[donf]

This is for all of us married guys that never seem to measure up to our Ladies standard! I'm sure you will appreciate this.

On Tuesday, my sister-in-law (72 years old) decided she would test her flying abilities and fall off a six foot high brick platform and brick steps.

She flew wonderfully, however, apparently no one had instructed her on putting landing gear down prior to hitting the steps and concrete apron.

There she reclines in all her technicolor beauty in the hospital. Room 474.

Six fractures around her left eye, a broken jaw and a broken cheek bone. This is matched by her shattered left wrist and the three breaks in her left forearm. My lady has been staying at the hospital with her sister since Tuesday.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was awoken to a request for breakfast and coffee at the hospital. No Problem, I'm on the way.

After breakfast, I was given a request for lunch, that is if I'm not to busy.

In the meantime, my niece called to say that the two young ones were driving her nuts so PLEASE pick them up. Okay, not a problem.

I delivered lunch plus two fruit smoothies one for the very kind nurse and one for the nurse's station desk manager. After a short visit, I'm now 2 hours late to pick up the toy people at my nieces, so I head over there to get them.

I arrive all chipper to find my son sitting there with my nieces four kids and another niece's child.

It appears my niece decided to let her water break, just to inconvenience me a little more. Back to the hospital I go. Melissa is on floor two, her Mom is on floor 4.

Melissa goes into delivery at 5:00 P.M. Her Mom, heads into surgery for her jaw at 6:30 P.M.

Baby Seth arrives at 5:45, I check him out, pretty neat toy person and hot foot it to Surgery Pre-Op to make sure Aunt Bonnie and Mom know of the arrival of baby Seth.

They are happy that the baby arrived health and that mom is fine, but furious that I don't know the child's name or the specifications of the child.

With that, I head out of the hospital, on a literal run to get Ryan, Niece's first born from baseball practice.

Next, I find out that I volunteered to have the four kids stay at my place for the night.

At the end of the day, my Lady asked me if I forgot to get anything done!

Grrrr, dirty words, no dear, I got it all done!

[JudyKayTee]

Just one question - what was she doing on the top of a platform?

Let me guess - flip flops?

Otherwise - I'm busy for the weekend so don't even THINK of calling me for help!

I'll tell you my story, Don. Husband tells his daughter, my stepdaughter, that, sure, WE'LL take her two year old for the day today, passing her off to her aunt (other stepdaughter) overnight, mother picking him up in the AM. Mother is off to some fireworks display at a camp ground. I know nothing about this until yesterday.

Did I mention that today is my husband's family picnic because his family is in from out of town?

SO - we pick up grandchild, drive him to a park with a pond AND a swimming pool (double the chance to drown) and Grandpa parks his rear in a lawnchair and yucks it up all afternoon with HIS relatives while Grandma (ME!) chases a two year old around. Ever watch a 2 year old for 12 hours?

At one point the 2 year old was swimming, pitched forward, knee deep water, and I jumped in and grabbed him. Then I slipped and both of us went into the water. I didn't have a change of clothes so I spent the afternoon in wet clothes. He thought it was a great adventure.

Grandpa didn't notice.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

[Wondergirl]

Don't you have an anniversary coming up?

[donf]

Judy,

Yes I know exactly what it's like to chase a two year old around.

Last year, Eli was two and Sean was 5.

As to the fall, it's almost like a Keystone Cops movie. If you can remember that far back.

Heather had stepped out of the kitchen in her daughter's home. She went to close the door but it jammed. She pulled real hard on the door handle, which came off the door and over she went.

Bless her heart, she is home form the hospital today. Melissa and Seth are home tomorrow.

[JudyKayTee]

Don't you have an anniversary coming up?

Yes - in March. You have plenty of time to save up for a really nice gift.

[Wondergirl]

Yes - in March. You have plenty of time to save up for a really nice gift.

I meant donf - July 10th, but now I'm on alert for yours too. Of course, you will have to give me your home address and phone number. :D And real name.

[QLP]

Oh Donf, I shouldn't laugh at your misfortunes but you have such a way with words I can't help it. You have maintained your sense of humour at least and I'm sure the many ladies in your life will remember to note your heroic deeds eventually.

[JudyKayTee]

I meant donf - July 10th, but now I'm on alert for yours too. Of course, you will have to give me your home address and phone number. :D And real name.

I gave it to your mother when I was there for Thanksgiving. Ask her.

OR credit it to my paypal account and I'll save you the time and energy of chosing something. I'll just buy what I need (or want. Most likely want.).

I think the two year anniversary gift is diamonds so please be generous.

[Wondergirl]

I gave it to your mother when I was there for Thanksgiving. Ask her.

Were you that blonde woman who was there at Thanksgiving? She wondered who you were, thought you might be a new neighbor or my brother's latest girlfriend.

Reminds me of a book I read years ago -- The Houseguest by Thomas Berger.

From Amazon:
Chuck Burgoyne seems, at first, to be the ideal houseguest, according to Audrey Graves, his unsuspecting hostess. He's a gourmet cook, he's congenial company, and he even saves a family member from drowning. Writing in his customary surreal style, Berger (Little Big Man, Being Invisible) creates the quintessential weekend-houseguest horror story, detailing the process that leads to the decision to kill Chuck, when his behavior inexplicably changes....

two-year anniversary... diamonds

Is it two years already? You sure it's not one year -- paper?