Check out some similar questions!

starlover16 · Jun 17, 2011, 06:12 AM

I have a stepmom just like that we have not been able to get along for 6 years now and it is pure hell I am 16 now I moved with my dad when I was 8 years old.the first two years were a piece of cake and then I started to get angry with her I didn't want her taking my moms position. I hate being a step child. I had a boyfriend and I wasn't supposed too so she went on my Facebook messaged him telling him I am a liar and decietful that I am not allowed to date till my parents say so and that he shouldn't date me anyweays because ill get him into trouble. That has set me off she wants me to fix our relationship but how can I when she does things like this?? It's like she is trying to ruin my life... So I am right there with you

JudyKayTee · Jun 17, 2011, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by starlover16

I have a stepmom just like that we have not been able to get along for 6 years now and it is pure hell i am 16 now i moved with my dad when i was 8 years old.the first two years were a piece of cake and then i started to get angry with her i didnt want her taking my moms position. I hate being a step child. I had a bf and i wasnt supposed too so she went on my facebook messaged him telling him i am a liar and decietful that i am not allowed to date till my parents say so and that he shouldnt date me anyweays because ill get him into trouble. That has set me off she wants me to fix our relationship but how can i when she does things like this?????? It's like she is trying to ruin my life....So i am right there with ya

This thread is from 2008 - BUT I'm not sure I understand.

You were not supposed to have a boyfriend but you did have a boyfriend so your stepmom thinks you lied and deceived her and your father.

Did you lie to them and attempt to deceive them?

Agreed that adults don't go on FB and post derogatory comments, particularly about family. Did she have any other way to reach him?

I'm not sure she's trying to ruin your life. It sounds like there are rules in your house and she'd like you to obey them.

starlover16 · Jun 23, 2011, 07:06 AM

To judykaytee
No you don't understand I am a jr in high school and I am 16 and not allowed to do anything it I am not allowed to go out with friends not allowed to date you tell me how that's fair and she only comes around when I am in trouble if I don't get some type of social life I'm going to go crazy

Wondergirl · Jun 23, 2011, 10:02 AM

I am not allowed to go out with friends not allowed to date

Why not? What does your dad say?

So you come home from school and are basically grounded until the next school day? Have you done something that you are being punished for? What are the reasons for this?

JudyKayTee · Jun 23, 2011, 10:10 AM

I'll address this part of your post: I had a bf and i wasnt supposed too so she went on my facebook messaged him telling him i am a liar and decietful that i am not allowed to date till my parents say so and that he shouldnt date me anyweays because ill get him into trouble.

You could get him into trouble - why? Because of his age, your age something else?

It appears your "parents" told you can't date. Presumably "parents" indicates your father is in agreement with your stepmother.

And you weren't supposed to date or have a boyfriend but you did. That would indicate you lied t your parents and/or deceived them. That's why they don't trust you.

The only way to regain their trust is to follow the rules - all the talking in the World will not convince them that you have changed.

I don't understand why this is all your stepmom's fault when you refer to a decision by "your parents."

starlover16 · Jun 27, 2011, 10:04 AM

To judy Kay tee
No his age isn't a problem he is a year older they don't care about that she just said it because she doesn't think I deserve him which I do deserve him
And my stepmom makes most of the decisions so yea it is mostly her

To wondergirl
Yes it's like I am grounded everyday the only person I hang out with is a 12 year old and I am 16 tell me how that's fair don't get me wrong she is fun to be around but I also want friends my own age not just family friends and yes my dad knows but he works a lot and she makes a lot of the decisions so...

Wondergirl · Jun 27, 2011, 10:11 AM

Yes it's like I am grounded everyday

Why are you grounded every day?

JudyKayTee · Jun 27, 2011, 10:14 AM

Would you please answer the part about not being allowed to have a boyfriend but still having a boyfriend?

Did you lose your parents' trust?

starlover16 · Jun 28, 2011, 11:05 AM

To Judy Kay tee
Yes I lost their trust over a year ago when I made a huge mistake that I deal with emotionally everyday and it sucks
They watch me go through this they should know that I am not going to make that mistake again because I don't want to hurt like this again
Its stupid
To wondergirl
It's like I am grounded everyday because it seems like she never want me to do anything I don't go out with friends
It's my summer vacation and I sit here everyday by myself an do nothing other than clean till I go to my moms for 6 weeks
Which lucky for me is in 3 days no one wants to spend their summer like this it's frustrating

JudyKayTee · Jun 28, 2011, 11:22 AM

Apparently whatever you did - you are NOT the only person suffering for it. I realize you hate your stepmother and "she" never lets you do anything. It would appear that your father agrees with "her."

Depending upon what you did and how badly you breached their trust the punishment may or may not be justified.

How did your father get custody of you?

I'm sure your parents are trying to teach you a lesson. I'm not sure they have - it appears the only thing you've learned is to blame your stepmom.

Will your mother allow you to go out, meet friends, date?

If you feel like sharing what did you do that was so terrible that you were grounded for a year?

I still don't understand how you have a boyfriend when you aren't allowed to have a boyfriend.

And I still think your stepmom was (at best) juvenile when she posted on Facebook about you.

starlover16 · Jun 28, 2011, 12:47 PM

To Judy Kay tee
I had sex with a boy in my basement and then he completely blew m off and blamed me for all sorts of crap that's why happened and yes my mom would let me go out with my friends and date she has no reason to tell me I can't I talk to her about it all the time she doesn't have a problem with it I am freaking 16 so I deserve that much a life maybe and I have a boyfriend because I like him if I didn't take the opportunity now I wouldn't have the opportunity later because he would be dating someone else and I like him a lot

JudyKayTee · Jun 28, 2011, 12:52 PM

Liking someone a lot so you have sex with him (if that's what your saying) in your parents' home (no less) is a very poor reason to have sex - if that's what you're saying.

Your Mom has no problem with you having sex at 16? Interesting. And why doesn't she have full-time custody of you?

I think having sex in your parents' basement when you are 16 is grounds for punishment. For a year? I don't know the rest of the circumstances nor do I know what "he" blamed you for.

Hopefully you are on birth control and/or able to raise a child. It appears your father and stepmother don't intend to raise the child for you if you get pregnant.

starlover16 · Jun 28, 2011, 01:26 PM

To Judy Kay tee
No u took it wrong this happened a year ago with a totally diff guy me and my boyfriend now don't want to do that and my mom I's not okay with me having sex she is okay with me having a boyfriend and a social life my boyfriend now is not the person that happened with

starlover16 · Jun 28, 2011, 01:28 PM

To judy Kay tee
The person that happened with pushed me and pushed me it wasn't rape because I agreed but he wouldn't stop trying So I made a mistake and gave in I like my boyfriend now a lot and would not want to ruin our relationship with something like that

JudyKayTee · Jun 28, 2011, 01:39 PM

Okay, now I understand! Yes, the punishment (if you've been grounded for a year) does seem severe. It certainly sounds like you learned a lesson. Then, of course, there's the whole deal about pregnancy.

Can you talk to your stepmom and father about this at all? Is there another adult you can talk to?

Are you not allowed to contact the new boyfriend? Is that the problem?

Where is your father in all of this? If your stepmother made the "punishment" decision by herself, I think she's out of line.

starlover16 · Jun 28, 2011, 01:43 PM

My dad said no too she sent the message on Facebook and no I'm not allowed to talk to my boyfriend outside of school my mom will let me though when I go down there I am not pregnant I didn't get pregnant and yes I would say that the problem is I'm not allowed to contact my boyfriend

JudyKayTee · Jun 28, 2011, 06:11 PM

The punishment seems very severe based on the "crime," particularly since you appear sorry and appear to have learned your lesson.

Can your Mom intervene in any way?

I only know what you've posted but everyone makes mistakes, you aren't pregnant, you seem contrite... seems like they are over reacting (and the posting on FB chills me).

starlover16 · Jun 29, 2011, 05:16 AM

No my mom can't really have a say she just let's me do things when I go to her house in the summer I don't know that I'm still grounded but they still don't trust me so I am not allowed to do anything so I say it's like being grounded

artlady · Jun 29, 2011, 11:13 PM

This is an old statement but I am impressed with what you said.. should be a sticky.. as all your wisdom should be.Rock on!