn't work when I mow the lawn. He doesn't jump to do that, even if I moan and groan the entire time I'm doing it. :(

[tkrussell]

Oh crap, Alty, stand back from the tools, I will be there in the AM, you just sit there an look pretty.

Funny, as we drive the country roads of Maine, I point out all the women that are mowing the lawn, push and rider, to the wife, all I get is the look. Like yea, right.

[QLP]

I have a private crew to do my lawn. My guinea pigs do a brilliant job. :) Shame they don't clean their own house out as well.