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    SmellenEllen's Avatar
    SmellenEllen Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:41 PM
    After 3.5 years of long distance, I don't know if it's time to end my relationship.
    In my first year of university, I was convinced that I had met the love of my life. The only problem was (and still is) that he lives in Germany, and I in Canada. After 3.5 years, both of our universities finished, I suddenly am unsure if this relationship is what I want. He is just over 3 years older than I, at 26 now, and I am 22, and I also feel that suddenly our age differences are huge. He has a career being a teacher in Germany, and I just graduated with a BA and really just want to explore and experience the world with my friends.

    Over the years, we have both lived in eachother's countries, but most of our time has been apart. We get along really well, but recently I find myself scared about what the future brings, and a little angry that I have been doing this since I was 19, and cannot see an end to it anytime soon. I repeatedly get angry over the smallest things involving us, and have this underlying feeling that this whole thing should end. I am so used to not seeing him, just talking, that I almost feel single anyway.

    We seem to want to separate things: I want to work and travel, he wants me to move to Germany. When I was in Germany with him before, though I loved being with him, I didn't feel comfortable there or that I fit in with his friends, though they were wonderful people. Was this my inner thoughts screaming at me then that if I wasn't comfortable in his home, that I wouldn't be comfortable with him at all in the future?

    I have never really been through this before, only having had one boyfriend in high school other than this relationship, so really I just need advice from someone who has been in a situation similar to myself before. How do you know when it is time to end a relationship, when at one point you thought this person was your perfect match?

    I feel like this was too much to put on me at 19, and now I am stuck with it! I am so torn. Either way at the moment I feel like my heart is breaking.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Jun 29, 2011, 10:40 PM

    You're young-uni's finished and a whole new life is beginning.

    At this point in a person's life it's normal to feel restricted in a relationship and want to explore the new life.

    From the way you put it,I think this relationship has run its course.

    Breaking up is never easy,but if that's what you want to do-you just have to find the courage to do it.

    Sooner rather than later.
    SmellenEllen's Avatar
    SmellenEllen Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 30, 2011, 11:37 AM
    Comment on amicon's post
    Thank-you, amicon. I have been asking my family and closest friends, and no one has been able to explain it that easily or as matter-of-factly to me yet. Asking strangers seems to be the best way to do things sometimes. I think what I have done is for the best for the both of us (just did the deed), and I think that I wrote this question with already knowing the answer, I just needed someone to confirm it. Thanks again.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Jun 30, 2011, 11:47 AM

    Good luck to you and have a great life.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jun 30, 2011, 02:42 PM

    OMG! Go have your fun, and enjoy some of the fruit of your labors the way you want to.

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