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    butt's Avatar
    butt Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 29, 2007, 01:53 PM
    My girlfriend an her ridiculous parents that she follows
    I met this girl and starting going to her pentacostal church an everything was great but she wanted to know that I was a changed guy for God an we got together March 11 06 but this girl was 17 at the time and her parents decided to separate us twice for no real reason but they thought we were too close, we had sex on prom night my senior year after 2 months of being together for the first time and she was also a virgin and from then on in our relationship we were attatched to each other an her parents didn't like that, and so we continue in a relationship that had been attacked an almost destroyed by parents and its finally my girlfriends birthday an we talked on the phone about seeing each other an she told me she wanted to see me real bad and she missed me and loved me, so I try to come see her, on a four wheeler cause its icy an don't want to get stuck an when I get to there house, there family starts acting like it was inconvenient for me to come to their house an told me that there dad had made plans for their family on my 18 yr old girlfriends birthday so I left an they could tell I was pissed off because I just drove ten miles in the 20 degree weather on a four wheeler to spend time with my girlfriend an I was an inconvenience when I got there so the dad calls me and tries to invite me cause he feels bad an his daughter which is my girlfriend is upset about it too and decide not to go cause I wasn't originally wanted by their parents but my girlfriend did want me with her, and I complained to my girlfriend later about the situation and then the next day she's telling me that we need a break and that she is scared cause she don't know if its Gods will for us to be together and then tells me she's not in love with me anymore and so I try to make her jealous that same day and it worked but not the way I planned and now were finally talking and she sneaks around to come have sex with me but she won't even say I'm her boyfriend. She still tells me she loves me but she acts different day to day an all I want is her back as my girlfriend an her to stick up for us with her parents and it seems like I try to hard and nothings seems to work, what should I do cause I believe were meant to be cause we started being a couple the same day both our parents got married, her parents an my parents both got married on the 11nth of a month an we got together on march 11 an we didn't plan it an we didn't even try to find each other when we did find each other.
    KMSRyana's Avatar
    KMSRyana Posts: 142, Reputation: 26
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    #2

    Jan 29, 2007, 02:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by butt
    we had sex on prom night my senior year after 2 months of being together for the first time and she was also a virgin and from then on in our relationship we were attatched to each other an her parents didnt like that, and so we continue in a relationship that had been attacked an almost destroyed by parents
    It sounds like, to me, that she has confided her having sex with you to her parents. Likely she confessed it to her mother, who in turn told her father. So they know. And if that's the facts, then her parents probably are trying to keep you away from her and brainwash her into not liking you. After all, you had sex with their little girl. And if they're as religious as it sounds, they probably don't think pre-marital sex is a really cool thing. So you've got your work cut out for you. If it were me, I'd work really hard at showing the parents what a cool guy you are. Your girlfriend sees something in you, but they haven't seen it. Show them the sides of your personality that she likes, chances are that they will see it in time too.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 31, 2007, 09:14 AM
    From the way you posted I would have had the same attitude her parents have. You don't sound like a good guy to me at all and have an attitude to boot. How dare you young boy disrespect your G/f's parents and not be willing to meet and get to know them and present your good side to allay their fears that you are some no good jerk. Your problems are of your own making and you sound immature and selfish and you should go to church and thank God the father hasn't done more than just disapprove of your arrogance. You win them over by being forthright and honest so they can get to know and trust you. Try it again the right way will you please or get to steppin'
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jan 31, 2007, 10:42 AM
    I would have to say if I had plans for my child's birthday and a another person comes, uninvitied and just shows up, I would have done about the same.

    You can not and should not expect to just show up uninvited and be accepted.

    Next if her parents don't like you, they are in control and can say who they invite or don't invite into their home.

    And yes having sex for them is one of the biggest sins going, and most likely the girl was feeling wrong about it also and told her parents who are now protecting her from you.

    And you are "sneaking around" to have sex, what a wonderful relationship, I hope you are proud.

    So you stop using her for sex and start acting like a man who loves someone, there is a difference.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #5

    Jan 31, 2007, 09:30 PM
    Shame on you for disrespecting this girl in the ways you have shown - sneaking around, having her lie to her parents, messing around with another girl to make your girlfriend jealous, disrespecting her parents and their rights as her parents, and disrespecting the Lord. She and her parents attend a Pentecostal Church! Premarital sex is not an option for young women in that tradition. Her parents had a real reason to separate you two in the beginning - they saw what you could not - trouble for their daughter.

    Don't whine about driving 10 miles on an icy road to attend a birthday party you were not invited to. If your girlfriend wanted you there, she could have told her parents that she wanted you there and maybe they would have invited you. If not, do not go.

    You make your girlfriend choose between her parents and her religious upbringing and you. How smart is that? That is very selfish. You said you attended the church - did you do that to gain her trust so she would go out with you and have sex with you? It sounds that way.

    If you are really serious about this girl - now a young woman - get right with the whole situation. Attend her church and really make an effort to understand her faith and what it means to her. It might make a big difference in you and perhaps her parents will see you in a respectful light. Right now they just see some guy corrupting their daughter.

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