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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #1

    Jun 29, 2011, 06:40 AM
    Check yoself before you wreck yoself!
    I have seen some recent posts where long-term members have extremely chastised the OPs. I will not go into detail to which threads these are. But let us all remember that the OPs are here to get some help.

    In some instances they are in extreme pain, yet they post in other areas information to the contrary. These members are reaching out for help, yet what I have seen happening is that they are getting called out and their conflicting posts are getting picked apart.

    Let us all remember that in times of turmoil we all can have conflicting feelings. These people are here for help, not criticism.

    There was a thread in the Bereavement section (it has been removed so don't try to look for it) that really hit me hard. I realize that sometimes we have to look up other posts from members to get a whole and complete story, but remember that feelings, at times, are conflicting and that what they post in one thread may not be what they are feeling in another thread.

    In the end, if you are not here to help people, keep your thoughts to yourself. I am just as guilty as the next person is, but this particular thread was extremely hurtful. Not only to the OP, but to anyone going through what that OP was experiencing.

    Please, I ask you, remember what we are here for!
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #2

    Jun 29, 2011, 06:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    In some instances they are in extreme pain, yet they post in other areas information to the contrary. These members are reaching out for help, yet what I have seen happening is that they are getting called out and their conflicting posts are getting picked apart.
    We are only human and sometimes it looks like the OP is playing us. No one likes to be played and I don't have a problem with asking them about a post they made in another forum that contradicts what they say.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Jun 29, 2011, 06:56 AM

    Look, I've been played too, and I've admitted that I am as guilty as the next person. However, this one in particular was extremely cruel, and as such, has been removed.

    I'm just trying to say that we have to look at all sides before responding. And, since you don't play in the "feel good" sections of AMHD NK, this really doesn't apply to you. This applies to the people who respond in the Relationship/Bereavement/Death & Dying/Emotional, etc. forums.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #4

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:04 AM
    I sometimes make people feel good. :)
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeedKarma View Post
    I sometimes make people feel good. :)
    Really?
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #6

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Really?
    Check yoself before you wreck yoself!
    LisaB4657's Avatar
    LisaB4657 Posts: 3,662, Reputation: 534
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    #7

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:28 AM
    I've noticed an astounding lack of compassion the past few months on here, particularly on the Law boards (since that's where I spend most of my time). Yes, there are players out there. So what? If someone's playing you on here the only thing that can be damaged is pride. Possible damage to pride is not enough of a reason to act as cynically as I've been seeing many experts act.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #8

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:38 AM

    Hello:

    Business is bad. Some will tell you it's because of the recession... Some will say it's because of Google... Some will say it's because of the "comments" feature...

    But, I think, it's because we've become a**holes. If they ask about sex, we DEMAND to know how old they are. If they use text speak, we come down HARD on 'em. If they don't spell correctly, or use proper grammar, we ridicule them. God forbid they should give us a reddie! If we recognize their name, we LOOK for reasons to attack them. If we err, we err on the WRONG SIDE!

    I have looked for the enemy, and it is US!

    excon
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #9

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Some will say it's because of the "comments" feature...
    This and the whole new user experience as they are faced with that awful interface.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #10

    Jun 29, 2011, 07:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello:

    Business is bad. Some will tell you it's because of the recession... Some will say it's because of Google... Some will say it's because of the "comments" feature...

    But, I think, it's because we've become a**holes. If they ask about sex, we DEMAND to know how old they are. If they use text speak, we come down HARD on 'em. If they don't spell correctly, or use proper grammar, we ridicule them. God forbid they should give us a reddie! If we recognize their name, we LOOK for reasons to attack them. If we err, we err on the WRONG SIDE!

    I have looked for the enemy, and it is US!

    excon
    A million greenies to you Exy!
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #11

    Jul 3, 2011, 02:53 AM

    I do think it's better to assume the OP is genuine and in need of help. So what if that sometimes isn't the case. The worst that can happen is that I will waste a bit of time on someone who is messing around. My choice to spend the time or not. I would rather do that than scare off someone in real need that we could just have really helped.

    The ones I find most frustrating are the posts where everyone can see the OP's real issue except the OP. You know the ones where the OP is just looking for everyone to agree with their narrow point of view or indudlge them in a pity party. You will often see many people chipping in trying to get them to accept the truth and they do sometimes degenerate into people getting a little short with the OP in frustration. Not sure there's actually any real way of getting through with these sometimes.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #12

    Jul 3, 2011, 04:37 AM

    I've noticed an astounding lack of compassion the past few months on here, particularly on the Law boards (since that's where I spend most of my time).


    Here is one of the dividing lines that all of our visitors run into. On the "opinion" boards there is a lot more of give and take as the answer is based on an opinion. On "technical" boards, that by its very definition isn't allowed. The answers should conform to the area being answered in. The law is what it is and is often quoted. There are even stickies in most areas to address common questions and they still ask them. It doesn't matter how different you want to state it - signing away your rights isn't an option except for certain circumstances under the law. Its just not a simple deal. But in the law board its asked almost once a day it seems.

    I agree we shouldn't berate nor admonish OP's to the extent it drives them away. But you need to look at the big picture involved too. We aren't just a one trick pony. But it seems to be getting that way.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #13

    Jul 3, 2011, 07:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    We arent just a one trick pony. But it seems to be getting that way.
    I was just reading up on the Google algorithm which led me to "content farm." If I understand this correctly, that's what the changed algorithm has us classified as now and why we don't rise to the top of the heap during a search.

    content farm = used to describe a company that employs large numbers of often freelance writers to generate large amounts of textual content which is specifically designed to satisfy algorithms for maximal retrieval by automated search engines. Their main goal is to generate advertising revenue through attracting reader page views as first exposed in the context of social spam.

    Content farm - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #14

    Jul 3, 2011, 08:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Their main goal is to generate advertising revenue through attracting reader page views
    Hello Carol:

    But, that's NOT what we do. Therefore there MUST be a way for a website to COUNTER the change that wasn't aimed at us in the first place... That's what the devs need to be doing instead of fiddling around... We're going down in flames...

    excon
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #15

    Jul 3, 2011, 08:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    That's what the devs need to be doing instead of fiddling around... We're going down in flames...
    Dear excon:

    Is anything being done? I thought rpray or RickJ (hmmm, a bit of rhyming there) had said something would be figured out as to how to counter that notion that we are a content farm.

    WG
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #16

    Jul 3, 2011, 08:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Is anything being done?
    Hi WG:

    I asked 'em, but I did it on the V93 skin as comment instead of an answer, and I guessed they missed it.

    excon
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #17

    Jul 3, 2011, 09:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hi WG:

    I asked 'em, but I did it on the V93 skin as comment instead of an answer, and I guessed they missed it.

    excon
    Dear excon:

    What CAN be done? I looked at the algorithm on Wikipedia and then ran into the kitchen to find my bottle of Kahlua. I vaguely remember someone from the site saying all the ads make the difference.

    WG
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #18

    Jul 3, 2011, 09:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Dear excon:

    What CAN be done?
    Hello again, WG:

    If I knew how to write algorithms that attract traffic, I'd be a zillionaire.. SOMEBODY here knew how once.

    excon
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #19

    Jul 3, 2011, 09:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    If I knew how to write algorithms that attract traffic, I'd be a zillionaire.. SOMEBODY here knew how once.
    Dear excon:

    No, no, no. I meant, is there something the site can do to change the numbers that get put into Google's algorithm? For instance, change how the site presents its ads. Or, become altruistic and get rid of all the ads. :) That certainly would shoot the site to the top of the heap.

    WG
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #20

    Jul 3, 2011, 09:12 AM

    Dear excon:

    Would the same situation (loss in traffic) have existed had the new skin never been invented and everyone was on the old ones(s)?

    WG

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