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    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #21

    Mar 21, 2007, 04:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    The females who fall for these lyin' cheatin' SOB's have issues and are stupid for listening to these guys,
    I agree. Look, I as a man have fallen for things women tell me that aren't true at all. Yes they lied and they have some of the blame, but in the end I also have to accept the fact that if the evidence is overwhelming that I'm being used and I allowed it to continue I'm stupid or at least acting stupid in that situation. I fully admit it. I've been really stupid believing some things women say to me. That's what brought me here to begin with as a matter of fact, my brain was telling me the truth but I wanted to believe something different. I NEEDED the cold slap of reality across my face because none of my friends wanted to hurt my feelings so they weren't doing it. Women like this NEED the cold slap of reality to shake them up and make them follow through on what they already know. It's not judging them or belittling them, it's getting them to face reality because most mistresses are not living in it.

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    But the main thing is these guy's are selfish and unconcerned as to the consequences of their actions and where I lay most of the blame at. Just my opinion.
    It's a 50/50 split in the blame, in my opinion but the guy wasn't posting here for us to rip into. So it's not like we blamed this women entirely, we just didn't have the other party here to take half of it. Kind of like every affair. The mistress takes the fall and the guy runs back to his wife.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #22

    Mar 21, 2007, 05:09 PM
    Absolutely Tal. I wish all the women who are with married guys and THINK he will leave his wife - read this thread.

    THE BIG DEAL IS>>>>>>

    He cheated on his wife - he WILL cheat on you!!
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    pregnantmama Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #23

    Mar 21, 2007, 05:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    The females who fall for these lyin' cheatin' SOB's have issues and are stupid for listening to these guys, But the main thing is these guy's are selfish and unconcerned as to the consequences of their actions and where I lay most of the blame at. Just my opinion.
    I totally agree with you. It is where I place most of the blame as well.
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    destiny1981 Posts: 3, Reputation: 0
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    #24

    Jun 27, 2007, 09:34 AM
    Thank you everyone for your views and opinions regarding my situation I do appriciate everybody's advice.

    I'm now 28weeks pregnant and looking forward to be mother.. I have learned lot from all this and I am a changed person now. I guess I was naïve and stupid to think he will leave his family for me then again we learn from mistakes.

    I told my fiancé the truth, the affair and the pregnancy. He was very HURT! I can't explain, but he decieded to stay with me and give it another go... things are not the same ofcause but its getting better everyday.he promised to love this baby as his own. And he's looking forward for our unborn baby.

    As for the married man, he's still married and the wife knows, he also came clean with his wife buy ofcause he put all the blame on me as all man do after getting caught, not taking any responsibility of the their actions just putting the blame on the other woman. Him and me are over and as for the child support, I have decieded to raise the child without his help as I don't want any contact what so ever.

    So again thanks everyone for your advice
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #25

    Jun 27, 2007, 10:15 AM
    Can ALL woman learn from this!! Please?? Many married many WILL lie, cheat, and steal to sleep with you - nothing more.

    You DO NOT get involved with a married men UNTIL the divorce papers are signed he's moved out.

    They rarely leave their wives.
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    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #26

    Jun 28, 2007, 08:06 AM
    Disagree. No one should be involved with a married. He has family etc.

    Yes, you've learned now... but you shouldn't have been there in the first place. He used you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #27

    Jun 28, 2007, 08:37 AM
    Yes you have made a mistake , all humans do but before you make decisions now that will affect your child, please give it a lot of though since the child has you to look out for his interest. Child support is not just for you or to make the father feel good, but it's the child's right and the fathers responsibility, to help give this child a better life and when adults shirk this duty the child suffers in the long run, and also consider what you tell your child when he ask where his dad is. Don't make your child suffer for your mistakes but think hard what is best for him/her. Anything less would mean you have not learned a damn thing from your actions. Don't take the easy road to assuage your own guilt's. Sorry, but I don't care about your feelings or the man who donated his sperm, Just do the right thing by this child.
    Same Situation's Avatar
    Same Situation Posts: 5, Reputation: 0
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    #28

    Aug 15, 2008, 12:20 AM
    May you get all you deserve
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #29

    Aug 15, 2008, 06:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Same Situation
    May you get all you deserve
    Well, at this point, she has a year old baby--something many women would do an awful lot to have.

    May Karma work for you, Same Situation. Including ALL of the thoughts and hopes and wishes you have for others coming back to you threefold.
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    Same Situation Posts: 5, Reputation: 0
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    #30

    Aug 15, 2008, 01:54 PM
    Comment on Synnen's post
    Thoughts are one thing, actions are another. This woman got pregnant by a married man on purpose, with no regard for anyone but herself. She is selfish and I do not feel sorry for women like her.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #31

    Aug 15, 2008, 02:21 PM
    Comments on this post
    Same Situation : Thoughts are one thing, actions are another. This woman got pregnant by a married man on purpose, with no regard for anyone but herself. She is selfish and I do not feel sorry for women like her.
    Who said I felt sorry for her? Seems to me the married man was at LEAST half of the issue here--why are you mad at HER and not at HIM? Most of the "cheating" situations I know of, it's the person IN the relationship starting stuff up with the single person, not the single person pursuing the married person.

    Either way, the POINT of my post was that this thread is a YEAR AND A HALF OLD. Your post is falling on deaf ears because her situation no longer exists.

    Either way, you wishing her all she deserved is something of a curse--you didn't mean it kindly, and your comment to me proves it. I'm just saying that no matter HOW bad this seems to you, I'm sure that you're not squeaky clean of any action that has hurt someone else in the past--and since Karma works, that ill-wish will come back to haunt you when you get what YOU deserve.
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    #32

    Aug 15, 2008, 02:49 PM
    QUOTE:
    Who said I felt sorry for her? Seems to me the married man was at LEAST half of the issue here--why are you mad at HER and not at HIM? Most of the "cheating" situations I know of, it's the person IN the relationship starting stuff up with the single person, not the single person pursuing the married person.

    Either way, the POINT of my post was that this thread is a YEAR AND A HALF OLD. Your post is falling on deaf ears because her situation no longer exists.

    Either way, you wishing her all she deserved is something of a curse--you didn't mean it kindly, and your comment to me proves it. I'm just saying that no matter HOW bad this seems to you, I'm sure that you're not squeaky clean of any action that has hurt someone else in the past--and since Karma works, that ill-wish will come back to haunt you when you get what YOU deserve.

    ____________

    I agree that "He" is 50% in the wrong, didn't say he wasn't. Deaf ears or not, people are responsible for their actions. She selected to be involved with a married man, and I say again, with no regard for anyone but herself. I don't think her actions should be "swept under the carpet" or accepted. Whether I am "squeaky clean" or not, is not relevant. She slept with a married man, not me. You are right. I do not think kindly of women like her and to accept what she has done is close to condoning it. Just as you are entitled to your opinion, so am I.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #33

    Aug 16, 2008, 12:10 AM
    /sigh

    Can we PLEASE get this post closed?
    candy63floss63's Avatar
    candy63floss63 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #34

    Jan 4, 2010, 06:33 AM
    I truly understand your situation. I am a step worse off. Married, got pregnant from my affair and out of sanity and time to pick up what was left of my conscious I separated from my husband. He till this day does not know the child is not his and I cannot tell him as yet. My lover, well he is a well to do man who only thinks of his 'status' - work and church - six years down the road I now realise that it might have been a big mistake. I love him to the end of the earth and back! But reality is that he is not mine and though he tries to support me financially - I need it but I need him more. I now don't know what to do with my beautiful innocent child when she gets older - do I let her know the truth... I am now pretty much planning migrating just to get real. On top of this I have two other children I will have to explain too. Yes there were reasons enough for the affair to start but its all such a mess, I should have dealt with myself first. I hope this helps.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #35

    Jan 4, 2010, 08:01 AM

    CLOSED!

    This thread is THREE YEARS OLD.

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